suicide loss

I stumbled across this young man's YouTube video about losing his mom to suicide and feeling guilty by not speaking to her and seeing the signs. I looked at some of his other mental health videos and he is often attacked and being called gay and I found his fb and many people attack him for his mother's death. So I figured I'd post on her to get this young man some love and support.

youtu.be/oTCFc5Y9mGI

#bipolar #MentalHealth #Suicide #SuicideAwareness #SuicideLoss #SuicideLossSurvivor #Survivor #MentalHealthAwareness #BipolarDisorder

I don't know if anyone will ever read my blog or posts. I don't know if anyone will ever care about my story. I don't know if anyone will ever not see me as a criminal and rather see me as a person. But I share my story in hopes that it will one day help one individual.

I’ve been away for a while with dealing with my mom’s suicide, the constant accusation by other’s of killing my mom, and the biggest mental health struggle I have ever been through. I will probably be gone for a while as I battle my mental health and look for the strength to have my voice back and to look not to the past, but to the future, a future where I can not only share my experience with mental health, but also share my experience in dealing with the loss of a loved one from suicide. This struggle I am going through is tough. I constantly feel I could have said something or anything to prevent my mom’s suicide. I feel as though the world will always view me as trash, with the attacks I received when my mom died. More people were worried about sharing my miss fortunes, accusing me of trying to raise money for my criminal activities, and worst of all saying I killed my mom. No one knows the true story or even cares about my side of the story of how her husband didn’t want to get police involved for 48 hours despite an accurate description of her in a news article on Facebook, or the fact that I took financial responsibility for her funeral even though I get no life insurance money, or that while waiting for the cops to come to my house that night that her husband constant said it wasn’t her and that she was having an affair. My mom was an amazing woman, that would do anything for anyone, but more of that to come as I gain my voice back and go head to head with the trolls. But I don’t want to leave you hanging so one quick memory of recent about my mom that ties to so many more. My uncle recently decided he wanted to collect mustard, maple syrup, and honey. So on her days off and often times after work she would travel looking for mustard to send him. IF you told my mom you wanted to be a collector of something, you better be prepared because she was going to make sure you had the best collection. Thank you to those who supported me in the past and to all those in the future as I hope to grow my website into something that can both honor my mom and make a difference in someone’s life.

bipolartater.com/december-21-2023/%3Ctopic%20id= " originalText="https://bipolartater.com/december-21-2023/ "> #SuicideLoss #Depression #Bipolar #BipolarDisoder #mental #MentalHealth

It’s been almost four years since I lost my late fiancé to suicide. I’ve been through so many counselling sessions it’s ridiculous. So many medications. A few attempts myself where I was on ventilators and in icu for weeks at a time with broken ribs from cpr. I have been blamed for this loss by his friends and family. Though I was the only one trying to get him help. I was the only one out looking for him the night he disappeared. I called the cops and reported him missing thirty minutes after he left. I haven’t eaten in two days except a few chips. I just sleep all day. I reached out to my psychiatrist but she hasn’t responded. They know this time of year is hard for me. I just don’t understand why I can’t move on. Why this depression is eating me. I have borderline personality disorder, ptsd, anxiety, and mdd. I feel emotional a lot but I feel like I’m giving up on everything.

I actually have a reason tonight that I can't sleep.
I found out earlier this evening that one of my close friends lost her battle with depression. She chose to stop living.
She left behind 3 kids. 12 yrs old, 6 yrs old and 3yrs old. Her oldest, her daughter, is having her birthday in 2 weeks. She's going to be a teenager. My heart is simply shattered. Not only for the loss of my friend but for her kids.
She had made multiple attempts before and I think I got used to them not working.
I'm numb. I'm so shaken. I have such a huge mixture of feelings. I feel guilty for being angry with her. But I am.
She was my friend. She was my beautiful, beautiful friend.
She had the best laugh. It was so infectious. When she got going (laughing) she couldn't stop. She would laugh so hard her sides would hurt and she would be in tears.
God, im going to miss that laugh.
#Suicide #ChronicDepression #SuicideLoss #MentalHealthAwareness

Hey! I'm a suicide survivor 3x around. I've had a family member and a friend pass away due to suicide. This happened in 2019 and 2020... I attempted September of 2019 after the loss of a bunch of amazing people in my life. Theatre teacher, my loving Grandpa, a good friend committed suicide and blamed me for it in her suicide letter, and the loss of two sweet pets. All over the summer of 2019. I had been struggling for years with severe social anxiety and depression. Mostly on my own too. But a friend urges me to get help and tell my parents about my suicide attempts. They had no idea since the attempts weren't that severe. So I did and that lead me on a 3 year journey of hospitalizations and partial programs and outpatient programs and so many therapists for various mental illness diagnoses. Eating disorders, severe ADHD, major depression disorder, social anxiety, panic disorder, etc. It's now been 2 and a half years (I think? I lost count) since my last suicide attempt. I'm very much alive. Still working on my mental health and stuff cause I've gotten new diagnoses BPD and c-ptsd being most recent. But overall things are improving minus a few bumps in the road. Healing isn't exactly linear but I'm still healing. I've come a long way since 2019 when I attempted suicide. So yeah that's part of my story. Thank you for reading ♥️ #SuicideSurvivor #SuicideLoss