It’s been a while
Hey, so I turned 26 on the 31st of March. And I seriously thought I’d be further in a year since my divorce from an abusive narcissist. I’m not sure what to do at this point, I cannot hold a job. I have severe mental breakdowns at every interview… I’ve been diagnosed with ptsd, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, and dissociation. The place I recently tried to work, I took a mental health day because pulling into the parking lot I had a mental breakdown and couldn’t stop crying. And my boss said “ everyone has mental health problems, what makes you any different “ well I’m aware and I completely acknowledge that everyone deals with their own mental health issues, and they do it in their own ways. I can’t deal with mine the same way the next person deals with theirs.
It was suggested that I started going through menopause at age 20 or so. I had endometriosis, pcos, when I had a period. I’ve also been diagnosed with hypothyroidism.
I only take medication for the hypothyroidism, I stopped taking the mental medications for numerous reasons. Mainly because they weren’t helping, and I tried many over the course of 2 years. So my fear is that my mental state is because of my hormones and no one really knows what’s going on with my hormones.
The medicine for my thyroid works then stops working, my endocrinologist refuses to believe I’m menopausal . He’s still trying to get me to have a period but my body refuses.
I’m so lost, my parents act like they understand what’s going on, but when I told them I had a mental breakdown which was hard for me to do because I fear failure and telling them that, I didn’t want them to get mad at me.. well they said “you just started that job?”
I can’t sleep, and when I can, I wake up and I do not feel rested, I’m not hungry/thirsty (I do eat), I’m tired, and weak. My cognitive function and memory is getting worse every day, I tell people it’s like I’m 70-80 years old living in a 26 year old body.
I don’t understand why I’m like this, I don’t know what’s causing what. I just want it to stop long enough for me to breathe.
#Endometriosis #PTSD #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder #Anxiety #PanicAttacks #Mentalbreakdown #AnxietyAttack #PolycysticOvarySyndrome #Amenorrhea #DontUnderstand #lost #AbuseSurvivors #Narcassism #hormoneimbalance