overstimulated

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What am I going to do…? New apartment situation | TW parents, kids, mentions of being threatened from past hotel experience, emotional abuse trauma

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So I’ve finally moved in with my dad to get away from the traumatic experiences from living with my mom, and my sister and my sister’s kids who have moved out already.

One of the reasons I wanted to move out is to get away from the noise my nephews (especially the youngest one) were making which drove me crazy and get very overstimulated often… but here, we live on the first floor and for a while we’ve noticed that our walls suck. And guess what, a kid’s up there, too. Our neighbors upstairs noise is super noticeable, we can hear their footsteps good enough, even in the mornings. It doesn’t matter where we are in the apartment, we can still hear everything pretty well. And it’s annoying, especially when I’m still trying to sleep or even when going to sleep at times. And in the mornings, they’re one of the causes for negative thoughts, whether that’s in general or about my past, and I’m already ticked off for the morning.

I know that this is only temporary and are planning to move into a house next year, but this sucks. We never asked for this. I can’t go back to where I used to be and I refuse, I’m done with dealing with my mom’s overcompensation and just remembering that was where the continuation of emotional and some verbal trauma took place since 2014. I’m also terrified of hotels now because I had a misunderstanding on when to leave and a security guard threatened to call the police on me if I didn’t make it out in time, leaving me in tears and so much anger and felt like this city hated neurodivergent individuals or something!!

I tried noise canceling headphones, I’m trying earplugs (even really good ones!), I tried my white machine, but I’m still too sensitive to the noise and it still leaves me with negative thoughts in the mornings sometimes. And I was hoping to move into a place where I didn’t had to do that anymore!!

My dad said that he’ll try talking to the neighbors upstairs again, but I honestly don’t think there’s much that can be done, and I feel like I’m always talking to him about this every weekend. What if the neighbors upstairs just don’t care? And especially since summer break will be coming up for them, I’m scared… not to mention that I hate summer because of the freaking bugs that tend to overstimulate me as well if I’m outside for too long.

Is asking for peace and quiet so much to ask for?? It’s bringing me in tears.. /rhetorical question

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #MyAutismIsNotADisability #Anxiety #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #Trauma #emotionaltrauma #overstimulation #overstimulated #apartment #moving #OSTD

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I’m scared and done with this society… does anyone even care…? | TW mentions of police, family, swearing, some all caps, possibly ableism?

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Being autistic feels like a fucking crime these days.

I was staying at a hotel because was about to lose my fucking mind staying at home with my youngest nephew making a lot a noise constantly throughout the day. What my dad said earlier about check-out, I’ve misinterpreted, but he fully apologized and takes full responsibility as he should’ve made it clearer.

I was getting ready to check-out, but it was an hour later because I was getting ready to check-out. Security came to my door and said that I needed to come out, and I told them that I was just getting ready to leave. Packing as fast as I possibly could, they came back again and threatened to call the police on me if I didn’t get out of there soon. I literally told them that I was packing as fast as I could and that I had an appointment an hour after the check up time (and I couldn’t reschedule or else my mom would have to pay over $100 for canceling ,and I didn’t want to do that to her!) … and of course they did care about that last part.

Pissed off, I left the hotel in tears and placed the card keys at express check out. I wanted to complain, but I didn’t bother because I was just so mad and honestly scared for my life.

My dad told me that the police part is just something they say to get others out. If this is a fucking neurotypical norm, I want to let you know: 1) I HATE being pressured or someone trying to rush me and 2) I HATE being FUCKING THREATENED, especially regarding something TO DO WITH THE POLICE! Are you kidding me?!?!

Society SERIOUSLY needs to know how traumatizing and/or stressful that is to hear for neurodivergent individuals who 1) completely misinterpreted what check-out restrictions mean, 2) are trying their fucking hardest to do something in time, and 3) LITERALLY MEAN NO FUCKING HARM!!!!!!!

Now, I’m fucking scared to even go outside anymore. I feel like society just doesn’t want me. I feel like society just sees me as a criminal, or just sees my autism as criminalistic.

I know I was overstimulated earlier with my younger nephew, but I’d rather deal with this and possibly lose my mind than be FUCKING THREATENED TO HAVE THE POLICE ONTO ME!

#IsThisAbleism #MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety #NeurotypicalNorms #StopThis #Police #overstimulated #Norms #scared #Stress #Society #venting #Vent #triggerwarning #MentalHealth #Ableism

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Triggers, pet peeve responses, and being overwhelmed | TW swearing, family

For my mental health sake, I sincerely ask if you could please censor c*v*d-19 (o, i) or the other words, p*nd*mic (a, e), and q**rantine (ua) or leave them out entirely before posting any comments. Thank you, you’re the best!
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Before I say anything, I just want everybody to know that I am not intending to be/sound rude when I say any of this.

Saying that “well, *trigger word* is not going to go away” or “it is what it is” are the least helpful things you can say to someone with triggers, because to me, it feels like you’re saying “welp, you’re screwed for the rest of your life” and for the latter “I simply don’t care”, even if you’re not intending to sound that way.

Yes, I still have these words as my triggers everyday. It still brings me flashbacks whenever I fucking hear any of the words and how much of a sad life I’m still in (and I already have mostly negative views about society) because I unintentionally drag myself into that very sad period of 2020 and beyond.

I’m trying to work this over with my therapist, but I haven’t because there’s a thousand things that happen with me and are on my fucking mind everyday, and if not everyday, then most days (traumatic flashbacks, being overstimulated by youngest nephew constantly, stress dreams, trying to make time for all 7 of my queerplatonic partners (yes, it’s healthy, non-romantic, and consensual) and trying to be perfect around them all the time (I should probably stop doing that), waiting to move out of here already into a more safer and quieter environment, extreme social dysphoria as a non-binary individual, etc. etc.)

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #SocialAnxiety #Trauma #Anxiety #triggers #normalizetriggerwarnings #overstimulated #overwhelmed #triggerwarning #venting #LGBTQIA #MentalHealth

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To those who get overstimulated, have you ever just yelled/screamed at the situation from being overstimulated? | TW Yelling

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I’m scared to share this in fear to be seen as rude or toxic.. I swear I’m not, but I always regret yelling “shut up!” whenever I hear conflict and when I’m already very overstimulated. I hate yelling, and I don’t want to yell at others. I hate it. But whenever I do it, it’s never towards specific individuals, just the situation in general. I try my hardest not to yell out loud, but sometimes no matter what I do, it slips and yell “just shut up!” with tears strolling down my face.

I’m very scared that this is going to come off as me being toxic, rude, ignorant, or whatever other negative term. I don’t want to be seen that way, and I don’t want it to make it seems like I’m yelling at others, because I — hate — that so much and I feel like a terrible individual and that I deserve pa1n (i).

Also I’m otherkin, so I kindly ask to please not refer to me as human /genrq

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #overstimulated #SocialAnxiety #Conflict

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I should’ve known 😑😑😑😑😑 | TW Family, president problems (particularly in the US), one swear?, mention of misgendering #venting

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I bet the nephews are home today (again 😞) because of President’s Day. I can’t even get some dang peace and quiet in this dang house, not even a full week anymore, so I’m leaving out this dang house (again. Seriously, I just wanted to relax today 😞😞).

And what’s so good about the damn day anyway? I mean I get that they run everything and all, and Biden’s better in other ways than our last horrible good-for-nothing president, but he refuses to defund the police even though he believes in Black Lives Matter, he’s pro-Israel, I’ve heard he once thought to make homelessness illegal, etc.

Also, our government just plain sucks, they can’t see that non-binary identities exist (until like 2025), 1000% of the time I always get misgendered by higher authority (which pains me a lot inside), I got taken off of social security because they seriously thought that I can work no problem (which, I’ve said plenty of times, I cannot for a vast multitude of reasons) and had to face my autism being called a disability throughout the entire time (which I despise), the list can go on and on. This is the entire reason I’m an anarchist, can’t we just depend on ourselves for our rights instead of the government who barely even knows you? /rh

#Autism #Anxiety #Family #unfair #President #nonbinary #sad #overstimulated

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Can’t I have a full week of morning and afternoon quiet? | TW Family, one swear, one moment of ableism #venting

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This is starting to get on my nerves.

Can’t I just have a full week of quiet when my nephews are at school? Like how it’s - supposed - to be?? My youngest nephew had a fever and had to stay home for three days, so it doesn’t count, I’m disregarding that (please nobody mention the other virus name, it’s a trigger to me). But why are they always home on a Friday now??

But if next week doesn’t happen, I’m going to go crazy. I just wanted a - full - week of more quiet time, Monday to Friday. And it hasn’t happened since the middle of last month, and it freaking irritates me. And no, there’s absolutely nothing my sister can do about it. I just have to wish to move out of here faster. This is freaking bothering me. Why does this have to happen????

I’m so sick of listening to that same YouTuber in the living room background who I don’t even fucking like (because they said the r slur twice one time, and yes I know that you can still enjoy the content without supporting the creator or their actions/beliefs, it exists. That’s my oldest nephew’s situation. But ugh, I couldn’t even do that).

I just want to walk out of my room without worrying to put on headphones every single time. Can’t that just happen more often?!

#Autism #Anxiety #sad #Family #School #ijustwantedsomequiettime #fml #overstimulated

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It’s funny how I don’t mind it, but my autism hates it | TW Family #venting

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My nephews have been home since last Wednesday, and today is Sunday morning for me, and I’m this close to having a headache just from them being here.

I wish I couldn’t get overstimulated from this. I feel bad for it.

But I swear, I’m leaving out this house tomorrow to go somewhere else if they stay home another day, I can’t take this. I think I’m just going to start doing that for now on because I can’t.

I really hope to move out before their summer break 🙏

#Autism #Anxiety #overstimulated #Family

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…Why today? | TW Family, swearing, brief mention of reading transphobia #venting

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Why? Why did my nephews had to be home today?? Just why?? I swear I love them, but my autism - says - why??

Now I’m planning to just leave out for today. I’m so sick of this shit. I’m so sick of being overstimulated like this.

And why does it always have to be on the same day as my therapist appointment? It’s not like I can reschedule because then we would have to pay $100 just for fucking rescheduling this late.

Screw it, I’m still leaving early and having the online appointment elsewhere. I don’t care how cold it is or whatever, I’m going.

What a shit first day of the month. First it’s me being triggered and crying last night because of accidentally reading transgender violence statistics and was scared for my life because I’m trans nonbinary, now it’s my nephews being home. 😑😤

#anger #Autism #why #ihatethis #overstimulated #Anxiety

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I feel so tired.

Trying to come out of dissociation and my mind and body are wrecked by over stimulation. I've been in dissociation consistently for over 15 years. I can't remember all of my trauma and I have dissociative amnesia. It's all been getting worse. I thought I had a handle on my symptoms but it was just that my brain was enveloping me in such a deep dissociative state that I didn't have much to have to fight. Now, its all hitting me at once. I don't know what to do or where to start. I feel utterly helpless and useless. I can't go into walmart without being overwhelmed and over stimulated. I don't know what to do. When I was told about the Mighty I felt a little bit of peace knowing there are others that are fighting mental health battles like me. I'm faced with anxiety and depression and trauma and ptsd. Thanks for reading

#Dissociation #Depression #Anxiety #overwhelmed #overstimulated #Depersonalization #Derealization #MentalIllness #Trauma #MentalHealth

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How do you explain sensory overload and meltdowns to others?

There are times where I have a hard time explaining what I go through when I’m feeling overstimulated and having a meltdown to others. Sometimes I’ll give the example of “You know the scene from Spongebob Squarepants where Mr. Krabs is overwhelmed and everything is spinning?” or I’ll say “Everything all at once.” If I think they’re not going to “get it,” I simply say, “It’s complicated.” When it comes to my meltdowns, I feel as though I’m unable to find my voice…as if something has snatched it away from me. I feel all my senses going haywire and withdraw into myself.

How do you describe your sensory overload and meltdowns to others? I’d love to know.

#TheNeurodiverseCrowd #CheckInWithMe #Autism #ADHD #SensoryProcessingDisorder #SensoryOverload #overstimulated #Meltdown #AutismMeltdown #Neurodiversity #DistractMe #52SmallThings #actuallyautistic #actuallyautisticadult #AutisticAdults

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