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False memories

My 28 yr old daughter has been diagnosed with BPD & has a counsellor but she has so many memories that are false that I don’t see how anyone can help her based on what she is telling her Counsellor. She really believes that these memories are real & has cut her self off from the whole family. She has two daughters & I worry for their mental health. She is convinced that I’m the reason for her BPD even though her birth father was diagnosed with a Personality Disorder. How do you get through to someone with BPD who is adamant things happened in her childhood that we know for certain didn’t.? She seems to take other people’s memories & make them her own & has always told stories of things happening to her from being a child & was obsessed with wanting to live in a children’s home & would do things in the hope of me giving up on her which she knew I’d never do. She was referred to CAMHS at 12 when I found cutting equipment & suicide notes in her room but they never really helped her. She was 4 when I split from her father & her brother was 10 & he didn’t have much to do with either of them. I remarried when she was 6 & my step-daughter came to live with us when she was 12 which is when her behaviour got worse. As an adult she started seeing her father regularly but cut him off too as she said he didn’t take her mental health seriously & was only concerned with himself. We’ve always walked on eggshells around her as we were scared of what she’d do next. I miss her & my granddaughters terribly & just don’t know how to help her. Any advice would be helpful #Parent #adult #childwithbpd #

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ME: The notorious "PUDDLE MAKER"

Here's a poem about my frustration...

Daily battle trying to chase & DRY the puddles I'm always making.

Thoughts to the tune of: Don't Worry BE HAPPY song! Published on my Vocal media page this morning.

#livingwithCP #lifemesses #adult WITH #CerebralPalsy

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The non-stop thrill ride of adulthood

Image: Black background with white text saying "I just got excited about a new scent of dish soap. Nobody warned me that adulthood was going to be such a non-stop thrill ride."

What is something that makes your adult self excited that your child/teenaged self would never have expected?

I get very excited about sleeping in freshly washed sheets. When I get new shampoo (even if it's exactly the same as my old one), I can't wait to try out the new bottle. 😁

#DistractMe #adult

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Self injury

#Depression #adult self injury
It is weird and I may be the only 50 years old on that boat. So it is weird, and lonely.
Nobody is going to confess "I cut myself" at my age....
I am not sure about my triggers. It can only be insomnia, self hatred, anger against the past.
The truth are: I hide it (well), so it is not attention seeking, as some believe; it calms me down; and I do need help, I know it.
It is a tornado of emotions, I stopped, then I am back. Sometimes it is a memory.... sometimes it is nothing.
Sometimes it is the ex-husband (still screaming and putting me down, like know, he is non-stop texting shit), sometimes is my despair as a failing mother.
It would be easy to blame and blame and blame. In the end, all choices I made were my choices. Hard is this lonely walk... hard is a doctor in the office telling me I need to loose weight, I need to stop hurting myself.
Shit, I am in the end of the shit hole right now....

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Another year

***PLEASE no birthday wishes***

Today is my 35th birthday. My age feels unreal. Sometimes I don't feel like an adult, a teenager, or a child - just floating in between ages, trying to figure things out and get by in life. I'm so tired of pretending I know what's going on and what I'm doing in life. I'm so tired.

#Birthday #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #Family #tired #adult

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What happens now?

I had a very intense talk with my family lastnight. I wish I could've recorded it. I'd put it on blast. Because it shows alot of stupidity. I got my point across. I told my folks I need space to be able to grow. It turned negative and I'm still in pain from my eyes from crying. Still feel tired. But I hope this outcry made them realize that I need to live for myself. And not be treated like a child. There were alot of triggers in the convo I even yelled because they yelled at me and even broke the #1 rule when talking to a suicidal person. Never tell them "if you want to die you want us to die" they made it about them. They also refused to help me get help for my mental health. Because they didn't want me to be labled. I dont care. My mental health is more important. All that aside. They saw that I was wanting to be more independent and given chances to go out with friends. I just pray and hope they allow me my freedom to grow and blossom. If not I think I'll have to move out and never see them again. #Talk #controllingparents #adult #Anxiety #SituationalDepression #SuicidalIdeation

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#healthymeanshappy #youreincharge

Sometimes we forget that we're in charge of our own lives and that it's okay to make decisions based on how we feel in the moment..

We don't always have to make the super healthy choices. It's okay to let our hair down sometimes and to do what makes us feel happy.

It's important to remember not to let those days rule us either and that healthy is always the best option, but if you don't feel like an apple, lime, kale, cucumber smoothy today, go for it! Have what you want, guiltfree and without hesitation.

Tomorrow we can #adult
again!
#haveawonderfulweek
#enjoythemoment
#Breakfree #findyourinnerchild #bemagic #healthymeanshappy
#youreincharge #beyou #innercalm #eatwell #livewell #Mentalhealthhelp #ucandounlimitedchange

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#mandalas #coloring #adult coloring books

During my stay in the clinic, I started coloring mandalas in occupational therapy. It relaxed me and so NOW I want to increase my level now because I enjoyed it a lot, too.

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#adult children

I am a mother of 3 adult children and grandmother of 5. I recently lost my relationship with daughter but slowly getting it back. My son, however, has not tried to get along with me for about 3 years. He's very judgemental toward me. He's rude, verbally and mentally abusive and controlling. I guess my question is do I try to mend our relationship or walk away