mentalhealthmatters

How much I want to end it all. I once believed that you had something in store for me, possibly something better, possibly something healing—that's why you wouldn't let my suicide attempts succeed. But I feel like you fail me every time I give my life's reins to you. Beloved, prove me wrong, please. You are the only one I can rely on. Help me. Give me salvation through death; give me the will to bring about my death. Give me hope that you are truly there for me. I am desperate. I want you, I need you. I desire death, and death I shall get. I've tried twice, but you stopped me. But now, I ask that you aid me.

I am scared to face the truth. It is scary to see how desperate I can get. Perhaps it was meant to be like this—good prevails over evil, and truth forces the liar to end themselves. I am not against it at all. After all, I did try to commit suicide. I am a coward, scared of the world seeing me for who I really am. But as they say, good forces always prevail. Now I feel like truth has plot armor. No matter how much I try to snuff it out at its core, it always remains. And now, even before it strikes, I can already feel just how much of me will remain after it.

Help me, my beloved. Hold me in your arms and strangle me to death so that you can take my soul to your eternal gardens, my love eternal. Free me from my bondage. You've stopped me twice already; now make my death yours. I am scared of this world, of its people, but I do love beauty. I have loved mankind, and I hold it all dearly, for it represents you. But I have to die. Good shall prevail, and evil shall be vanquished.

I can't say that I don't regret letting go of all I love, but history should repeat, and I should die. Kill me, beloved. Save me...#HealingJourney, #HopeInDarkness, #YouAreNotAlone, #FaithInStruggle, #mentalhealthmatters

#mentalhealthmatters #breakthestigma #HopeInDarkness #youarenotalone #innerhealing #Speakyourtruth #FindYourLight #emotionalwellness #ItGetsBetter #healingjourney #depressionawareness #strengthinvulnerability #CourageToContinue #selflovejourney #SurvivorStories It’s scary knowing the moment of truth is just around the corner. I’m terrified—there’s too much to face. I’ve thought about death a lot and wondered if it would somehow set me free. But honestly, I don’t know if death is easy. I’ve tried to end my own life twice, and clearly, I failed both times.

The first time, I came home with what I thought was cold determination. I took a large overdose of antidepressants and tried to sleep. At first, nothing happened—I just lay there for hours. But then I started shivering uncontrollably. It wasn’t chills; maybe it was serotonin syndrome? I’d heard that could cause cardiac arrest. But instead of panicking, I forced myself to go back to sleep, hoping to never wake up. Of course, I did. And I was totally fine.

I’ve always been frail. My body’s been weak since birth. In anything physical, like sports, I always came in last. Even with such a fragile body, I somehow survived what should’ve been a deadly overdose. That shocked me.

Two days later, I decided to try a different way—slitting my wrists. I’d heard it would be painful, but I didn’t care. The need to escape was stronger than anything. So the next day, I picked up a knife and got ready to do it. But guess what? My body surprised me again. I was so weak, I couldn’t even press the knife hard enough to break my skin.

That’s when it hit me—maybe it just isn’t my time. Maybe God, or whatever higher power is out there, didn’t want me to die yet. Maybe my purpose in this world isn’t over.

To anyone else who’s been in this place, feeling like life is too much and wanting to escape: I know how hard it is. I know how much pain you’ve endured, probably more than most people could understand. But maybe—just maybe—we’re still here for a reason. Surviving doesn’t make us cowards. It takes strength to keep going, even when we’re exhausted by life.

If no one and nothing but some higher force is stopping you, maybe there’s something left for you to discover. Something waiting for you. I don’t know what it is yet—but perhaps that’s what we need to find out.

Introduction:

Hi, I am part of the MBBS undergraduate journey. I faced many hardships and challenges during this journey, and I would like to share one of my personal secrets and former insecurities. I never used to talk about it with anyone. I worried about what others would think and feared they would judge me or leave me behind, making me feel alone. This is about my "anxiety issues." Not just simple anxiety, but a specific subtype.It was in 2022 when I first felt the symptoms. At that time, AI was on the rise, so I entered my symptoms into an AI bot, which suggested that I had anxiety and needed medical care. I sought medical help, and slowly, over time, my anxiety started improving. Many people with anxiety suffer in silence, not reaching out for help, or those who receive proper treatment do not talk about it much. In this modern time, no one talks about our mental problems. So, I feel compelled to share my experience in hopes that someone else might find help.

My Experience:It was my decision to seek medical help. At first, I had many questions swirling in my head: Why me? Why am I the only one affected? Will the medical help work for me? Will the treatment decrease my mental stability or my mind's retention? Will I need electroconvulsive therapy (ECT)?But hold on, after the first day, all my doubts disappeared, and I felt much better after the first counseling session. My doctors advised some investigations before starting medications. After the investigations, I attended my second counseling session. My doctor clearly explained that the medication was to be taken on an emergency basis and would not affect my mind or mental stability.After the first or second counseling session, I felt significantly better as my anxieties began to disappear, allowing me to enjoy life more easily. Sometimes, I feel lucky that I self-diagnosed the problem and sought medical help before the condition worsened.

Support System:My support system included my psychiatric doctor and their strategies. My doctor gave me ample time during counseling sessions to speak about everything that bothered me, whether it was related to my friends, class performance, or other issues. My doctor used therapy sessions to address my anxieties.Additionally, my support system included my soul sister. She had no idea what anxiety was or how I felt, but she listened to everything I said and comforted me, assuring me that everything would be fine. My family also provided support by offering comfort and understanding.

Coping Strategies:My doctor recommended a novel to help me overcome my anxieties. She even bought the novel for me. Reading it thoroughly gave me insights into various coping strategies. The strategies that worked for me included:

- Affirmations

- Diverting my mind from constantly worrying about others' opinions

- Avoiding perfectionism

- Shame attack exercises

Most importantly, accepting that I had a problem and believing that I could overcome it

Message of Hope:I always thought that overcoming anxiety was a huge task, but accepting the problem and believing in my ability to overcome it made the process easier, though not easy. Great things take time. There were times when I felt extremely anxious and hopeless, but I would recall my support systems and reach out to my sister, who would help me get through those moments. Remember, mental problems are internal and invisible to others. It's essential to gather strength within yourself and stay happy.Awareness:I once read that people often care about what is visible, focusing on physical health while mental issues go unnoticed. When untreated, they can progress to something more severe than expected. So, if you feel something is wrong, seek medical help as I did, without delay.

Conclusion:In conclusion, people may not understand what is happening in your mind, so it's our duty to seek medical help if we are not feeling well. Don't feel sad; you are not alone in this journey. Many people neglect their mental health or avoid talking about it. Focus on what you want and remember to stand up for your mental health. If I can help, feel free to reach out to me.#overcominganxiety #anxietyawareness #overcominganxiety #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #togetherwecan #breakthestigma

Defining your mental health journey is crucial as it provides a clear framework for understanding your experiences, setting realistic goals, and tracking progress. This self-awareness fosters personal growth, resilience, and the ability to seek appropriate support, ultimately enhancing overall well-being.

As a personal example, one way I defined my mental health journey is by not letting other people find where I go for support or whether or not they take medication, even though I do take medication. What’s a something you do or something, you would like to work on in order to find your mental health journey?

Simple Ways to Empower Ourselves to Define Our Mental Health Journey

#ADHD #ADHDInGirls #MentalHealth #mentalhealthmatters #Anxiety #Depression #Addiction #SubstanceRelatedDisorders