overstimulation

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What am I going to do…? New apartment situation | TW parents, kids, mentions of being threatened from past hotel experience, emotional abuse trauma

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So I’ve finally moved in with my dad to get away from the traumatic experiences from living with my mom, and my sister and my sister’s kids who have moved out already.

One of the reasons I wanted to move out is to get away from the noise my nephews (especially the youngest one) were making which drove me crazy and get very overstimulated often… but here, we live on the first floor and for a while we’ve noticed that our walls suck. And guess what, a kid’s up there, too. Our neighbors upstairs noise is super noticeable, we can hear their footsteps good enough, even in the mornings. It doesn’t matter where we are in the apartment, we can still hear everything pretty well. And it’s annoying, especially when I’m still trying to sleep or even when going to sleep at times. And in the mornings, they’re one of the causes for negative thoughts, whether that’s in general or about my past, and I’m already ticked off for the morning.

I know that this is only temporary and are planning to move into a house next year, but this sucks. We never asked for this. I can’t go back to where I used to be and I refuse, I’m done with dealing with my mom’s overcompensation and just remembering that was where the continuation of emotional and some verbal trauma took place since 2014. I’m also terrified of hotels now because I had a misunderstanding on when to leave and a security guard threatened to call the police on me if I didn’t make it out in time, leaving me in tears and so much anger and felt like this city hated neurodivergent individuals or something!!

I tried noise canceling headphones, I’m trying earplugs (even really good ones!), I tried my white machine, but I’m still too sensitive to the noise and it still leaves me with negative thoughts in the mornings sometimes. And I was hoping to move into a place where I didn’t had to do that anymore!!

My dad said that he’ll try talking to the neighbors upstairs again, but I honestly don’t think there’s much that can be done, and I feel like I’m always talking to him about this every weekend. What if the neighbors upstairs just don’t care? And especially since summer break will be coming up for them, I’m scared… not to mention that I hate summer because of the freaking bugs that tend to overstimulate me as well if I’m outside for too long.

Is asking for peace and quiet so much to ask for?? It’s bringing me in tears.. /rhetorical question

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #emotionaltrauma #overstimulation #overstimulated #apartment #moving #OSTD

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Scratchy Soul

I'm very tired today, and when I don't get enough sleep I find myself very susceptible to depressive and anxious moods and emotional numbness.
Today is interesting, though. I do feel depressed, but I'm also feeling something that hasn't happened before. When I walked into my university building, it was like my soul got scratchy. Thats the only way i can think to phrase it. I felt anxious and fidgety and too hot and a but overestimated, even though I had my headphones on with music going. I just turned off the music and that helped a but, but I've never had my environment affect me so much before. It wasn't even anything specific about it, just walking through the door made me feel as though my soul itself was rejecting the place, or was rejected by the place? If that makes sense?
I don't know. I'm feeling a bit better now, still not 100%, but I wonder what brought this on.
Has anyone else ever felt that way and knows why? Because I'm at a loss here.
#Anxiety #MentalHealth #Depression #overstimulation

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Sensory Overload - very loud retail workspace

I work at a glasses store and we use a machine to make lenses on site that can be unbelievably loud at times.
Have you used a noise cancelling product that still allowed to to talk on the phone? If so please let me know... I'm all ears! (Hehe) #overstimulation #SensoryOverload #loudnoise #Anxiety #question #soundsbotherme

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