Yesterday was a really mixed day, I had a great time chatting with and slowly working on stuff on the other side of the house (I just moved in to my new duplex, where I live on one side and my family the other) with my amazing partner and two friends. I am truly blessed to have such great people in my life. 💜
I have been pushing very hard with both getting my new house ready and getting my old house ready to go on the market to sell it. After my friends left though, my body decided it was time to shut down and I had a pretty scary medical crisis; luckily, my partner is very good under pressure and we were able to handle it. I don’t know though what would have happened had I continued to push today as I have been. 18 hour work days for a healthy person is a lot, never mind in this body. ￼￼It is hard to accept dying, but dying by wasting away is harder than I thought. My muscles are eating themselves and my bone mass is going as well; my ankle foot orthotics, knee braces and ring splints don’t fit anymore because I am literally wasting away. I just touch something and my skin bruises and tears. ￼My parts don’t stay in place (Ehlers Danlos); my fingers/toes/ribs/knees/hips sublux daily. My bloating is so bad that my skin/tissue is tearing on the inside. My pain is chronic and getting more intense. My heart and lungs are struggling and declining in function. That is just a sampling of all that my body is serving up. My body is saying no thank you and that sucks. I am stubborn and still want to do all of the things that I used to be able to do, but I can’t, and when I try, the consequences are very real.￼ Deadly real. I want to enjoy this beautiful new home I have for as long as I can get. Years, not days. So I have set out a plan to use timers to take breaks and have people holding me accountable.
As always, life is more good than bad. Despite all of the challenges, I consider myself incredibly lucky. I have amazing people in my life, awesome dogs, I am surrounded by beautiful nature, good food, great books, and new adventures to be had.￼￼
Thank you to all of you have chosen to follow me on this difficult journey, I know it’s not easy. I feel so blessed and loved. 💜
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#CeliacDisease #MitochondrialDisease #MastCellActivationDisorder #Trauma
#RaynaudsDisease #MentalHealth #Depression
#ChronicIllness #Disability #dying #RareDisease #rarediseaseawareness #Chronicpainwarrior #ConnectiveTissueDisorder