Recurrent Depression

Today the veil is lifting.
Fleeting moments of intense optimism and excitement.
I get to see my son get older and wow at how he’ll be.. imagining the conversations we’ll have and looking forward to all the happy memories we’ll make. It feels crazy at how positive I can feel in one moment when yesterday I could barely hold my head up. Feeling opposite ends of the spectrum so intensely within 24hours can’t be “normal” can it? It’s not. I know it’s not. But is this more than depression? Do I maybe have bipolar? I’ve read many account of people who went undiagnosed before.. Is this the bpd that I was diagnosed with in the past? I have found it so so hard to accept that one and I feel so vulnerable writing it down. Just saying depression and anxiety has always been easier.

Anyway. I’m here to say the veil is lifting and remind anyone in a similar situation (specifically my post yesterday) that the veil does lift. It always does. Even though in the moment it feels like it never will.
I’m here to remind myself also that this has just been a very very hard episode and I’ve had these episodes and periods before. It always gets better. The sun will follow the rain ✨

#Depression #RecurrentDepression #ChronicDepression #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #BPDDiagnosis #Hope #thistooshallpass #PostnatalDepression #PostpartumDepression #reminders

I get so angry and frustrated when people assume that I'm feeling better, just because I was able to smile for a short moment.

Every day is still a struggle for me. Every step I take still feels like it's with heavy weights around my ankles.

And please stop asking me when I will be feeling better. If I knew, it would make this fight so much easier.

#RecurrentDepression

#RecurrentDepression
#BPD

For about Three days now I've been Entering that state of Deep Depression and just Feeling Really Anxious and Feeling that I will Never get OVER this #depressionrelapse #RecurrentDepression

Bear with me - it’s my first post and I’ve no idea what I’m doing!!! I’m in the middle of a big fat relapse, my meds are taking their time kicking in, my housemate moved out this week leaving me £250 short on the bills with only a few hours notice, my fella of 5 months dumped me by text yesterday and I’m stuck at work on a night shift as a senior mental health nurse in a crisis team - I feel such a fraud, I’ve spent 10 minutes crying in the toilet for absolutely no reason and my suicidal thoughts are getting ridiculous. nobody can do anything but maybe posting this will help get things out of my head for 5 minutes?

I want to leave my body and run as far away from anything and everything that I can. I just have no idea how I can do it. #RecurrentDepression #Anxiety #run #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder

They ask “how are you doing”

What they mean is “are you over it?”