Selfcriticism

I started a new job today, and already my mood has plummeted even more than usual (if that's even possible). It wasn't a hard day. In fact, it was an incredibly easy day all things considered, but every second of that day was filled with self-critical thoughts. "You're not doing well enough", "you should be doing more, "you're not working quick enough", "you need to give it more oomph", "they probably think you're a let down" etc. etc. etc. I am so completely exhausted an depleted by millions of self critical thoughts that fill my mind every second of every day, particularly in work situations, completely exhausting me, to the point where I am just dragging myself through every second, pasting a smile on my face and wondering what is the point of all this when I am battling with my own mind. How do other people cope with this? Please help me find a way to shut this stupid voice up!! I hate her so fricking much and she is ruining my entire life!!! I just want to feel mildly ok with myself on a day to day basis and no feel filled with burning self hatred and inadequacy every second of my entire life! 😔😔😔

I’m lost. It’s like i hope something change about my life everyday and deep inside i know nothing is going to. i wish i can be stronger to face the people who hurt me, i wish i can stop worrying. I didn’t go to college for a long time and I closed all of my social media accounts a week before starting this new account, not doing much in my day and not talking to anyone except my family. I’m always in my bed my parents come to check about how I’m doing and try to get a me eat anything. no one to talk to and even if there’s anyone to talk too I’m always panicking and thinking “yeah, this person is going to hurt me or he’s going to be nothing but a negative vibe at this time”. but I cannot do anything about it I’m always anxious, I’m always worried, i always feel like something is wrong, I’m always judging and pointing out anything i do or i feel. how can i feel confident and be a new person? I’ve always been this girl who feels ugly and suffers from lack of self confidence, trying to please anyone and everybody because I don’t want to be alone or don’t want anyone to see me as the bad person who leaves even if I’m not the bad person in their story or even if it’s unhealthy for me I always stick to the end until I’m the one who’s being left. I always care about what people think of me and I don’t know how to stop all of this. I just can’t control it. #Selfcriticism #Selfhate #Anxiety #Desperate #Depression #NegativeThoughts