thistooshallpass

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The sun will follow the rain

Today the veil is lifting.
Fleeting moments of intense optimism and excitement.
I get to see my son get older and wow at how he’ll be.. imagining the conversations we’ll have and looking forward to all the happy memories we’ll make. It feels crazy at how positive I can feel in one moment when yesterday I could barely hold my head up. Feeling opposite ends of the spectrum so intensely within 24hours can’t be “normal” can it? It’s not. I know it’s not. But is this more than depression? Do I maybe have bipolar? I’ve read many account of people who went undiagnosed before.. Is this the bpd that I was diagnosed with in the past? I have found it so so hard to accept that one and I feel so vulnerable writing it down. Just saying depression and anxiety has always been easier.

Anyway. I’m here to say the veil is lifting and remind anyone in a similar situation (specifically my post yesterday) that the veil does lift. It always does. Even though in the moment it feels like it never will.
I’m here to remind myself also that this has just been a very very hard episode and I’ve had these episodes and periods before. It always gets better. The sun will follow the rain ✨

#Depression #RecurrentDepression #ChronicDepression #BipolarDisorder #BipolarDepression #BPDDiagnosis #Hope #thistooshallpass #PostnatalDepression #PostpartumDepression #reminders

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Today💗

If all you do today is take it 15 minutes at a time….you’re doing amazing. 💕

My reminder to myself…stay centered. Cry if needed. Release it don’t hold it in. #TheMighty #fibrowarrior #Fibromyalgia #winterblues #sad #loveyourself #Loveyourselffirst #thistooshallpass #wegotthis

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Positive experience with diazapam for short term use with acute anxiety/panic setback please

I’ve posted a few days ago explaining that getting covid caused my anxiety and panic to come back quite acutely. My MH consultant has said to keep my Sertraline dose the same and to use 2mg diazapam 3 times a day for a week. Has this been helpful for anyone else to get them out of the panic cycle? I am also seeing my counsellor and I am fully aware it is addictive will only be used for a very small amount of time.

Any positive messages about getting over a setback would be really helpful as well. I know I’ve done it before but it’s hard to believe when you are in the eye of the storm.

Thank you ❤️

#Anxiety #anxietysetback #diazapam #positivethoughts #anxietyandpanic #anxietysuccess #thistooshallpass

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OUR ANXIETY IS OUR ALLY

Are you one of the people who has no other choice but to do the errands such as grocery shopping, going to the drug store, walking the dog or delivering goods despite being terribly anxious? Well, good news! Your anxiety is your ally! I know some will argue with me but think about this, covid19 is transmitted through droplets, surfaces and in some cases like in a hospital setting, through air circulation, meaning, if we avoid doing things that might get us infected such as: not washing your hands frequently, bad hygiene, not practicing social distancing (6 feet away from another person), always touching your face, not wearing protective gears such as masks, gloves and face shields, etc, we are safe. Now why did I say that our anxiety is our ally? Simple, us being paranoid about almost everything will make us do all the precautionary and safety measures needed will somehow spare us from getting it.

Use your anxiety to your advantage. I'm lying if I say it doesn't suck, but it'll eventually save you from doing the wrong things and making bad decisions. Trust me, I've been going in and out of grocery stores and I must say, my anxiety is quite tamed and somehow behave.

I listed all the possible reasons why...

When I'm at the grocery I...

1. DO NOT TOUCH SURFACES EASILY

2. MAKE SURE MY MASKS AND GLOVES ARE ON

3. I BRING MY ALCOHOL AND WET WIPES SO I COULD USE THEM BEFORE I TOUCH THE CART OR ANY SURFACE

4. MAKE SURE THAT I HAVE MY SHOPPING LIST TO SAVE TIME THNKING ABOUT WHAT TO BUY AND SI I COULD GET OUT OF THE STORE IMMEDIATELY AFTER

5. SANITIZE MY HANDS AFTER HOLDING THE MONEY

6. THANK THE FRONTLINERS (CASHIERS, GUARDS, ATTENDANTS) FOR DOING SUCH AN AMAZING JOB OF PROVIDING OUR NEEDS

7. PRAY. THANK HIM FOR KEEPING ME SAFE AND CALM WHILE DOING THE ERRANDS

doing errands outside is probably one of the things that we cannot avoid. We're humans, we have our needs and we also have our responsibility.

After grocery shopping, before I leave the parking lot, I message the people at home saying I'm already on my way back, ask them to open up the gate, the front door, and bring my towel to the bathroom so I won't touch anything as I get in.

What we need to do right now is RELAX while being ANXIOUS. Yeah, I know it's hard, but being Anxious will make you avoid doing things that you shouldn't do (at least for now) , and being relaxed will make you think rationally while you're outside.

I know you can do it, Mighty! Stay safe and may God bless you! ❤️❤️❤️

#grocery #Anxiety #errands #stayhome #COVID19 #quarantine #stayhealthy #Pray #relax #Godiswithus #pandemic #thistooshallpass

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Hope, Peace, & Love

This is my newest painting that I completed last night. It’s called “Hope, Love, and Peace”. The inscriptions in the painting are the words hope, love, and peace in Amharic. The image in the center represent the light of hope at the end of the tunnel. I made this painting to represent that even though we’re are in an unprecedented and scary time, things are getting better and it will be over soon enough. I hope you enjoy it.
#Hope #COVID19 #peace #thistooshallpass

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Funnies #COVID19

I am feeling this right here. Doing good today. Got good sleep and I really cannot complain too much at the moment. #thistooshallpass

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I Know Better

I know better.
Every cell in my body is screaming at me to get up. Keep fighting. But I can’t. My body is no longer mine. I tell my feet to move, but they remain still; for moving feels like wading through rough waters with an anchor tied to your ankles. Move. Fight.
I can’t. I don’t want to. What’s the point? I’m failure. I’ve failed my family. I’ve failed my best friend. Ive failed school; wasting money on tuition for a degree I may never finish. I’ve failed my dream career. I’ve failed my boss. I’m a fuck up.

I know better.
It’s the depression. But I can’t help but notice that depression is me; I am a living, breathing form of depression at its finest.

My legs are numb. My arms are limp. My lungs burn for air. My eyes sting from the salty evidence of my own mindful destruction. My mind is in a battle against itself.

Give up. Just lay here and float away into nothingness. It’s calm. It’s quiet. It’s comfortable. You’re not rushing. You’re not fighting with anyone. You’re not angry. You’re not entirely sad either. You’re nothing. You’re empty. This is how you’re meant to be. This is who you are deep down. Nothing. Just floating. Weightless. Peacefully empty. Nothing more than an empty, purposeless vessel.

Get up. Fight. Move. Wiggle one finger at a time. Move your toes. Move your foot at least a centimeter. Breathe. Fight. You’re meant for this. You’re meant to live. To prosper. To help others....but how can I help others when I can’t even help myself?
I know better than to believe I’m nothing.
But I’m exhausted. From life. From sadness. From people. From faith. From being empty.
Emotionally tired. Physically exhausted.
I try so hard. Yet i fail in the end. I always fail. “You always will fail”.

I know better.
But this is me.
The battle seem infinite; I’m longing for the win. I’d even settle or defeat. Anything but this.
I know better. But I’ve lost my desire to care.
I know better, for this too shall pass. #Depression #MentalHealth #MoodDisorders #thistooshallpass #MentalIllness

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