Pointless

This isn’t original, because it’s just sharing an article, but it is an article that gave me joy, and maybe it can do that for you or someone you know. It’s about pointless goals, and they fun and flow and aliveness that a pointless goal can bring. A goal not for self improvement, or to fix anything, or to make something better, or for any reason other than it makes you happy.

In Praise of Pointless Goals
#goals #Pointless #Joy

I‘m so tired of trying, fighting, smiling, crying and fixing everything. Why should I fix it, if everything is broken? My life is in shambles, I am overindebted and can't see my way out of it. I just want to stop existing, I don’t want this “life” anymore. The pain destroys me, I’m either numb or feeling everything at once. It’s exhausting, discouraging and pointless.
I have a cravings for alcohol and drugs and it would be easy to take some more pills to end this suffering, but somehow I don’t want to leave this world. Idk why, my brain is fucking annoying.
(I won’t do an attempt, but it bothers me.)

Does anyone else feel like their mental condition/illness/issue (whatever the hell you wish to call it) STILL gets in the way of them having a happy & healthy relationship?? I always used to say “I’ll never get married and I have no desire to…EVER!” (Because I really didn’t have that desire or to have children for that matter). Recently, I met this awesome guy that I feel might be “the one”. However, I’m still so petty and have SO many toxic traits!! Today, I delete all of our Marco Polo videos and almost (but didn’t) block the dude on FB because I felt like he didn’t respond to my text because he didn’t like my response (MY assumption). That alone makes me feel like I’m incapable of ever having a healthy and sustainable, long-lasting relationship. I literally wear peppermint socks the way I keep putting my foot in my mouth!!!! Ugh. I feel hopeless. I’m not alone though, right?!
#manicdepression #MDD #Anxiety #Bipolar #NSSI #hopeless #help #Depression #Trauma #hurt #stupid #Pointless #suicidal

day 2 of being clean from self harm #disapointedinmyslef I feel so stupid and pointless #Pointless I don’t know what I’m here for anymore and I don’t know why I bother to try anymore #givingup I just want to #cry and never stop and just be in a corner on my own with nobody else so I can think and just decide what I’m doing
#helpme

I have been spiralling down and down the BPD helter skelter over the last 6 months ubtil i can now reasonably confidently say I have absolutely no point left.
The one thing I could be relied upon to perform with any reliability was drive my disabled 21 year old daughter the 40 miles to university in the morning.
This morning she kindly and worriedly asked me to turn round and go home because I couldn't concentrate on listening to her at the same time as negotiating a roundabout.
I have rung and asked every charity and organisation I can get the number for and nobody can help with BPD.
in fact the harshest woman I was unfortunate enough to have to speak to was at a Mind crisis house.
I get home to find the news is spouting something about Mental Health Awareness and quite frankly, where is that in the UK?
25 years fighting this illness has been an enforced solitary endeavour.
I appologise for my frame of mind and i dont mean to bring a tonne of negativity to people this morning.
This was merely the only place I felt less alone.