#BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression ##Bipolar1Disorder #Anxiety #CPTSD #meds #medsthatdontwork #MyalgicEncephalomyelitis #Fibromyaliga #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #CPTSDinrelationships #ChronicEpsteinBarrVirus #ChronicIllness #CPTSDinrelationships #sad #Trauma #Loneliness #Love #Art #god
Nobody told me I would be on medication for the rest of my life.
I’ve been arguing for about a year with my previous GP I needed to change my antidepressant as it was not affective anymore. She refused. Well I’ve moved new area new GP. Went to see her today, broke down told her everything, I mean everything!! So new antidepressant which might also benefit my fibromyalgia also which would be a bonus. So crossed fingers new Med will kick in quickly.
I was diagnosed in college wth generalized anxiety disorder and depression. I’ve been on meds for both Illnesses for years. When I feel they stop working, I tell my doctor and she either ups the dosage or gives me something knew. Recently I upped my dosage of Wellbutrin from 150mg once a day, to 300mg (150mg 2x a day). At first I felt different . Surely the initial side effects, but now I feel the same if anything more agitated, irritable, I snap at the smallest things and I have raging uncontrollable fits of anger more often than normal ...it’s only been 3 weeks.... my mom now thinks I might be bipolar instead ... and I kind of think she might be right but I really am not sure #confused
I have recently moved to another state. Far from the home I lived in for over 4 decades. Homesick is an understatement.
I am "bi polar". Or so they say. I have tried EVERY anti depressant, mood stabilizer there is. Besides the outrageous side effects, such as weight gain, I also have an eating disorder so those meds are out of the question. The others have made my depression worse. I have never contemplated suicide as much as I have now. I feel that my waste of life is just that. I have done nothing. Finished nothing. Have no degree. Depression is dibilitating at times. Anxiety has caused me to become borderline goraphobic. I am at a loss. I have no friends in the new place. I'm with family, but I don't let them know how miserable I am. So I've stopped the meds. Why bother? Lost interest in anything that used to make me happy. I pray to God that I wake up dead. Yet I awake daily. Pissed.
#MentalHealth
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