I got a job. Well-paid job. My anxiety and stress levels in high. The boss always tells me how badly I do my job, even when she was the one that made the mistake. Zero accountability from her side. I am tired. Her attitude drains my energy. I like what I do. I love my job but not her attitude.
I have no better option that pays me better.. I stay there because I need the money. :(
I am tired and stressed and all I want to do is stay on the couch watching Netflix. And I cannot tell people that I don't feel like going out because I am tired and stressed.
The other day I told a friend and that went bad. There are always people with "savior syndrome", trying to "rescue me" by giving out-of-context unsolicited advice, unuseful advice that only makes me feel more stressed.
Is like suddenly police of the emotions appeared from nowhere, requesting me a plan to do better, a plan to feel better in a certain amount of time. Requesting me a plan to handle the situation better. And asking me later about "improvements" and why I am still in that job. And why I haven't quit.. well... the answer is very simple... I am hungry, I have bills to pay, and I cannot quit now. Then they ask if I am earning good money, and I say yes, then start to inquire why I haven't bought a car and judge my minimal lifestyle. :(
Is exhausting that people want me to tell them a long speech or a long doctoral thesis explaining why I feel that way and why I don't quit.
I hope they know I only want relief expressing "I am tired", and all I need to hear is "ok, I feel you" ... for now I suffer in silence.
Thanks for reading.