My doctor approved a 2 month medical leave for me, starting March 15. It has been a journey with a lot of feelings of guilt and shame along the way. On May 1, I went to meet with my boss to talk about returning to work that week with the necessity of having a written job description (which I had never had). She said she wasn't expecting me back until May 15 and that she couldn't provide a job description for me until May 12.
I had been thinking about leaving my job since January, but this was the final straw for me. I felt so devalued and shamed by her words and decision, even though I know she didn't mean it that way based on our past relationship and communication. So, I sent her an email yesterday giving my reasons and expressing my choice to resign.
I have felt trapped in this job - trapped into accepting the promotion in the first place, trapped in the everyday tasks of the job, trapped into staying in the job, and even trapped in poor mental health because of the job. This is one of the big challenges of navigating poor mental health and work - I tend to become very passive and let things happen to me rather than actively making decisions or choosing what I want/need. And then I get into a destructive cycle.
I chose to work for this company because I thought it was a manageable role, but it didn't work out that way. It makes it hard to feel optimistic about future job options when this carefully chosen job didn't work out. My therapist is telling me things aren't as hopeless as I feel, but it is difficult when I see this history of the past ten years of becoming increasingly less capable of keeping up with work duties and having to continually accept less and less responsibilities in order to cope with life.
I don't know what I am going to do, but there are a lot of minimum wage jobs open right now, so I'll probably do something in the service industry for now. I really don't want to stay in this city, so quitting my job also cuts the major tie that I have to this place. My anxiety has been super high all day and it feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest.
#CheckInWithMe #Job #Work #Career #MedicalLeave #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #Trauma #future #movingon
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In a society that’s wired for productivity, it’s impossible to avoid the dreaded question, “BuT wHaT dO yOu DoOoOo?”
In this week’s episode of Table Talk, Skye, Ashley, and Kat take a funemployment deep dive into why health conditions complicate that question and what we’d like our mother’s favorite cousin to ask instead.
🎧 podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/mighty-table-talk/episodes/W...
#CheckInWithMe #Job #CheerMeOn #DistractMe #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression #ChronicPain #ChronicIllness #Disability #RareDisease
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There is a photo I took the other day from the car. I looked up and snapped the photo as we drove. I felt like it was as my husband called it "Is that the Gate to Heaven?"
I thought about #Grief and #Loss and how I #MISS my #Dad . It has not been an easy year. But 2023 looks a little more promising. It does not feel complete without my Father being around anymore. But, I know that I have many more things I need to do that I have to focus on.
I am #Trying to keep a #Job now that I have found one. I just started it and already my hours have been slashed. {Sigh} I don't know what to do. The hours are cut because the business is slow, and there is a desperate need for more students to come to the learning center for tutoring otherwise.. we may not have jobs much longer.
5 reactions I've been sick for the past ten days (sinus infection) and took all of last week off work. Now I have to go back tomorrow and my anxiety is quite high. My whole body is aching and sore and I have a headache. It's like my body is saying, "Noooooo!"
I know that everything will be significantly behind and piled up because even before I got sick, my boss was away so I was covering both our positions. I feel so stressed just thinking about it.
I had my first session with my new career counselor today. She very quickly recognized significant symptoms of burn out and her recommendation is to get a doctor's note for a medical leave of at least a month in length. I have already been thinking about quitting my job, so this throws another option into the mix.
Since the beginning of the year, I took one week off for vacation and now two weeks off (the other was in January) for illness. That means I have worked for 5 weeks out of 8 weeks in 2023. And I'm so exhausted! I need to make a plan for leaving this job as soon as possible.
#Anxiety #Depression #Burnout #MentalHealth #Job #Work #Career #Counseling #MedicalLeave #Quit #tired
4 reactions I have issues staying at my job, and funny part I’m a psychologist and my jobs area is education with special kids and it’s been hard trying to think why I work with kids that speak up what they think straight up or if they are non verbal they will make you know what they want and with time it’s been hard for me. I want a job where I’m valued and that my hard work is valued and improve in every way.
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I messed up big time this morning and I’m upset, it was supposed to be my ticket out of the situation I’m in :/
I had an interview but assumed it was on my time, needless to say it wasn’t and I missed it by 20 minutes.
I’m really bummed and now have to go back to the drawing board. I hate having to start all the way back at square one. I don’t feel like I can even talk to my parents becuase everyone was so excited for me. I’m so embarrassed.
☹️
#ChronicDepression #Depression #Anxiety #Job #CheckInWithMe
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(Photo from my recent vacation)
Having recently come to the conclusion that I cannot continue in my current #Job beyond the next 5 months, I have been stuck in swirling #Uncertainty . My job is making my mental health worse, but poor mental health makes it very difficult to look for a new job.
Last week, my therapist suggested that I consider working with a career counselor to help me work through some of my questions and challenges. I just had a free consultation call with a potential counselor, and I think I might go forward with it.
Naturally, it is even *more* expensive than my regular therapist, but she seems to have a system where she feels confident about what can be accomplished in her packages of 3 sessions or 10 sessions. I tend to have the view that my situation is just so complicated that no one could possibly help me break through all the muck and mire that quickly, but I recognize that that view may not be accurate.
I know that I need to do something different because just continuing to do the same thing has not helped me gain any forward momentum . I'm a bit afraid to spend so much money and just end up back where I started. I know part of that is the #Depression talking - "everything is bad and nothing will ever get better" - but it is a difficult mindset to overcome when trying to make a #Decision .
Have any of you ever worked with a career counselor? What was your experience like? Would you recommend it?
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My mom just doesn’t get it. Last night I was telling her about how I’m nervous at the though of going back to school and how even though I’m nervous now I’ll have a better more fulfilling future waiting for me than currently at my dead end job.
Suddenly she goes off about how I need an ‘it’s a wonderful life’ experience becuase I’ve touched the lives of so many and don’t even know or understand.
She completely missed the point and I’m upset. I absolutely hate my current job it’s only saving grace are the people I work with on most days. I wasn’t even talking about my life like ‘it’s a wonderful life’ I was talking about school and making a better more positive life for myself…
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I took a week off work for my recent trip (see previous posts), and then got sick over the weekend and have barely worked this week so far. The thing is, I don't want to go back.
I think I figured out today what the main issue is: I understood that 90% of my role would be centred on certain tasks and responsibilities (that I wanted to do), but that is working out to be only about 20% of it. I did ask for a job description before accepting this role 1.5 years ago (I have been a bit slow to process how I'm feeling about my job haha), but my boss said she didn't really follow it. Honestly, if the ratio was even 50-50, I would be more OK with it. My boss has been in her role for almost 30 years, so she is unlikely to shift the way she does things at this point.
So, here's what I'm thinking of doing. I know that it is going to be difficult to hire a replacement for me (one of our other locations has been looking for two years), and I also don't have another job lined up or even know what to apply for. My thought is to tell my boss that she should start looking for a replacement, but that I will stay until the end of quarter 2 (June 30) if she needs me. This way, both of us have space to explore what we need, but I at least have a definite end date.
Is this a good idea or am I just drawing things out unnecessarily? (Note that while talking about other job options with my sister yesterday I had to cut the conversation off because my anxiety got so bad I almost couldn't breathe.) I don't see my therapist until next week, but we have talked about my stress about work before many times.
#Work #Job #Responsibility #Quit #movingforward #MentalHealth #Depression #Anxiety #ComplexPosttraumaticStressDisorder
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