Needing some support/advice #BipolarDisorder
Let’s start with some background: as I’m sure many of y’all know or have experienced, figuring out medication with bipolar is no cake walk. I had terrible reactions to half a dozen SSRIs before anyone even thought “hey, maybe this person doesn’t have plain old depression. Let’s try something else.” And then I was allergic to the first two mood stabilizers they put me on (like deathly allergic). So when we finally found a medication I could take that worked and didn’t literally try to kill me, it was a huge relief. I have Bipolar I and, up till that point, I’d had no way of managing it, even aside from pharmaceuticals. Having a chemical mood stabilizer was amazing. My emotions were finally sorta “normal” — not alternating between “I am an immortal deity with ultimate power in this universe and beyond” and “my existence is so hopeless I might as well fade away into ghost-hood” with no in between. But there was one problem: now I felt disconnected. The medication dulled things so much I felt like I was experiencing the world through tinted glass — something I could see and hear, but couldn’t really feel, even physically, a connection to. Despite this problem, I knew that going off my medication would be far worse for my quality of life, so I kept on it.
Enter new information: I’ve been getting long, profuse, borderline dangerously frequent bloody noses consistently for months. Come to learn my mood stabilizer — the one that took over half a dozen tries to find — has been causing them. Now, excessive blood loss is not a good, so, three days ago, my meds dosage was reduced to start tapering off. And now my symptoms are reading their inconvenient heads. On the one hand, I’m finally feeling my creative spirit and connection to the energy of life again; on the other, I’ve never learned how to manage my Bipolar without medication and I’m having a lot of doubts about whether it’s even possible. So I need some help.
How have y’all managed or seen people manage Bipolar unmedicated? For those who’ve experienced withdrawal from tapering or going off medication, what are some ways you’ve managed the withdrawals and recurring symptoms? What are some ways to build support systems or some options for support systems that you’ve learned? I’d really appreciate any help y’all can give.
Much love ❤️