I lost my mom earlier this year, she went into the hospital the 2nd week of January and we lost her February 26th 2021. A day before my daughter's 4th birthday.
Within those weeks of being in the hospital we found out my mom had cancer she had a port put in and started her 1st round of chemo. The worst case senerio happened, her body was not strong enough the chemo made a hole in abdomen. At that point they did what they could and continued to wait to get her white blood cell count up. We found out her cancer was spreading to her liver. We were told she needed to get stronger before the next surgery could happen that day never came.
This all was happening while the pandemic was changing our lives. My mom was in the hospital alone we could not be by her side due to covid. We couldn't risk being the reason why she could be at risk and the hospital wouldn't have allowed it. There my mom was telling us we abandoned her. I would call her but not as much as I should have but I knew my dad was calling her daily. I told myself If anyone should talk to her it was him. She died February 26 around 6pm, I remember getting the call around 4:30pm the doctors wanted us all to rush there. I knew what was going to happen and waited because I wasn't ready. I had my daughter and family kids over. I used them as an excuse. I arrived right after she passed but my dad made it with one of my sisters.
Life has been hard grief changes you in so many ways. I'm learning day by day and also trying to help my 4 year old through the loss of her grandmother.
Just two months before she passed I was lucky enough to have gotten married. I went from being in wedding bliss to a living nightmare. I am still learning how to continue with life as well as still be there for everyone else.