As my family and I struggle with this never ending cycle of my moms alcohol addiction, I dwell in the thought that I selfishly hoped something bad would happen to her. Something not terrible, but bad enough to help her wake up and realize she can’t do this anymore.
Idk what that will take, as her previous scary episodes didn’t do much in the long run.
What’s worse than your mom refusing to detox? Pretending to detox :)
Once again, I’m here to vent about my alcoholic mom. I’m not sure when these posts will end, but my hope seems to be running on low.
I’m not sure what is left to be done at this point, if filming her intoxicated and showing her the next day how she was passed out in front of mine and my sisters room on a Monday night wasn’t enough. If her falling down the stairs and not remembering the next day wasn’t enough. If her being found unconscious beside her car at work, being brought to ER, being TOLD HER LIVER IS GOING TO START FAILING is not enough. What will be?
She spent the following days sick in bed making it seem to her family that she was detoxing. Asking us to get her food, water etc. Yet, she was just drinking a lot less (kudos to her) with only wine. She wasn’t taking her meds, even when I asked if she was she would say yes. Everything came to the surface once again and it is clear she is not sober and never was.
I have offered her my support, I have found countless programs and resources and brought them straight to her. I have given her a safe space to always be honest and talk to me. I know I am not the one who can truely fix this, but this can’t go on much longer???? How do I get her to finally accept help before it’s too late.
I poured out the last bottle — for good this time
So that is the end of it (again). I’m tired of hiding, lying, spending money I really don’t have, feeling sick….none of these make drinking worth doing. I’m going to call my counselor tomorrow, we have an appointment on Wednesday but I’m hoping we can talk sooner.
As I find more empty bottles stashed away in my moms room, as I have been finding for the past couple of years. Is there any point in showing them to her? It seems like it creates a bigger mess when I do, but after seeing her almost fall down the stairs last night again I can’t let it go anymore. Do I just leave them out for her to see? Do I throw them out? Do I leave them? Does it even make a difference????? #Addiction #AlcoholAbuse #Family
How do I deal with an alcoholic who is abusive... but still maintain contact with their significant other
I currently have a friend ( I will call him Joe)I met because he is friend with my husband. Recently I met his fiancée (I will call her Jane). Both of there own admission, not my judgments are alcoholics. Joe takes total responsibility for his behaviors when he is drinking... makes 0 excuses for himself... has never been aggressive or violent in my presence or when living with my husband and I for around a year. Jane blames all her behaviors on her drinking takes little to no responsibility. I have heard her be physical and verbally abusive to Joe.
Fast forward 2 months ... Joe is in ICU, on a ventilator and is medically sedated. His kidneys have shutdown and his liver is failing.
One more than one occasion Jane has called or texted so emotionally distraught that my husband and I have to talk to her for long periods of times to calm her down, and even once we had to call ambulance because she attempted suicide... Fortunately she was reached in time.
After these episodes anytime I try to explain how hurt she mad me feel because of the mean abusive things she said to me.... she first says well I was drunk... I don't remember.. she will give me an I'm sorry, which in my opinion she does just to divert attention from her.
Next she will reach out to my husband saying how mean I am to her... how selfish...etc.
Please keep in mind the time period I am discussing is within the last 3 weeks... 10 days of it being when Joe is in hospital. Thankfully in the last few days he is off ventilator, out of complete sedation and his liver has began to work some. He will remain on dialysis because his kidneys no longer function.
Jane's behavior is triggering for me because her actions are exactly how my mom, maternal grandmother and paternal aunt behaved when and after drinking. I want to be their for my husband and Joe but cannot deal with any of Jane's drama.
I know I am being selfish but I can't deal with the flashbacks, anxiety and anger it's triggering in me.
Stairway to Heaven -a memoir of hope