Mania

Hi, my name is EchoesInRed. I'm here because...I'd like to learn from reading about the personal experiences of others and possibly share some insight from my own experiences... but sometimes we come to crossroads and no matter which direction you go from there it just doesn't matter. Time speeds up around us but seems to stand still. I'm not even sure that I'm in the right sort of place and have nothing to lose so before I waste anyone's time with my rambling I guess I should just get to the point. Although I've been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression,PTSD, topped off with a certain affinity for a few select alkaloids, it's not me that I'm concerned about these days. I have absolutely nobody to talk to about things and so of course no way to ask advice so that's why I'm here. So basically if there's anything here about being the spouse of someone with mental illness/undiagnosed and have advice about how to handle the unique situations that you encounter and how not to be constantly overwhelmed and doing it by yourself..that would be of great interest. It's been 5 years and every day always seems harder to make it through than the last. I hope I don't seem selfish but from dealing with her "issues" I've just about completely ignored my own and have just tucked it all away for the time being and put on the happy face and figure I'll deal with it someday. At this point I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. She was previously been diagnosed or possibly misdiagnosed, with Bipolar disorder but has since been experiencing new symptoms..like hearing voices. But she's afraid to be given a label such schizophrenia because of the stigma attached to it. She holds back and won't talk to her therapist about the voices...or the "microchip" she believes she has in her body and all the near magical abilities it seems to have. I would honestly give my life for her to get be happy again. Even a manic episode would be nice. Has anyone here dealt with this sort of situation? I mean, I have been doing anything I can to just survive each day but it's getting hard and I'm pretty sure that I could use a little advice

#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #BipolarDisorder #PTSD

Well, I did it again. Over shared. Is this anxiety?? Or mania? Or just plain lack of control ? I think anxiety- but could maybe be mania.

On fb my husband’s boss posted a picture of her 2 kids- saying they were her valentines 💘-
I liked the main picture. That wasn’t enough I went and liked each individual picture too ! There were about 5 or 6 pictures.

Granted: not the end of the world. But coupled w my post on the app in my area - where my husband’s boss lives too- it is quite excessive. On both counts. Oh no. Let it go.

Live and learn- I made a audience selection for future posts to exclude my husband’s boss. This doesn’t do anything for the app where I posted re a recent issue re a celebrity-

Working on letting both of these instances go. It takes a little time—
Hope you can bare w me in the event I may bring each or both of these instances up again- 🙁😟😔

Working on letting these instances go and staying off both fb and the app in my area for now.

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

Worked today. Had a difficult time as usual. Hard. Not as hard as it could be but for 73 soon to be 74 - w no children - seems to be not necessary-
But you know- when I come home i feel really good. I feel like i accomplished something. And this individual i work for is extremely wonderful.. so, hard to beat.

And btw- it was my therapist who encouraged me to drop the idea of me trying to negotiate a raise- I went w her opinion-
And today/ i think I was wrong- i should have negotiated/ I go to the library on my own time for this job- and I use my own funds to purchase supplies for this individual- i definitely should have negotiated-

Maybe that stint I did on that celebrity- TS- helped me to realize. - not to doubt myself.
Next time- if there is a next time-/

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymia and I had no idea what that was. A rare form of bipolar, but not as extreme. So, I have ADHD, mild anxiety and now cyclothymia.

I was recently diagnosed with cyclothymia and I had no idea what that was. A rare form of bipolar, but not as extreme. So, I have ADHD, mild anxiety and now cyclothymia.

I have anxiety so bad that i have to take medication for paranoia. I guess i don’t have to but to stay w my psychiatrist i do. She also prescribes anxiety medication.

I did something unlike me. I think I may have been a little overly excited- maybe one would say: manic. Maybe - not horrible- manic

But I posted on a very public website “ I am upset Taylor Swift got booed at the Super Bowl. She is the epitome of everything good.”

And I got a lot of negativity-not at first-

But then I said” for someone who is a big of a contributor and as good as a role model as Taylor swift is for women young and old : wives, sisters and daughters to be booed - is Wow!

And I got a lot of negativity

_after I said the second part-some one said they were a bunch of people drunk and having fun watching the Game- they would have booed Santa Clause- why are you so upset?

Then I responded-
I’m ok. I think it sad. And I think Taylor Swift is remarkable.

Then a said- a bad commentary

Then a said- a sad commentary-
Only 2 people hearted my comment re some who is such. A contributor-… Wow-

And only one person hearted that I was ok.

I realize after this - a few people in the general public care/. The people who care are youe family and friends-and hopefully a site like this.

I have issues w paranoia -bc i have a hard time interpreting things. I am afraid- that I come off being a sounding/ looney- emotional-

I called my friend- I asked her how it sounded/ she was not much help-

I think I am ok now- I painted a little-

But do you think what I said sounded emotional? Or too emotional-borderline-crazy?

I am certainly not bragging- but my life is good-now. For how long- I do not know.

One thing I do know my life has been s$$t much when I was younger and enough times in my life-
Now it is good! Maybe i should not shout to the rooftops- I don’t-
But today was a good day.
Do you call this manic?
Not me.
I call it simply my life is good ( today) - and i celebrate in a healthy way -

Yesterday-it simply was lacking

I feel tired and confused. But I am journalling and trying to do some meditation.

I'm feeling misunderstood and hopeless

I'm feeling misunderstood and hopeless