invisibledisease

I have a really hard time because people think I’m fine, because you can’t see my disability. I have friends and strangers ask me why I don’t work, why I park in a disabled spot, etc. I literally have a hard time taking a shower and just plane “doing life.” Feeling frustrated
#Disability #invisibledisease

Feeling Multiple sclerosis
I want to be well
Please, I pray to heal me
Let me be me again.

I miss myself
I miss being healthy
I feel I'm dettererating
From inside out.

I was once a strong individual
Who was never scared to get back up
From crashing so hard to the ground
Now
Barley able to lift a single limb
Yet alone my body back up
Is detramental

To accept this new life
As good, as strength
Is not acceptable in my mind
My body deserves more

My soul deserves to be pain free
My life deserves to break these chains
Weighting me down with disease.

The constant battles
Of if I can or cannot
If so how long
What do I need to prepare for
Is waring thin.

I once wore scars proud
To show others how strong I was
Now my scars are all on the inside
Affecting my thoughts actions words and breath.

A little more each day
As each day new scars form
Never to show
Only for me to know.

I want to be well
Please alow me to be me
Again
To be judged no more
Of the shape
I am in.
#mswarriors #msfamily #Inspiration #innerstrength #invisibledisease #Awareness #innerstruggle #Spoonie #ChronicIllness #ChronicPain #Understanding #humanity #budaswarriors

Think about having no feeling
in your fingers, your toes or half of your body.
How does that feel?

Think about having no feelings
just one constant emotion
a new emotion
one that isn't happy but you only smile.
one where you are sad, but can only laugh.
one that doesn't allow any other true feeling or emotions.
how does that feel?

Think about being hungry
and only getting nauseous at the smell yet alone taste of food

Think about your favorite meal and one thing you would never eat to both taste the same.
How does that feel?

Think about when you want the volume up on the T.V.
but you can't because the volume is already blaring in your head.
How does that feel?

Think about wanting to tell someone a story about yourself
but not knowing the words to use or how to put a sentence together to deliver a proper conversation.

Think about knowing what you want to say in your head
but never being able to speak because by the time your thought gets to your lips you had forgotten it.
How does that make you feel?

Do you feel angered? Anxious? Humiliated?
or Do you feel misunderstood? or that others think your antisocial?
Do you feel misrepresented? or like crawling under a rock because you cannot do things as simple as speaking like you did before?
How do you feel?

How do you feel when it's all taken away?
When all you once had is now gone?

How do you feel when you try your hardest?
And your hardest is to weak to even make the smallest scratch in life?

How do you feel?

Tell me...

How do you feel?

It's an unprecedented event after years and years with the pain. This pain responded to no remedy, no therapy, no amount of will or passion inside me that could abate the torment. It turns itself on and off now, the off position giving me blessed reprieve, relaxation, and energy to keep stoking the fire of self-love by which I press earnestly forward into a quality of life I've only ever seen glimpses of in dreams.

The brain is creating new neural networks in alignment with a blueprint of recovery that means I can live with the pain and still be capable of knowing my wholeness. In the knowing I fill more space than I ever thought possible. I cultivate so many other aspects of myself now in service not only to my own healing but to that of others. I send all of you who suffer with chronic pain many blessings and much love today! I am with you in solidarity and full support. 💜

#invisibledisease
#Survivor
#Recovery
#ChronicPain

My body is battered
And so damn tired.
My brain is scattered,
Jumbled and quagmired.
I can’t feel anything.
My heart is numb.
Still I’m stunned by every sting.
And pain makes me succumb—

To these visions of dread,
Voices howl in my head,
I shatter into a billion pieces.
I build colossal stone walls,
Brace for plummeting falls,
But the ache in my chest never ceases.
And the hurt never heals or decreases.  

#MySymptoms#chroniclyme #chroniclillness #Migraines #ChronicPain #Fibromyalgia #invisibledisease