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Semicolon Watercolor Reflections of Raindrops

Watercolor reflections of raindrops semicolon artwork available on products such as phone cases, tote bags, notebooks, t-shirts, and more on my Redbubble shop SemicolonSketch! Let me know if you have any requests for any particular scene inside of a semicolon!

#SuicidePrevention #SuicidePreventionWeek #SuicidePreventionMonth #SuicidePreventionDay #SuicideAwareness #Depression #DepressionAndMentalHealth #DepressionAwarenessWeek #Advocacy #Art

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All the light we can’t always see.

I know what it’s like…
to lose hope
to only see darkness
to wonder if this world is not the place for me
to feel shame
and guilt
for even entertaining the thought.

Choosing to live is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And maybe it’s one of the hardest things you’ve ever done, too.

But I’m glad I kept going. And I want you to keep going, too.

Because there are dogs you have yet to pet
Sunrises you have yet to see
People you have yet to meet
Places you have yet to go
Seasons you have yet to experience
Art you have yet to create
Books you have yet to read
Smells you have yet to smell
Stories you have yet to write
New perspectives you have yet to know
And understanding you have yet to find.

Today is World Suicide Prevention Day. Today, I honor your fight. I honor your sadness and frustration and disappointment and anger. I honor your humanness — in it’s realist, most beautiful form.

Whether you believe it right now or not…
You are a light
even when you can't see it
You are important
even when you don't feel like it
Your story matters
And I’m proud of you for deciding to stay
and write the pages of your story
even with they're hard
each and every day.

#WorldSuicidePreventionDay #SuicidePrevention #SuicidePreventionDay #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #Selfharm #EatingDisorders #BipolarDisorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #ChronicIllness #DailyReminder #keepgoing #Recovery #IfYouFeelHopeless #CheckInWithMe

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The Last Time I Attempted Suicide #SuicidePrevention #SuicidePreventionDay

In honor of Suicide Prevention Day I'm putting myself out there and sharing something from a dark time in my life when I didn’t think I could handle the pain any longer. This is a letter I wrote on December 10, 2009 at 1:45am just before I attempted to end my own life.

It's been almost 10 years since that night and I'm so thankful God let me survive. I never would have imagined I would be here 10 years later doing all that I am. The very things that made me want to take my life back then are the very things I share with people when I speak and for some it helps them hang on and get the help they need because through sharing my experiences they’re able to see that there is hope. You are worth living for! #Survivor #SurvivorWarrior #CPTSD #HumanTrafficking

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Mini Therapy Sessions with Myself - Vol. II

So today is #SuicidePreventionDay .

As I write this on this early morning, as I do on many other days of the week, I think to myself about why I didn’t do it, even though I felt like I wanted to, during so many moments in my life.

The more obvious answer is because a.) there was always some glimmer of hope – however dim it may have been – that the future would be better, and b.) because I know my family would be left in enormous pain. My mom, in particular, would likely be emotionally devastated beyond repair, and I wouldn’t want that.

But when I look back on it, I’m not sure that was all of it. I think part of it, to put it simply, was because I was too afraid.

As I was writing “A Therapy Session with Myself”, and writing a specific scene involving a decision the character based on me ponders, that much was clear to me. I could feel the fear in that character’s emotions, as I was writing him in the first draft, but it took me until then to realize that I myself often felt that same fear once before, and that was a large part of what was holding me back.

To be clear, I was not afraid of dying, necessarily. Rather, I was afraid of dying a miserable death after a short life that likely had little impact or significance on this world. It’s a vicious paradox, if you will: Wanting to have lived a life that had some meaning to it, but not wanting to continue going through the stresses, anxiety, and loneliness that comes with human existence.

Maybe I’m wrong, but my personal perception has always been that there’s not much point in life, if you can no longer find your place and meaning in it…which is exactly what I’ve searching for over the past decade, and is exactly what’s led me to this stage in life.

Thankfully, as I often say, I do feel better about myself than I did, in times past. I don’t always feel great, but I do feel okay. Okay enough, at least, to be able to look back more objectively on how I’ve felt and thought in times past, and to try and raise awareness through my plays and articles for mental health awareness and suicide prevention. When “A Therapy Session with Myself” premieres in January, hopefully that will further help this important discussion, which needs to be happening more in society.

We’ll see…


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