nonepelepticseizures

I’m heading out on my first big trip since my seizures started, and I’m super nervous. Tomorrow, my mom, my sisters, my niece, and I are going on a Mommy-Daughter/Granddaughter trip to Vancouver, B.C., where we’re embarking on a four day Disney Cruise. While part of me is absolutely thrilled to be travelling again, another part is gibbering in terror. I’m terrified of having seizures, of having an anxiety attack, and I’m terrified of feeling trapped. Despite all that, I’m also determined to do this! Travelling is too much a part of who I am to give it up, and I refuse to let my limitations hold me back. So... here’s to facing my fears and grabbing the bull by the horns! #Seizures #nonepelepticseizures #Anxiety #PTSD #Fear #fight #keepgoing #live #Travel #YouCanDoIt

Gnawing, pulling, like the smell of a lover you can't resist… Touch me one more time, help me escape what I don't want to feel. Life.. like God's f*ked up joke. “He's holding you, guiding you through this pain, when he doesn't answer is when he's guiding you the most”. Abandoned, betrayed, faltered, this is when I need to hear your voice the most!
Those who suffer with mental issues are God's most “beloved children”. You choose the deepest darkest path to conquer, and the angels sing your praise the most… What the hell??!!!! I've held on to you, we radiate hope! We're the ones who believe in you the most!
Now you say I chose this life, to learn the greatest lesson, a lesson most will choose to forgo… But we are the strongest in your book of woe. We are your fallen angels that will be exalted. Promises that we will reign on the other side because we chose the lesson to separate, alienate, walk through hell, so you can boast. We live in fear, we hide because the norm will never be what we know.
So many that have checked out before their time because we could no longer hold on. The judgement we bare, the wispers from the daft. “But you don't look sick?” As we smile through the pain that runs so excruciatingly deep. Others call us selfish and weak. Constantly we just pray for relief. Empaths a lot of us are. So messed up because truth is all we feel, the world's pain magnified by our own is what we reap.
We're trying, were holding on for one last breath, or the start of our first, what's real, what's younique. We are the abandoned ones, your light always, always we seek. Having hope and faith is really the only thing that keeps most of us above ground.
Where the f*ck are you God!!?? When are souls continue to practice what you preach. Where are you Lord? Where are you Lord?…. Holy shit, I'm exhausted… Please just bring the darkness, please, just once let me sleep….
#god #Pain #Prayer #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD #nonepelepticseizures #Love #Suicide #Sleep #Stigma #strength #resiliance #Hope #Faith #Truth