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Child sexual assault


I finished writing out my story of what happened when I was 9. I wrote out all the details and the feelinganzd emotions that went with writing it. I actually felt the physical pain while writing it. I felt the little girl come forward and write her story. I’ve protected her so long I didn’t think I could let her come forward to do it. I have my trauma therapy appointment Wednesday to go over this trauma. I wanted to throw up after writing it. I will never understand how 2 people could be so evil to do something like that to a little girl. I’ve held on to this secret for so long that I’ve pushed the little girl down and wouldn’t let her tell her story because I’m trying to protect her. I’m scared about the trauma session I’m going to have but after writing it I feel strength and determination to let the little girl tell her story so she can finally have peace. We both need peace. So this is going to be a rough week but I got this!!! #Child sexual assault #Bipolar #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #CPTSD #OCD #Child abuse

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Part of my story

When I was 9 I was sexually assaulted by a teenage girl and her father. The father tried to penetrate first but that didn’t work so they decided to use objects. They used knife handles, end of a broom stick, and dildos. The girl would hold
Me down or they would switch places. I can remember leaving my body and just floating away. The father was able to penetrate me by the end. The girl held me down. I can still hear her laughing. I can remember the severe pain and feeling my soul shatter into pieces. I felt so alone and confused. After they were finished they told
Me they would kill my brothers and mom by gutting them
Open like pigs. I got up and got dresses. I can remember seeing the blood run down my
Legs. I tried to clean myself up as best as I could. I got dressed and dusted myself off and held onto this secret through the rest of my childhood and teenage years. I finally told
My husband years after we had been married. I held onto that secret for so long for the fear of
Losing my brothers and mom. I felt like it was my fault and that I deserved it. My innocence was stolen. My childhood and teenage years were ruined. I thought my body was not
Mine and that I was supposed to let men use and abuse it. My soul is still shattered into some
Pieces but I’m working on healing it. I’m going to have peace and happiness in my
Life despite what they took
From me. I’ve got to do it for me and for my family. I’ve got to overcome all the negativity from what happened. I’ve got enough strength in me
To do it!!! Thank you for letting me share part of my story. #BipolarDisorder #CPTSD #Child sexual assault #SchizoaffectiveDisorder #OCD #Gastroparesis #Survivor of rape and or molestation

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How do people with bipolar disorder navigate pregnancy?

I have bipolar 1. I want to marry and have children, but I'm scared of
1. Whether my psychiatrist will agree to change or take me off my meds while trying/pregnant. I'm on lithium and ziprasidone (geodon). Both cause harm to the fetus. My psychiatrist never agrees with me whenever I point out the side effects of my medications. She always says my symptoms must be due to something else. I think she may have the same response when I tell her I want to go off my meds to have a kid.
2. Postpartum psychosis
3. How to avoid sleep loss while taking care of a baby. For me, sleep loss inevitably leads to a manic episode
I'm still figuring out if having bipolar disorder is a good enough reason to not have kids even if you really want them. If it's really bad then I'd have to change my priorities and marry someone who doesn't want kids either or already has kids and doesn't want any more.
Is there anyone out there who's had a bipolar diagnosis before having kids and it turned out alright? I'd really like to know.
If someone is child free by choice because of bipolar I would also like to know about it.
Thank you. #Pregnancy #baby #Child #Parenting

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Calling all parents of kids with special needs and disabilities!

Hi there, I've just created a group for parents of children with special needs and disabilities.

I'd love you to join!

I have two adopted children, one of whom has special needs. We're in the process of an autism assessment at the moment.

I'd love to connect with other parents and caregivers with similar and different experiences. I've made it a closed group because I think it's important that we can share and encourage each other in privacy.

#SpecialNeedsParenting #SpecialNeeds #Autism #Parenting #SpecialNeedsParent #specialneedsmom #autismparent #disabledchild #raisingadisabledchild #Children #Child #autisticchild #Carer #ADHD #childmentalhealth #anxiousparent #parentanxiety

Please join... I would love to meet you and hear your story :)

Parents of children with special needs and disabilities | An Online Health Community

This group is a safe place for parents and caregivers of disabled children and children with other special needs to come together, encourage each other, and share insights, wisdom, thoughts and questions.
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I am glad I found this place. I have no history of anxiety, but my son has anxiety attacks regularly. I hope to find information here to learn about what someone with anxiety is going through and about how I can be there for him #Anxiety #Child with anxiety


Some folks shouldn't be parents

The man that fathered me died a year ago.

When I was six years old he was my world.

When I was seven years old he was on his way to forgetting about me. No birthday month or holiday visits. I saw my dad 8 times that year.

At eight years old he came up with excuses to miss 22 of his bi weekly visits for the year. And instead of doing something with him, I was dropped off at grandma's house for these weekends. We spent zero time together. He wouldn't even sit for a meal (which grandma made enough for everyone). Of course my birthday and the holidays were completely forgotten.

At age 9 after a total of three weekends at grandma's house this man called to tell me he wasn't going to be around anymore because he was moving to another state.

I didn't know that this was called abandonment until 8 years ago.

I didn't realize how dissociated I was with reality.

I stopped caring about brushing my hair at age 7 - I can see it in pictures from that time.

I stopped caring about changing my clothes, they were dirty and often much too small.

I stopped wanting anything except to eat and watch TV. People became mean, the world became cold and I stopped trusting. Trusting is a requirement to build relationships. without it all relationships fail. I cannot trust people today because I "know in my heart" that all people will abandon me. If a child can be abandoned by his entire world how can he ever trust again?

I wish parents that behaved like this were guilty of a crime that required a life sentence

But instead society ignores the costs to the next generation and encourages parents to abandon their children and start new families.

A seven year old child should not know the words, daddy didn't pay child support so we can't afford new shoes, clothes or better food.

My dad died. His obituary didn't acknowledge me. I didn't exist.

And people wonder why I can't form relationships.

I understand why I dream of dying, being dead and never being born.

#Trust #Child #abandonment


Fallout #CPTSD #Child abuse survivor#axiety #Depression #astma #graves #graves eye disease #Fibromyalgia #Fibro fog #Fear .

I was raised my a narcissistic mother. She would draw me in by showing me the love I craved and then would cut me into little pieces over and over again with her words and fists. She made me feel as though I could not have a life without her. I finally was able to say enough. I am now 60 years old and she has not been in my life for many years but I believe many of the maladies I suffer from are a direct result of that relationship. I have no feelings or thoughts of her and I have very strong support in my family and friends. I cannot for the life of me understand how I allowed that need to go on for so many years. I am thankful to The Lord for opening my eyes and the provision of support. Now I deal with the physical, mental, and emotional fallout.

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#Cat is the best friend for your #Child

Cats provide an indescribable experience of communication with the world of animals and wildlife. They are wayward and independent. Your child will inevitably learn to respect every living being.