Irritability

Hi
Warning-
Nothing positive here. I just need to B*tch . Something abt putting my thoughts out to where other ppl may see them is a step above bitching to myself.
I feel like I hav no rt to complain. I feel hesitant to say anything at all. My daughter has ripped my head off abt me expressing my feelings to her- & now when i tread with trepidation around her, she verbalizes that i must hav PTSD from my sisters!!
This from the girl who literally screamed inches from my face- "Are u F*cking Crazy???!" Or "You're a self obsessed Narcissist"- me who spent my career in the helping fields.
This young woman who, after begging me to tell her if i ever felt suicidal- left me- after I mustered the ooomph to tell her I Was Suicidal, to go pour coffee at a Barrista job. This same girl who refused me sleeping on her couch when i was evacuated out of my home for 19 days due to Wildfires. This same girl who left me when I was afraid I might OD on some hash oil a friend had given me for insomnia. - when I was too messed up to move or use a phone- much less find a phone. This woman who threatened to leave me places, miles from home, never bothered to even call when i was stuck in 5 feet of snow in the mountains, with no heat for 12 days- this girl who has repeatedly stolen from me, gaslighted me, bullied me, lied about me- & destroyed the relationship between my son & I- THIS GIRL- Now suddenly loves her Mom????

I call BullShit- & just another set up to be kicked in the teeth.

She has destroyed my Family & very nearly Me- & she denies every last bit.

NOW she just had her 1st daughters birth. Of course I was there all thru it- but really it's the same old story-

It Hurts. & there are NO good answers.

Thanks to her, my son has nothing to do with me. He also gaslights & bullies if he's able.

As a Mom, I feel like I cant win. Anyone who hasnt been on the sidelines directly either Accuses me of being a. Monster Mom- or being a mealy mouthed Wallflower.

I assure you I am neither. But Im done defending or explaining myself to Anyone-

I dont know if the Gashing Wound thru my Heart- caused by my children's Cruelty, Indifference & lack of Love, Empathy or Concern will ever stop gushing Blood- much less heal.

AND NOW- the Ultimate Actress "doesn't remember" any of the truly horrific things she's said & done & wants to play "Devoted Daughter."

Well thing is, I DO Remember. The Wounds are still there. Some days it's hard to just breathe In & Out-

Like I said, nothin positive in my post today- but I just needed to "say it out loud" if u will- to somebody- AI, Virtual or whatever.

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#BipolarDisorder #Mania #Dysphoria #anger #Irritability

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#denial #coldturkey #Irritability #Psychosis

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I’ve been irritated this past week and I’ve read that irritability is a common bipolar symptom. I was wondering if any of you have felt the same way. Any feedback would be helpful. #Bipolar #Irritability #CopingTips

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