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    Music is my therapy

    I listen to music almost all the time. And just to warn you, I’m going to be singing along. (I have a good voice though) My kids complain about it (13,17 both boys and both on the Spectrum but at completely different levels. I suspect that I’m autistic #Autism so I understand why certain things bother them. It doesn’t matter if it’s their favorite song playing, they insist that I turn it down (one seems to have super hearing because he’ll be on the computer (which is between all of the bedrooms and all of the doors are to remain shut) WITH headphones on, and I’ll be on my bed listening to my #Music and possibly singing, and then I’ll hear one of my sons yelling “Turn it down!” And I have to turn it down to where I can barely hear it or put my headphones on. And when I yell to one of my kids from the same place I had been playing music, they yell back “If you’re trying to talk to me then come out here!” Or they knock on the door and I yell “Come in!” And they reply, “What? I can’t understand what you’re saying! Can I open the door?” But my music is WAY TOO LOUD. And then I’m going, but you like Slipknot! And they always say that they don’t want to hear it right now.

    So I go out to the porch with a speaker and I can blast my music outside. Music was one of the only things that would calm down our feral #Cat (we’ve had him since he was 5 weeks old and his mother was rejecting him) but he was just amazed at the sounds coming out of my cell phone and stop using his teeth and claws when we had him in the bed. (Side note- no matter how young the feral cat is, and how used to humans they are, they are still wild animals and you have to take time to tame them) His favorite band was #tool . He would actually curl up on the phone and listen.
    I have several chronic illnesses and emotional issues—#Ehlers -Danlos Syndrome type 3, #Fibromyalgia , #idiopathic peripheral neuropathy,#Dysautonomia and I’m being evaluated for #Lupus and #rheumatoid arthritis (EDS likes to bring friends), and I have a small cyst on my pancreas that could turn cancerous (my grandfather, great grandmother and my great uncle [my grandfather’s brother and g-grandmother’s son] all died of #pancreatic cancer. I have a bunch of #nodules on my liver and my #thyroid , #Migraines AND #cluster headaches, #hashimotos , and I suspect #Celiac disease since my mother and nephew have it and it would explain a whole lot (right now I’m cutting out dairy, then wheat, then soy-which is difficult because I’m a #Vegetarian ) plus my mental illnesses, #PTSD , #Bipolar disorder,#Anxiety and depression—and those last two are actually a CRITERIA for #EDS .
    I have to have my music and be able to listen to it—before I had ear pods, I would just play it on my phone with it stuck upside down in my bra. The music that is played in stores that I have to go to will actually give me a #Migraine so I don’t have any problems with bothering other people by playing my favorite playlist. They need to be exposed to good music anyway.
    I loved that I had a Bluetooth radio in my car, and I would have it turned up loud, and when I was smoking (I just quit!) I would have the a/c blasting (I live in #austin #texas , so it’s running year round) and I would have my window down for my cigarette. And this way I could expose people to good music (if I had a chance to say just 5 words to the country, it would be “ STOP LISTENING TO SH*TTY MUSIC”(seriously, what’s with all the smut in popular music today?)) and possibly find another person that enjoyed the bands that I play.
    My number one song for my bad days is #invincible by #tool and this song has been my anthem. Also, A Perfect Circle’s #feathers , another #tool song, #thepatient (can you tell that I’m a big fan of Maynard James Keenan? I have everything that he’s released on my phone) and when I’m dealing with my #PTSD , there’s nothing like The (Dixie) Chick’s “Not Ready to Make Nice “and L7’s “Sh*tlist” and a whole lotta Hole.
    I’m into a lot of different genres, but mainly #Metal and #Punk (not pop punk! I don’t call that punk. It’s alternative.). And if I’m not in a motorized cart, having a good day, and I can see the security camera, then I’ll start dancing along the aisle (but not with other customers in it unless I can tell that they’re a punky/gothy/metal head/freak and then I’m talking bands with them.
    #Music has also been a way for me to meet people with similar tastes. I can’t go to listen to live music or go to a concert because of my #Dysautonomia . I don’t think that they would let me bring in a couple gallons of Gatorade. But I also made a battle vest with band patches and tons of band buttons (mainly punk bands and metal) and people will comment about this or that band, and ask what my favorite album is and my favorite song by that band (I know at least one song by each band and I’ll either name the song that is considered the best or an obscure song by a band that is mainly associated with just one song (like the Sex Pistols—I like the song “Pretty Vacant”) because I don’t just listen to one song, because you’re going to miss out on so many great songs that weren’t played on the radio.
    This is what I collect. Music. Musicians. And I’ll research them and tell people obscure things about that musician or band-like that during a Nirvana concert, Kurt Cobain saw a girl being sexually assaulted in the audience and he didn’t say a word but put down his guitar, grabbed the guy and hung him from his belt loop on a prop so everyone could see him and then Kurt went back to his chair and as he was picking up his guitar he said into the microphone while looking towards the guy and said “Now you get to be exposed.” Not the only time a musician has come to the rescue of a fan.
    If I’m not listening to my music, that’s a signal that I’m extremely depressed. Because it’s such a part of my coping methods when I’m dealing with pain or exhaustion or anxiety or depression or dehydration or nightmares. I’m not savvy enough to post my parts of my favorite playlist, but for anyone who is dealing with a #chronic illness that has changed their entire life (which one doesn’t?) I highly recommend listening to TOOL’s #invincible from the Fear Inoculum album. And if you’re dealing with #PTSD , listen to A Perfect Circle’s #feathers . That song is like Maynard’s supporting you in your recovery.

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    I hate it here.

    Living in Texas with

    anxiety, especially medical anxiety, is a fucking train wreck. If you're struggling with greg abbott's decision to open texas 100% and remove the mask mandate tomorrow, you're not alone. So many Texans have not been offered the opportunity to even have their first dose of a vaccine before this 0 warning announcement was made. At risk workers still have to report to work and rely on their fellow citizens to do the right thing and wear a mask anyway. I see you, and I'm sorry this is happening. #texas #medicalanxiety  #Anxiety #COVID19

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    Tired

    So I literally Canmore remember the last time I was not tired. Maybe need some more caffeine and fresh air. This Texas weather is throwing out degrees like lottery ticket numbers. -1 degrees to 70 degrees in a week. Too much. #Anxiety #texas #Depression

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    Let us pray for Texas# prayer#texas #Winter #storm

    We have people on this site from Texas. They are in a frightful situation because of this unusual winter storm with freezing temperatures. Let us pray for them and the people of Texas, that help with come immediately from other states and / or federal government. Please prayer no matter your faith or beliefs. Thank you.

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    Texas Winter Storm

    CW: Fear, storm, death

    Ice on the bathtubs and frost on the toilets

    Towels beneath doorframes and plastic on windows

    Texans are freezing and they need some heroes

    All huddled up in a bed loaded with quilts

    While ERCOT and Abbott have fun trading guilt

    Delayed boil water notices and untreated roads

    No electricity to boil the snow

    PUC gave us price increases

    To compensate for their errors

    While we are scared and begging for someone to help us
    People are dying in the street and in houses

    When the pipes burst

    When the house floods

    When the ceiling falls

    Perry says the most unhelpful of things

    And ONCOR stopped answering calls


    Melody is for attention only. None of this is happy or funny. Our leaders and government completely failed Texas. #texas #winterstorm #Anxiety #Fear

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    The Thoughts of Tiffany Intro

    Hi my name is Tiffany! Welcome to THE THOUGHTS OF TIFFANY! I’ve been diagnosed with Depression and Generalized Anxiety. I’ve been dealing with this disorders as a kid but never got the proper diagnosis or treatment till recently that I decided to reach out for help. This topic is rarely talked about and unfortunately many people are misguided and uneducated. Let’s change peoples perspective of Mental Health. This is the reason why I decided to open this blog to raise mental health awareness and welcome you all in my journey of healing. Let’s spread Mental Health Knowledge around the world. You’re not alone! Talk to someone or reach out to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255 or the National Hopeline Network at 1-800-784-2433. Read my first blog in Wordpress, website is ...... www.thethoughtsoftiffany.home.blog
    Also follow me on Instagram @thethoughtsoftiffany
    #Anxiety #Depression #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #DepressiveDisorders #MentalHealth #breakthestigma #houston #texas #mentalhealthblog #blogger