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Struggling with PTSD financial crisis

I can't work for abusive people anymore. Nearly every job I've had is toxic to traumatizing. I'm trying to sell my art directly, but overwhelmed with the business side and shutting down with high PTSD symptoms. I am applying for disability again, but it's not solving food and shelter now. I need help!I can't make rent again. I'm alone and drowning facing eviction every month.

#CPTSD #developmentaltrauma #Disabled #housingcrisis #toxicworkplace #ChronicDepression #exhausted #toxicfamily

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My little win for this weekend - still working at it.

I was once in a work environment that fed off our fears and made everyone competitive. I remember feeling I had to be at work all the time to know what was going on. As someone with BPD, it fed off my fear of invalidation. I had a boss who was great but it also affected him. His insecurities became something I wanted to fight for too.

I look back and realize how toxic it was for me - I ended up in a dark place (lots of people left, but it affected me the most). I left but was never in a good headspace since when it came to work cause I did tie my job to my self worth.

The pattern continued in other jobs - especially when I was being marginalised (it was a fact but my bpd amplified it. Anyway, my last job was boring but had great working hours, but I found myself back in an invalidating environment but not the worst. One incident tipped me over and I went to find a new job. But I’ve been a wreck about going to it.

I started my new role and I’ve had a huge amount of fear cause of my past and imposter syndrome. BUT I’m proud of the fact I’ve set boundaries. I don’t put Slack on my phone, I’ve been clear about my start and end times, I got an assignment on Friday and my boss said to look at it Monday AND I AM. I am not going to work over the weekend on it to prove myself. It’s difficult cause I keep wanting to think about it but I push it away. My productivity isn’t part of my worth.
#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Anxiety #toxicworkplace


When you call out of work due to a panic attack...

"..... that gives you a couple hours to try & relax your body... "

"... have you scheduled a Dr. Appt & had your anxiety looked into to get medication for this... "

THOSE words were told to me this morning as I was experiencing a panic attack & calling out of work.

Grant it, my attendance is NOT the greatest due to my anxiety & other reasons, but for some reason these words triggered me some.

I'm NOT a medication person. I'd rather go natural or let it run its course. & that has caused so much debate with whomever I share my story with.

I've only seen the Dr once & in all honesty, I felt like it was a waste. Have not been back since. Again, causes a huge debate with whomever I'm talking with.

My anxiety/panic attacks have no schedule. They show up unannounced. They don't have a set speed. Some are mild. While others are extreme. Like todays. My body felt numb. My head was pounding. Nauseous feeling. Eyes burning. All I wanted to do was lay in bed. I work 30 mins away from my house & have to drive the freeway. There's no way I'm taking that chance of driving. I've done it before. Was the scariest time of my life thus far.

This job has been the toughest with ppl & them judging ones story. Refusing to educate themselves on certain issues. Quick to jump to conclusion. Very toxic. Today just showed me that some management needs to read up on mental illness & how to approach/respond to individuals who don't need to be belittled during an attack.

Am I the only one who feels like this? I feel I am. Maybe. Who knows.

I just needed to vent while I'm feeling a bit better.. carry on!

#Anxiety #Depression #Migraines #CheckInWithMe #Chatspace #PanicAttacks #toxicworkplace

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Hello everyone! Im starting to do a podcast just talking about toxic workplace and I haven't built up my questions yet. Can you suggest any questions that I could ask for my guest?




Hello everyone! Im planning to do a podcast about toxic workplace but I still dont have any questions built up. Can you suggest any questions to ask for my guest?


Should I turn down this job

I’ve bee offered a job but it plays less that what I can afford to pay bills and necessities. No health insurance. I also work in. A toxic environment, where I have anxiety and panic daily. Where I see others bullied. Animals not bieng taken care of properly. But I get paid we’ll and Christmas bonus. Although no benefits at all , my boss dosent believe in them. #Work #toxicworkplace

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Clap for your own damn self 👏🏼

Today was good.
I did the majority of the work without many offers of help and I did the very best I could.
I contributed to our team’s workload while also completing the tasks required for my own projects.
I completed my own work without taking away time to help everyone else.

Today was no different than yesterday.
No acknowledgement was given. No encouragement. I asked questions that were met with the same discouraging looks. My answers were given hurriedly and with a tone of annoyance.

But I worked alone, as I do everyday, to turn those answers into solutions. I used them to pave a way for my own success. A success no one seems to want for me and a success reaped from a work ethic that remains to be unappreciated.

They didn’t clap for me.
They never do.

But I clapped for myself.
And I did so for the first time.

I hope you clapped for yourself too ❤️ #ToxicPeople #toxicworkenvironment #toxicworkplace #Anxiety #Depression #NegativeThoughts #beyourownadvocate #loveyourself #Improudofyou

Note: photo is not mine


Handling work and home life with mental health problems #Anxiety #toxicworkplace #Depression #Fatigue #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Stress

I hate being a slave to the mandatory thing called work. You know the daily 8-5. I work somewhere that I am invaluable, management doesn’t care about anything but crunching numbers. I answer to angry clients calls, while a million emails with reports to be due yesterday and a whole lot of anxiety provoking scenarios. I work in a human service field but work in a place governed by seems like republicans. We have no support as workers. I been invested into my job so I don’t want to leave it but it’s leaving me no choice. I am chronically fatigued and never enjoy my outside of work life anymore, I am having a difficult time with chores and self care right now


#MightyPoets #toxicworkplace #Depression

You go to work
In your empty space
No one speaks to you
Your heart doesn't seem to pace

They let you stand quietly
Alone in your work mode
Don't notice that something isn't right
That everything around you turns cold

And every morning you wake
Tears behind your eyes
Wondering if it would be a mistake
To shut of your phone and hide

Pretend coworkers won't reprimand you
For leaving them to do more work
You’re suppose to the pawn they dump everything onto
No. they don't know how much it hurts

How much it hurts to walk in
Everyday and be told to do more
To be better, how my light has gone dim
And I'm not sure if I can shuffle through the door

You can try to explain
To tell them you're dying
But those excuses fall into the lane
Of those who are constantly lying

So everyday you get out of bed
Wiping off the sleep tho you want more
Set your smile so you don’t match the dead

And this is your life now leaving work more broken than the day before
- [ ]


Should i leave my job? #Anxiety #toxicworkplace

I was diagnosed with anxiety and going through a rough time adjusting after a failed fertility procedure. It has affected me at work as I'm very withdrawn. Recently I noticed my colleagues pass sarcastic remarks about me. I don't like interacting with people and find myself avoiding any form of interaction. I don't know if its the workplace or I just need help. It has been going on for a long time and I notice that I'm not performing well at work. Should I leave my job?