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I had a revelation
Meowdy everyone! I have a question or maybe I need advice, not really sure.
I’ve been doing some really good work with my therapist and had a thought, of course after therapy ended, that maybe I am not mentally equipped for one full time position/job. I’ve worked, mainly part time and had enough durring my 5 hour shift 5 days a week, combined with my side hustle where my brain had plenty of stimulation where I wasn’t dealing with the constant struggle to remain on task. I was able to focus, and in that period in my life I was accomplishing a lot of stuff. I also felt really good about myself.
However, recently, my mom who is apart of the generation where you literally get one job and stay there until you retire. She also apparently only sees me as insurance, or possibly only cares about insurance because that’s honest to god all she effing talks about! It’s SO frustrating!!!
Anyway, she has been pushing me to get a full time job. I have had two full time jobs over the years and they both ended horribly.
The first was a custodian job at a local high school, however apparently ever other employee at the school was to lazy to do anything else there for everything, including cleaning felt to us. Need a set up for an event? Call the custodians. Need that same event taken apart, again the clearly the custodians. To cheep to hired a crossing guard, let’s just slap a vest onto the custodians again. No one will know. The feild house/football feild needs to be cared for? Again the custodians. Matenence needs to be completed? Custodians again. And on top of all of this they expect us to also complete our normal tasks. And the lack of respect was outrageous! They expected all of this but kept demanding more and more and more. I could not keep up as well as this position was a huge trigger for my disabilities both mental and physical.
The next job I had, which I have talked about on here before. The supervisor lied and clearly just wanted a telemarketer/person he could dump things he didn’t want to do onto.
The job was marketed as a graphic design/video editing position. When in reality he never had plans for that. All I did was literally sit behind a desk for 8 hours a day watching YouTube and if I was lucky someone would call for help…maybe once a week mind you. Of course even rarer was when my supervisor would come in like a hurricane and dump some spreadsheet involving advanced knowledge in excel into my lap and then berate my about this and how i was struggling and it was taking me a while to accomplish. They also conveniently downsized on employees when I would start to receive help for my disabilities due to this supervisors inability or ignorance to my concerns as to what sorts of projects he was giving to me.
Since then I’ve been freelancing. And while I was enjoying the lack of a defined structure and schedule. I feel that I do need something more structured.
My solution I was thinking of based on my conversation with my therapist is that due to my disabilities perhaps a part time position on top of my side hustle is the answer. I am going to tell my therapist about this and ask her opinions.
However, I’m afraid to talk to my mom about this realization.
Here’s the newest head only commission I completed. This is apart of my side hustle.
#CheckInWithMe #MentalHealth #Disability #LearningDisabilities #Anxiety #Depression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #PTSD
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