Selfrespect

Pleasing others is a complete waste of time. Focus on yourself because you're not going to make everybody happy. #MentalHealth #self -image #selflovecomesfirst #Selfrespect #Selfesteem

It's okay to appreciate your greatness. Feel it, respect it, revel in it and see your whole world change for the better as your perspectives shift and you alter your perceptions. #innercompassion #Selfrespect #InnerBrilliance #BekindWithin #Selfappreciation #mentalhealthday #beyou #SurvivorWarrior #ucandounlimitedchange

I suffered from a deep trauma some years ago, which destroyed all of my friendships I had back then. I tried to get professional help, even went to a clinic for 8 weeks to cure me. They were treating me for post-traumatic stress and psychosomatic disorder. I feel chronic pain, constantly confused and dizzy. But finding a therapist was hard, because in real life I will appear quite confident and rather smart. And one of my key issues is trust, because I felt betrayed by a lot of people back then, who didn't want to see how much I have been hurt, or just couldn't take care of me. So therapists didn't do, either. Maybe they felt I was too cocky or something, just too much of a struggle. So after 7 or so attempts I decided that I was better off trying on my own. And I did, but with my friends gone I was rather isolated. Retreated to myself, got lost in music, books, whatever. Made a living somehow as a private teacher, my students all respecting me, since really I am still a positive person, wanting to benefit others. But I struggle greatly, mostly because of the chronic pain which I try to overcome with lots of Yoga, but it's a very long process. And I was very happy that I found two new friends, but now I need to question those friendships and it's almost killing me. It seems like I only have been able to uphold them because I kept my composure, but as soon as I am showing a bit of my "real self" they shy away in disgust. There is not one second when they don't remind me of needing to keep my demons in check and to "perform" well, or else they won't invite me to any of their social events. At the beginning I really believed I wasn't worthy, but as time passed I learned that they even prefered to keep me isolated, since whenever I was at a social event I thrived, and they became jealous of me. They then emphasized their own problems, how I try to just get the center of attention, and it's really unfair because I always listen to their problems and really, having suffered from what I have it doesn't compare, yet they don't care. They want to be at top of everything, feeling no true empathy with me at all. So I decided to end it, because it was only hurting me. Now I feel even more isolated. I needed those friendships, and I cannot accept that they have only been superficial. That again I am better off on my own. That I need to be strong, and even stronger, and hide my trauma. But I will never be able to confront it that way. I will never be able to really trust again. Should I accept that humanity is really like that? Or is there a chance that I can keep my own self, my "soft spot", my true feelings? I don't know. I am just posting this here because I feel rather desperate. I send love to all of you who may feel the same.

Growing up WE have been taught traditional morals that were fitting for that time benefitting our parents/caregivers as the world turns and WE have grown became more knowledgeable of the things that benefits US most
A lot of tradition WE were taught wasn’t Always right and most of it didn’t work only left us Broken and Confused #Respect #Selfrespect
DO WHATS BEST FOR YOU

I’ve come to a point in my life where if people choose to hurt or leave me, I either change their significance to me or let them go. The relationship/friendship is never the same. Why would I try to return to them when they smashed it so much that I can’t put the pieces back to see what we had? It’s not worth my time. They didn’t respect it or were wise enough to just leave it as it was...nobody destroys things if they truly value it. I can’t make someone understand the damage they did when they didn’t care to think about the damage before they broke everything. And the worst part is that they had no reverence for the memories and emotions that were developed to at least preserve what was created between us as a memory. So I leave them there to gather up the broken pieces which they reduced it to because it’s their mess they created. I am not a maid for people’s screw ups and stupidity. If they are stupid enough to go through the insanity of putting the millions of pieces back together then I will let them go crazy.