Parent

My mother is on hospice and most likely isn't going to be with us much longer. She adopted me from her baby sister since she wasn't able to have kids of her own. She wasn't the perfect mother, but she did the best she could and I like to think I turned out alright. 21 year marriage (been together since we was 15) have 2 kids by him and only him. Shes lived a long hard life. All she's known is struggle and not knowing where to turn. A very hardworking big hearted women. And now it's almost her time to rest and be at peace. She's in so much pain. But I can't fathom the thought of living in a place where she doesn't exist. She's always been there, in more ways than I can think of. I'm finding it very hard coping with this. I was a career CNA and this is what I did for a living. But it's nothing absolutely nothing the same when it's you're own parent. I've got myself back in meds but they don't seem to be helping. I'm torn. I want to spend every sec I can of what I have left with her, but when Im there I want to leave because it causes so much pain to see her like this. #Parent #SayingGoodbye #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

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I've finally told my mom that after considering, I plan to move with my dad, and said that it had nothing against her. She was offended, she even said it, too. Continuously guilt-tripping me with words like "I do everything I can for you, and yet you still chose him over me."

I told her to stop guilt-tripping me and told her numerous times that it had nothing against her. She acted like she wasn't offended and understood my decision, but as someone with autism and whose mother has been mentally abusive for most of my life, I knew she was deep down. She denied that she was guilt-tripping, and has even accused me of guilt-tripping her when I said out loud that I then wanted to kill myself (out of stress, disbelief, and not wanting to deal with the pain anymore). Not to mention that I was just looking for ways to kill myself three days ago because of this stupid society. She even said something like "how can you get mad at me when everyone else in the world does that" when I mentioned that she used to fat-shame me, shame me for not taking showers at times and compared me to others, etc... she even denied that she even MOCKED me because she thought that I was offended, when really I couldn't hear her the first time, and I told her that, too!!

I don't fucking care if she started to talk in a more understanding matter and was no longer offended and acts like she actually cares about me (like she does every fucking time we have start an argument), I'm not forgiving her for saying those things. At this point, she doesn't deserve it. One of my queerplatonic partners (not friends, but not romantic) is now pissed.. well, every one of my partners are now pissed at her at this point, and are very glad that I chose to move in with my dad instead of staying with her. She has never changed when it comes to my dad. I'm honestly very disappointed that she even acted that way. I'm fucking 21 years old, a fucking adult who can make their own fucking decisions, and yet she still hasn't changed. 😞😡

I already don't like my (older) sister very much, either, because I always feel like she gaslights me whenever we get into conflict as well.

#MyAutismIsNotADisorder #Anxiety #Family #FamilyAndFriends #GuiltTrip #SocialAnxiety #moving #SocialAnxietyDisorder #Disappointed #MentalHealth #WOW #Parent #Parents #mentalabuse #Abuse #Siblings #Gaslighting

My 28 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with BPD & has a counsellor but she has so many memories that are false that I don’t see how anyone can help her based on what she is telling her Counsellor. She really believes that these memories are real & has cut her self off from the whole family. She has two daughters & I worry for their mental health. She is convinced that I’m the reason for her BPD even though her birth father was diagnosed with a Personality Disorder. How do you get through to someone with BPD who is adamant things happened in her childhood that we know for certain didn’t.? She seems to take other people’s memories & make them her own & has always told stories of things happening to her from being a child & was obsessed with wanting to live in a children’s home & would do things in the hope of me giving up on her which she knew I’d never do. She was referred to CAMHS at 12 when I found cutting equipment & suicide notes in her room but they never really helped her. She was 4 when I split from her father & her brother was 10 & he didn’t have much to do with either of them. I remarried when she was 6 & my step-daughter came to live with us when she was 12 which is when her behaviour got worse. As an adult she started seeing her father regularly but cut him off too as she said he didn’t take her mental health seriously & was only concerned with himself. We’ve always walked on eggshells around her as we were scared of what she’d do next. I miss her & my granddaughters terribly & just don’t know how to help her. Any advice would be helpful #Parent #adult #childwithbpd #