Suicidal Thoughts

#SuicideAttemptSurvivors #suicidal #Selfharm #SelfharmRecovery #MentalHealth

I got some shii goin on in my head rn I thought I was getting better, things are getting worse I am at my lowest and it feels like the year just started. I cant think my mind is jumbled, perhaps all i am looking for is an escape from this harsh reality growing up suicidal is kinda weird cuh i didn't think id still be alive rn so idk what im supposed to do with my life or where im going because i never planned on being here for it. i tried commiting suicide the other day and i aint ever doing that shit again (hopefully). i almost fricking killed myself. Anyways, suicide is not a joke it should be taken more seriously than it is. It is just as important and a sprained ankle same with a broken arm. Suicidal thoughts never truly "go away" we just find something to distract ourselves with. I am scared of my mind. But i think ill be okay. Love everyone and anyone taking the time to read this. Hey before you go.

answer this:

Before i die i want to_______________

for me

Be the person i am meant to be and have that be enough.

Hi, my name is Lingiwe100. I'm here because
I've suicidal thoughts#MightyTogether

Hi, my name is Mici. I'm here because my 13-year-old adopted daughter is having suicidal thoughts, and I don't know how to help her.

#MightyTogether

Hi, my name is Mark. I'm here because my wife suffers from severe depression and suicidal thoughts, and it is tearing my family apart. I'm looking for hope, I guess. She's in such a dark place that I fear I will never get her back. She won't follow through with treatments that seems to me are helping. She has bouts of anger that from the outside seem too extreme for the circumstances.#MightyTogether

I will be turning 60 years old in a few weeks. Since the beginning of the year, I have been feeling more like 80 or 90. I am more tired, sore and mental struggles. It is effecting my everyday life. I haven't been able to work an 8 hour shift for many months. I get physically and mentally exhausted after just after a couple of hours. Luckily, I have been able to work split shifts doing food delivers that I am able to make ends meet but it is difficult.

One issue that has been getting worse is focus and attention. I have a very active, logical mind. My mind is always analyzing, planning, thinking and replaying and is constantly running in the background. It's been happening as long as I can remember. I believe I have #ADHD but have never been diagnosed with it, even though I have always told my doctors this. Because my subconscious mind is so active and automatic, my focus shifts from conscious to subconscious. It doesn't matter what I am doing, driving, in a conversation, writing this article, etc. most of the time I am not aware that the focus has changed. I go into auto pilot. This makes things like multitasking almost impossible for me because with all the things going on in the background already, my mind is full and I become distracted or confused. I have tried meditation and yoga to discipline my mind and body but when it is quiet and without distractions my mind gets even more active and I can't refocus it.

The other thing that has been happening with my mind is it has been giving me false information. I'll give an example. I am driving to a location. I have the GPS directions on with it announcing turns along with a visual map. The voice tells me to turn when I get a certain point but my mind tells me to turn now. So, I turn and now I am on the wrong street and have to backtrack. Another example, I get 2 orders from the same restaurant for 2 different people. I keep them separate and note which one goes where. I get to the first location and my mind tells me to grab this order. So, I grab it and deliver it. It turns out to be the wrong one and I don't realize it until I get to the 2nd location and causes a big problem. Normally you would just look at the order and verify you have the right one. My mind was so sure I had the right one but it was wrong. I have been delivering food a long time. I know to double check these orders and maps but yet my mind is telling it is sure it is right, but it is wrong. Is this just my brain aging? Am I getting #AlzheimersDisease or #Dementia ? Is it some sort of degenerative brain disorder? I don't know but I am greatly concerned. I want to go to the doctor and get checked out but I have really crappy insurance that has a huge deductible I have to meet before it will pay for anything. So, I can't afford to see the doctor.

This is really getting the depression and anxiety worked up. I am really afraid that I am losing my mind. I don't want to end up homeless and in treatment again. The experience was horrible. I have been having suicidal thoughts again. No plans or wanting to act on them but I am really struggling financially and health wise. My quality of life is low and I am feeling like I have gotten everything out of life that I am going to get. Why continue? Again, these are the thoughts. No plans or want to act on them. But, that could change if I start feeling I have nothing left to live for. It sucks to be me right now.
#Depression #Anxiety #Aging #Dementia #ADHD #AlzheimersDisease #SuicidalThoughts

I realized that if my son was to pass away, he is a teenager, it is unlikely, that would be the last thing keeping me on this Earth.
My fiance would not be enough, the rest of my family would not be enough, it would be game over.
Then I had an even worse thought, if I never had him I could have already done it.
I got rid of that thought quickly because I am happy he is here, though I worry he will end up like me.
However, the fact that I don't think my fiance would be enough for me to push on if I lost my son makes me feel really crappy, almost like the only good thing to do would be to break off the relationship now so she can maybe meet someone more stable. I am honest with her about where my head goes, but that creates hurt as well.
I have no idea what to do.

Last week I had a crisis with my mh and experienced intense suicidal thoughts. I managed to keep safe and call my husband home. We called the complex care team who help look after my mh and have an emergency appt with my new psychiatrist, however I have only seen her once before when I was in a stable phase (bipolar2). I'm dreading the dissapoint of "oh no, what happened".
How do I talk to this lady and make it productive?
#MentalHealth #SuicidalThoughts #BipolarDepression #Depression #Anxiety #PTSD

Hi, my name is PoeticOystercatcher3. I'm here because
Suicidal thoughts #MightyTogether