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New Job #MentalHealth #Anxiety #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BipolarDisorder #Jesus #scaredtodeath

Well tonight I start my new Job and I’m super nervous 😬 because I want to do a good job. I’m so freaked out about it and I can’t calm myself down.

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Sleep in the Storm

There are strong storms forecasted for our area for Sunday. I am praying that they will not be like the storms that hit our region in March. Two out of the three early spring storms that blew through caused us to be without power for multiple days.

There are storms that pop up in our lives like a pink slip, a diagnosis, a broken down vehicle, or a disrespectful teenager. I know these storms in our lives are hard to weather. You may have family or friends or you may live by yourself, but you are NEVER alone. Jesus is there to guide you through whatever storms that may cross your path.

“Let the thunder be my comfort, let the lighting be my guide. Let the waves that rise around me hold me gently through the night. For the winds that seem against me, push me right into Your arms. Teach me how to sleep in the storm.” - chorus from Unspoken (Christian Rock Band)

#storms #Jesus #Christian #mentalhealthmatters

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Sleep in the Storm

There are strong storms forecasted for our area for Sunday. I am praying that they will not be like the storms that hit our region in March. Two out of the three early spring storms that blew through caused us to be without power for multiple days.

There are storms that pop up in our lives like a pink slip, a diagnosis, a broken down vehicle, or a disrespectful teenager, or a mental illness. I know these storms in our lives are hard to weather. You may have family or friends or you may live by yourself, but you are NEVER alone. Jesus is there to guide you through whatever storms that may cross your path.

“Let the thunder be my comfort, let the lighting be my guide. Let the waves that rise around me hold me gently through the night. For the winds that seem against me, push me right into Your arms. Teach me how to sleep in the storm.” - chorus from Unspoken (Christian Rock Band)

#mentalhealthmatters #Jesus #storms #Christian

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My Scars are My Tattoos

I do not have any body art, or what most people call tattoos. Several of my friends and family members do. I think their cool and would get one…if it didn’t hurt!

I do have other tattoos that go deeper than the skin. I have scars tattooed on my heart from my past. Before I was diagnosed with bipolar, my life was completely out-of-control. I have done things and said things that I am very ashamed of doing and saying.

The story doesn’t end there. I know someone who has tattooed my name on the palm of His hands. Jesus. It doesn’t matter what I have done or said, He took it to the cross and there it stayed. The scars on my heart are still there, but they are covered with His blood.

Your scars, whatever they may be, are covered with His blood, too. Just accept Him as God’s one and only Son.

#Bipolar #mentalhealthmatters #god #Jesus #savior #cross

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God Sings Over You

God will rejoice over you with gladness, He will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing. Zephaniah 3:17

Did you know that God sings? Did you know that He sings over you? Yes! No matter what you are going through yesterday, today, and tomorrow God is singing over you.

The Bible doesn’t tell us exactly what God sings over us, just that He does. If I were to guess what He is singing over me right now, it would be for me to be at peace. He is singing a lullaby that calms my anxiety and lifts my mood.

What is God singing over you today?

#mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #god #Jesus #Singing

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The Unexpected Gifts from God

Every good and perfect gift is from God. James 1:17

God made this morning’s sunrise for us to enjoy. The laughter of children is a sound that brings parents adoration. The male cardinal eating at your birdfeeder displays the wonderment of God’s creation for us to appreciate.

All we need to do is recognize that all that is around us is a good and perfect gift from God for us to experience. Take time to look around you and relish the beauty of all the gifts that God created for you to relish.

Sometimes when I am feeling depressed, one of God’s gifts will come to my attention. I will see one of my sweet babies peacefully asleep and feel the love I have for them well up in my heart. I maybe outside with my three pup-dogs and I am laughing out loud at their playfulness. The other day I saw a blue jay soar through my backyard and I was amazed at his beauty.

When I stop to notice God’s gifts, the symptoms of my mental illness seem to shrink away for the time being. Thank you Lord for loving me enough to give me such precious gifts.

#Depression #mentalhealthmatters #Jesus #god #Love #giftsfromgod

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My Life of Cycling

Boy has this week been a humdinger! Fits of rage, the highs of mania, and the pit of depression and back again. Actually, this is my norm but it just felt more intense than usual.

I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday. I told her that at the beginning of my mental health journey, the highs and lows would seem to come out of nowhere and I was pissed off. It took me several years to come to terms with the fact that the rollercoaster is always going. There is no off-season. It never shuts down.

She and I talked about how to sort of go with the flow. Know that it is going to happen and be okay with it. I told her that I ride the high as long as I can and take advantage of it.

She suggested that I have some ideas of what to do to when I fall into the pit of despair.

The one thing I know to be true that no matter what, Jesus is with me. Whether I am high as a kite or as low as I can go, He is there walking beside me.

The funny thing is that the ultra-rapid cycling is almost a blessing. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. I have more highs than I do lows. One of my dearest friends has severe major depression. She is in bed more than she is out of bed. When she has a good day, she hangs onto it with dear life because she knows it is fleeting.

I say my ultra-rapid cycling is a blessing because I could be on the flip side where the depression is more frequent and lasts longer than the hypomania or mania.

What about you? Do you experience more mania than depression or is it the other way around? What do you do to cope with cycling?

#bipolarcycling #Bipolar #Depression #Mania #Hypomania #mentalhealthawarenss #Jesus #god

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A #mighty #ThankYou !!!

To all who prayed for me after my urgent request, I think, in early April, thank you sooooo very much! Believe it or not, I had 15 false accusations waged against me by a local government agency due to the words of one employee! Here’s the scoop:

Due to my Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI), I was on a medical leave unexpectedly longer than originally planned. My employer approved medical leave resulted in an unexpected and illegal termination. And because of the termination, I had to apply for short-term benefits. That agency viewed me as fraudulent based on an employee’s suggestion and my employer’s denial of my medical leave.

Long story short, to clear my name, and qualify for short-term benefits, I eventually learned I submitted ninety plus pages of written documents and images showing I did indeed have an injury AND was on an approved medical leave from work. In spite of all of the paperwork, I was then subjected to multiple sessions before a justice to testify against the false claim held MYSELF. I basically served as my own attorney. Lord! But no fear 😧 s involved in this because the Lord simply allowed me to share the truth! Oh my, the entire month was extremely trying. And because of those accusations, I nearly lost my apartment because during the entire month of May, as I was unexpectedly dedicated to settling that matter, I had only $180.00s to my name! Yes, pray for my poor credit card debt!

Anyway, you #mighty folks, your prayers resulted in the Lord miraculously and surprisingly covering my rental fees and clearing the false accusations. Also, and more importantly, your prayers provided me the strength to continue to confront this very demeaning situation rather than succumbing to an absolute depressed state, which I was in when I first requested prayer in April. My TBI PTSD nearly tipped me over the edge, literally. So I thank you all sooo VERY MUCH!!!❤️

#Prayer & #power over #Depression & #Anxiety = #TheMighty #strength from our Ever-present #savior , #Jesus & #TheHolySpirit : #thelord !

Photo Credit: Google Search Isaiah 41:10: wesellphotos.

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I Hate Pill-Poppin’ Tuesdays

Every Tuesday night, I have to organize my medicine for the next week. I have over 20 different prescription and over-the-counter medicines, as well as supplements I take. Nearly half are prescribed.

On Tuesday night and every time I pop a handful of pills, I am reminded of my illness. If it isn’t the actual Rx, it is the medicine to counteract the side effects.

When I go out to eat, I always feel self-conscious that others are seeing all the pills I am taking. My paranoia kicks in and I wonder what they are thinking about me.

I remember a friend of mine from high school and college. She had a medicine organizer just like the one I have now. I don’t think she ever revealed why she was on so much medicine. That just amazed me when I was a teenager. I felt bad for her.

I would be so embarrassed if any of my friends knew the amount of medicine I take every day. When Tuesday night comes around or when I look at those pills I take at each meal and when I go to bed, I want to throw them all away. It is just another reminder that I am unwell.

In the end, I am thankful to those men and women who created those pills that keep me stable and healthy. I see them as the hands and feet of Jesus in my life. But for them, I would not be here today.

#mentalhealthmatters #Medicine #Bipolar #Depression #Anxiety #Paranoia #Jesus #god #Faith

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