special needs parent

We're winding down to the end of the year. My kid is widdling away the remaining online school lessons requires of her in the fall semester too. But my, oh my, has it been a long one!

Family squabbles, school stresses, and the stupid pandemic isolation forced on those of us with loved ones with "specific underlying conditions," have been so much to work through. I thought when 2020 was over, the worst had past. During the summer and early fall, I dared to hope and dream of vacations and regular school again. But no, first delta yanked us back into online school, and now delta has threatened the sorely-needed vacation plans we have.

I know as a researcher that pandemics run 2-3 years on average. I know that endemic viruses gp through some "typical" stages of evolution as they become endemic. I also know that as treatments, preventions, and management strategies become available the medical community can be slow to accept and/or implement them in the system. I just wish I could do more about that.

My job as a parent is to find healthy, productive ways to guide my kid through all life has to offer. My job as a researcher is to provide the best information I can to those who can use it wisely to treat and prevent life destroying viruses. I just wish that at certain points in my life, I were better at either job...and this has been the most salient of those moments in my life.

This pandemic will end. Just like this semester will end. In the meantime, all I can do is give my best every day, but that gets mighty exhausting once in a while.
#COVID19 #SpecialNeedsParent #GeneralParenting #ADHD #ADHDInGirls #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

In recent years, I have found myself overwhelmed by the demands of life. My daughter's illnesses that her father swears she doesn't have, my own loss of career, a failure to return to the workforce, and countless small failures each day.

I have never been someone anyone would suggest that they wish they were like. I am perpetually dishevelled, late, and overburdened. I constantly have to be forgiven for failing at basic everyday things. There's never enough time for me to be on-time, focused, or have basic hygiene and well-rested.

I am hypersensitive and I blame myself for everything. I can constantly "rationalize" the way anything happening to anyone is my fault somehow. It's exhausting for me and those closest to me. For that reason, everyone eventually walks away. I'm the problem they just can't solve. I've had therapists tell me I can't get better if I don't want to.

I do want to be happy again, but to keep physically healthy, we have to stay isolated (somewhat). To keep my daughter's condition in healthy states and her education in progress, and her mental/emotional health in check, I have to sacrifice, sacrifice, sacrifice... isolation, homeschooling/online school, pay attention to every comment and attention ploy.

I am exhausted and buried beneath stressors that endlessly prevent me from even checking in on my own health. I don't want to be an over aggressive parent who controls every aspect of my kid's life, but between physical conditions, mental health conditions, and a pandemic, wth am I supposed to do?

I'm sorry to be so social with all of this. I know everyone here has their own struggles. I guess I am just hoping for a knowledgeable ear and maybe someone with sound advice who has lived through something like this or worse. I do realize our situation could be so much worse. I am just exhausted right now and pretty down.

Thanks for listening.

#Depression #Anxiety #SpecialNeedsParent #GeneralParenting #COVID19 #PTSD

My new book Day by Day: Emotional Wellbeing in Parents of Disabled Children is published on Friday 7th May.

I felt the wellbeing of parent carers was rarely considered by professionals, society or even the parents themselves.

I have been researching emotional wellbeing for the last four years. As a Counselling Psychologist and Parent Carer to my son, I wanted to share what I’ve learnt along the way to:

🌿 ensure no one felt alone in their difficulties

🌿 give voice to the many difficult emotions Parent Carers can experience, often all at the same time. It really is a rollercoaster

🌿 share what other parent carers find useful

🌿 bring the research, which is often inaccessible, to parents
#parentcarers #Caregiving #Caregivers #Caregiversupport #Caregiverstress #parentcarerwellbeing #specialneedsparents #autismmom #SpecialNeeds #SpecialNeedsFamilies #SpecialNeedsParent