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Overcoming regret and shame?

Does anyone else feel like they've wasted years of their life? (Whatever that means to you: whether it was an addiction, or feeling stuck in a situation or relationship, or just not moving forward in your goals. )

Do you ever stop mourning the years you've lost? What are practical ways that you can learn to forgive yourself and move forward?

#Depression #DepressiveDisorders  #Anxiety  #Addiction  #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #MentalHealth #Alcoholism #AlcoholAbuse

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Famously in Recovery (At time of writing)

Part 1 of 2 Celebrities are humans too. I mean… some of them. But there are others who have earned their spot at the top because of what they’ve been through and how they are helping countless others with their stories of real life struggles. I know we like to put celebrities on a pedestal because they have something we wish we had in our own lives. But this list is true to that and a genuine and authentic way. I have found inspiration from each of there stories about addiction. Lots of tools in my bag after hearing them speak about their struggles and triumphs.

I have put together this list of celebrities who used to live in excess and how they who are now using their life and stories to help others attain a life in recovery. Through their ups and down, wins and losses, there is a common thread; you can fight those addictions and come out the other end alive and successful. It’s one thing to be depicted in fiction, and a whole ‘nother to be able to see it happen in real life.

ROBERT DOWNEY JR

Coming from 80’s Hollywood, Robert Downey Jr’s addiction and legal battles were well publicized. He was losing his career one more bad choice by choice. He felt he was hitting his bottom and decided to do something about it. Now living in recovery, he is one of the most successful and paid celebrities in Hollywood. It doesn’t hurt that he headlines one of the most famous franchises out there, Iron Man. He talks about his struggles as a caution to others.

DEMI LOVATO

On the more recent end of the Hollywood timeline, Demi has struggled through most of their life with addiction, eating disorders, and mental health. They have been extremely outspoken about the highs and lows of their life in an effort to help others who may be struggling the same. They seem to be one of the more accessible people’s story in Hollywood because of their age and also how open they are.

DREW BARRYMORE

Another celebrity product of the child celebrities, Drew Barrymore also has a well documented life in addiction. She first went to rehab at 13. Once she was older and realized how far off she drifted she decided to get clean and live life as an example to others that it is possible to live drug free. She is now one of the top paid female talk show hosts out there.

DANNY TREJO

Out of all the people on this list, Danny Trejo has to most clean time of any other celebrity. His story is full of drug use, incarceration, and wins. Danny has been sober for over 50 years. He has used his recovery as a tool to get as far as he has in Hollywood. His range has been everything from Star Wars to Machete. He uses his experience in recovery to be an advocate of drug and alcohol abuse treatment programs.

BEN AFFLECK

Ben Affleck is the child of an alcoholic so his examples of life were marred by that, much like all of us. He uses his attempt at moderation drinking and additional fall as part of his cautionary tale that it just doesn’t work that way for addicts.He credits his children as his main focus for being in recovery.

EWAN MCGREGOR

Not just did he play a drug addict in his breakout role, Trainspotting, Ewan McGregor struggled with addiction in real life as well. One of the most adaptable actor out there, Ewan credits his recovery to his family and friends. He uses his story to reach others.

JAMIE LEE CURTIS

Hailing from Hollywood royalty, and a queen in her own right, Jamie Lee Curtis wasn’t immune to a life in addiction. She has been in so many different pieces of art that it’s hard to pin her down to just one medium or one role. In full transparency and truth Jamie says her recovery come above all else, including her family, career, and failures. An example of how without or recovery, we have nothing else.

BELLA HADID

Gracing the cover of 35 Vogue issues, Bell Hadid was thrust into the spotlight by her famous family ties. As a supermodel that came with many substances. She also lives with mental health issues on top of it. She made the decision to go clean because it was having an obvious impact on her career, and she cherishes that role. She is now outspoken about those issues so that others can know there is hope for them too.

BRADLEY COOPER

Not only has Bradley Cooper portrayed multiple people who serious addiction issues, he also suffered from them im real life. Bradley hasn’t always been as open as others on this list, but when he does get candid, he uses those moments to advocate for living a life in recovery. He now as over 15 years under his belt.

LINDSAY LOHAN

Probably the most infamous celebrity on this list that has to do with addiction issues is Lindsay Lohan. Her life has been splashed across every tv screen and publication there is. Her substance use landed her in hot water multipl

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How to help an alcoholic without hurting yourself

Part 1 of 2 In this article, you’ll find practical ideas to help you:

Understand the biggest needs of someone suffering from alcoholism

Distinguish between helping vs enabling

Encourage a loved one to seek treatment

Before discussing this topic in detail, it’s important for you to understand a hard truth about having a loved one suffering from alcoholism: It is not within your power to fix or cure this person. Recovery requires cooperation on the part of the person dependent on alcohol, a decision that things need to change radically. Once someone has become addicted, the goal of “cutting down” on alcohol is a lie that often enables the person to continue alcohol abuse and all its painful consequences. Accordingly, breaking addiction begins when a person recognizes his or her alcohol dependence and agrees that it needs to end.

The Biggest Needs of a Person with Alcohol Addiction

It goes without saying that the biggest need of an alcoholic is recovery. Alcoholism not only damages the health of the addicted but risks financial problems stemming from the behavioral problems (e.g. inconsistency at work, excessive absenteeism, etc.) associated with the disease. The problems of alcoholism also extend beyond the person suffering from the addiction. Common alcoholic behaviors such as drunk driving put the welfare of others in harm’s way.

Substance abuse in any form is a health risk. With respect to alcohol, addiction can produce a variety of medical problems from high blood pressure and heart disease to problems with liver function. An alcoholic may begin to skip meals or otherwise eat poorly. If an alcoholic has not yet agreed to treatment, you should still encourage a health diet, proper nutrition, and regular medical check-ups.

An understanding of alcoholism is another extremely important need for an alcoholic. Family and friends who have self-educated on alcoholism will avoid:

Blaming themselves for an alcoholic’s drinking

Making excuses for a loved one’s drinking or covering it up

Believing common lies alcoholics tell themselves (and others) to justify their drinking

Behaving in a way that is problematic around an alcoholic (such as drinking in their presence or leaving alcohol in a place where it is easily accessible)

Financially supporting an alcoholic so he or she may continue drinking despite losing employment due to compulsive drinking

The Importance of Self-Care for the Family & Friends of an Alcoholic

Alcoholism, like many other illnesses, affects not only a person who suffers from the condition but also the loved ones within his or her life. Addiction can manifest itself in innumerable ways that hurt those around the person dependent on alcohol. Most notably, typically loved ones spend an extreme amount of effort and energy on the alcoholic to address consequences of drinking and perform obligations that the alcoholic failed to perform. In this scenario, self-care can fall by the wayside.

If you have someone in your life struggling with alcoholism, remember to maintain a self-care routine to preserve your physical and emotional health. Consider the following self-care practices:

Attending a support group for people with alcoholic loved ones (e.g. Al-Anon)

Getting regular sleep

Exercising

Regularly pursuing activities you enjoy (e.g. movies, concerts, museums, sports events)

Obtaining therapy if you struggle with feelings of depression or regret or fear

Writing your feelings in a journal

Maintaining a healthy diet

Understand Alcoholism Goes Beyond Drinking

Alcohol addiction has a host of negative behaviors associated with it because alcohol affects the way the brain functions. Some of the activities that may occur during alcoholism include:

Spending money on alcohol that was meant for the family (e.g. food, gas, insurance, savings, etc.)

Lying about quitting alcohol or lying about the extent of drinking

Failing to control anger or impulsive behavior

Engaging in reckless behavior such as drunk driving

Losing inhibitions while drunk and engaging in promiscuity

Acting in a manipulative or secretive manner

During therapy, alcoholics are encouraged to recognize these behaviors and work on replacing them with healthier ways of behaving that preserve important relationships and build trust.

Helping an Alcoholic vs. Enabling an Alcoholic

Loved ones wish to protect an alcoholic from the dangerous consequences of this addiction. This is especially true when the alcoholic is a son or daughter, though it can equally apply to a spouse. Unfortunately, this protective instinct can transform into enablement of addiction because it creates an environment where the personal costs of addiction are reduced for the person

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Reach Out; Help is There

I did a brave thing and made a somewhat detailed post on Facebook about my recent diagnosis of bipolar disorder, even calling myself out for the alcohol abuse that went from 0-90 in a matter of months.

So many things could have been different for me, had I known about my bipolar. However, it's better to have been diagnosed late, than never at all.

If you read my last post about my suicide attempt, it was the catalyst that brought me to this now healing state I am in. I am being more gentle with myself now. I am working through my trauma and guilt and becoming a healthier version of myself, albeit slowly. Remember; slow and steady wins the race.

The post I made on Facebook has received so much positivity that it made my heart absolutely swell with love for my beautiful friends who are as relieved as I am to be in a place of hope and joy now, after they watched me self destruct the last two years since my brother took his own life. It's been hard navigating my grief, without understanding that the things that were putting up road block after road block were due to my bipolar.

My advice to you, my sincere advice, is to not hide yourself from your friends and family. They love you and want to understand you, they want to give their support. Mind you, I know there are those that do not understand, and perhaps it's time to cut those people off from having access to you for a while. Healthy boundaries are a good thing.

We've got this. Don't lose hope. Don't give up until you have the answers you need to get yourself to a better place mentally. We deserve it.

#MentalHealth #BipolarDisorder #Healing #Happiness #Support

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Severe depression (post suicidal plan)

Warning: suicidal plan/ thoughts mentioned.

I don’t even know where to begin this post… I had a suicidal plan on Friday which I thought about for a long time that evening but didn’t end up completing. Fast forward a few days later and I still feel like sh*t, just extremely depressed. I tried to end my life in March of this year, it was my first suicide attempt. I have been thinking about suicide since I was a child but because I live in an abusive and neglectful house, those thoughts/ feelings are never spoken about EVEN after I finally attempted and even with me having a history of this. It’s Halloween and I had a very rough day at work. I’m so depressed I don’t even wanna watch my favorite tv show and I’m afraid I’ll end up going to the local bar to drink my troubles away (I have a history of alcohol abuse) and that won’t make me any better either. I’m lying in bed in the dark, no desire to have dinner or do anything else. Thank you for reading this post 🙏🏻 #Bipolar1 #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #ADHD

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Hurricane SFC Zachary

Part 1 of 2 Sixteen long months ago, my life jumped the track to a hugely different timeline and trajectory. In the time since that point of impact event when my dear baby brother ended his life, I have frequently thought of dates biblically. Before Zach (BZ) and After Zach (AZ). As my weather obsessed kids and I have been tracking Hurricane Idalia from the safety of our land-locked living room, a new categorical nomenclature has emerged.

A beautiful life that ends by suicide should be catalogued like a Hurricane. Like the weather event, it should be thought about in three distinct, non-overlapping phases: formation, landfall, and aftermath.

Hurricanes are called different things (tropical cyclones, typhoons) but they all are colossal in size. As displaced air grows, huge clouds form and spin until a recognizable eye of the storm forms.

This eye easiest viewed from outside the storm. Much like a person lost to suicide, very rarely is this outcome a spontaneous, explosive incident. Every storm is as unique as a fingerprint but comes from the same template. Hurricanes move slowly and wreak insurmountable damage for prolonged periods of time. For example, Hurricane Katrina’s effects terrorized the lands it passed over for more than a year.

FORMATION

Experts, we who have experienced these types of loss, will tell you it was not one thing that went wrong. It was one million things and often so acutely that our loved one could not even come up for air long enough to accept help. While the storm is in the ocean it builds momentum as it feeds on heat and moisture. Some hurricanes have all the ingredients to destroy but spend their fury on an open ocean. It takes ideal circumstances for these storms to emerge.

A precise mixture of rising air and low wind shear. A small difference in wind speed could stop it in its tracks. But the homeostatic environment often does not interfere. Just like humanity. Suicide is horrific and so uncomfortable, that all we can acknowledge is ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘That’s awful’, but statistically after 3 weeks people won’t reference our loved one or check-in on us survivors anymore.

Paul Quinnett PhD says it like this “non-response can be interpreted as permission to proceed.”

Be the interference.

Ask your loved one the uncomfortable question before this brewing storm makes landfall. Storms often creep along slowly, 10-20 mph, our loved ones may have been struggling in front of our eyes for longer than we could have imagined enduring.

In my brother’s case there were copious points when his storm’s momentum grew. We moved frequently, so we never established hearty roots to fight uprooting during the F5s.

A circulating storm that dissipates midocean was not an option after losing a parent, abandonment, addiction, abuse, neglect, an unstable marriage, and sixteen years in the United States Infantry.

LANDFALL

A hurricane is set to make landfall when the center moves across the coast, or the eye of the storm is over land. There are AREAS of the world more prone to landfall (i.e., Florida) and when the storm hits land friction increases while cutoff from supplies, the winds decrease at a constant rate. Storms may shrink when they hit land, but landfall is when the most damage occurs.

Power outages, downed wires, storm surge, flooding and flying debris causes more injury and death than the hurricane overhead. Zach’s landfall started with PCS to Germany, a failing marriage, COVID-19 pandemic sidelining troops, alcohol abuse, and hypertension. On his 36th birthday he received a DUI while riding a scooter back from drinks with friends. His last 6 months were the point of no return, his cone of uncertainty became more determined.

AFTERMATH

Once the storm has passed and the rebuild begins, it is the only point where you can really evaluate the awfulness of this disturbance. When your home looks different you can spot the hazards to your health and safety. Besides external changes, internally overwhelming anxiety, worry, sleep problems and depressive symptoms may dominate. Hurricane Sandy formed October 22, was post-tropical October 29 and dissipated November 2nd. If the storm lasted 11 days and the recovery 14 months, that puts the rebuild at 38 times the length of the initial disaster.

Often communities prepare for impact with sandbags on the ground, boarded up windows, and stockpiled water. Most times these preparations are unnecessary, and the homeowners can return to life and be proud that they were ‘ready’. Other times the storm surge will raise the water level a few feet and cause nonfatal damage. The savvy homeowner who lives in hurricane territory will say “this isn’t their first rodeo”, grab a beer, call their home insurance, and chalk this up

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Should I drop him? I want to help support him but then won't tell me how.

Hey,
I am having an issue with one of my friends addiction to alcohol. I am not a male and i also dont have a lot of males that open up about mental health and addiction. I have no clue how to support him, because I don't understand his mindset and what he needs. Also I told him I don't know how to support people because in the process I start losing myself.
We also went on 3 amazing dates and we never stopped talking and even when we did it wasn't awarkward. He told me beforehand that he is an high-fuctioning alcoholic, I just didn't see how bad it was till I saw it for myself.
I told him that since my smoking weed and drinking has gotten a little out of control plus having bipolar 2 and taking medication, I did not want to see him and other people around me drinking or smoking weed, until I can handle being around them and being ok with it.
He said he understood but now doesn't respond to texts or responds really late in the day. He apologized and said he is sorry for being distant..and now I haven't heard from him in 4 days.
I just don't know if there are any books out there that help people understand from another person's view on addiction.

Stay positive everyone :) #Perspective #Addiction #AlcoholAbuse

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I'm new here!

Hi, my name is Bogmonster and I'm in the UK, maybe I should be using my real name but I've been on the recieving end of descrimination as I am sure many have. I was diagnosed with GAD and 'Affective Disorder' in 2014 after a mental health breakdown and a suicide atempt.
I've been struggling to manage my mental health since then, and have a set of management strategies that are not very good and scaleable. This last year had been tough, my father died in January and my sister died from alcohol abuse in June. I found myself back in need of professional help again. The mental health team are now treating me with symptoms associated with Complex-PTSD, namely 'emotional flashbacks'. Its only relatatively recently that I realized my 'anxiety attacks' were really emotional flashbacks. I ended up here as I also have Aphantasia and was researching flashbacks and Aphantasia.

I have really been struggling recently but thankfully I am now getting some help and I'm on a waiting list for EMDR therapy. Wishing everyone the best, BM.
#MightyTogether #Anxiety #Depression #PTSD

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How can I substitute the urge?

I've recently started struggling with a disfunctional way of soothing my mind, which is taking whatever at hand, from mainly alcohol to various meds, in a sort of compulsive way.
In the past I struggled a lot with self-harm urges and now it seems to me to be the same pattern here.
When the urge arrives, then, sometimes I asked myself what to do instead able to soothe me the same, and I answered self-harming. Which I don't want to do again.
There must be an alternative, but I need hints.
Waiting until the urge goes away doesn't work. Distracting myself neither.
I now decided not to touch alcohol in any case, even in casual social occasions.
I have my opinions and am aware it's not healthy for neither my mind nor my body, but the urge is there and knows nothing apart from the fact that the feeling I get from the misuse attracts me so much I can't say no to it.

#Alcoholism #SubstanceAbuse #SubstanceMisuse #Alcohol #AlcoholAbuse #Anxiety #SocialAnxiety

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Bipolar disorder symptoms the highs and lows

#BipolarDisorder

In bipolar disorder, the dramatic episodes of high and low moods do not follow a set pattern. Someone may feel the same mood state (depressed or manic) several times before switching to the opposite mood. These episodes can happen over a period of weeks, months, and sometimes even years.

How severe it gets differs from person to person and can also change over time, becoming more or less severe.

Symptoms of mania ("the highs"):

-Excessive happiness, hopefulness, and excitement

-Sudden changes from being joyful to being irritable, angry, and hostile

-Restlessness

-Rapid speech and poor concentration

-Increased energy and less need for sleep

-Unusually high sex drive

-Making grand and unrealistic plans

-Showing poor judgment

-Drug and alcohol abuse

-Becoming more impulsive

-Less need for sleep

-Less of an appetite

-Larger sense of self-confidence and well-being

-Being easily distracted

During depressive periods ("the lows"), a person with bipolar disorder may have:

-Sadness

-Loss of energy

-Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness

-Not enjoying things they once liked

-Trouble concentrating

-Forgetfulness

-Talking slowly

-Less of a sex drive

-Inability to feel pleasure

-Uncontrollable crying

-Trouble making decisions

-Irritability

-Needing more sleep

-Insomnia

-Appetite changes that make you lose or gain weight

-Thoughts of death or suicide

-Attempting suicide

You can refer to this:

resiliens.com/resilify/program/cbt-for-bipolar-disorder

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