My relatives in my extended family showed their true colors after I was in a financial crunch. From passive aggressive comments, to aversion to having to spend time with me, their hypocritical, jealous, and real selves came to light after I began to experience a financial crunch. They began to avoid spending time with me, and would be unhappy when I was around them, visited them, travelled with them, or was a guest at their house.
I feel deeply hurt and betrayed by their hypocrisy and lack of genuine relationship. In their eyes, I was only useful to be around while I was working. Otherwise, I had no use for them and wouldn’t be of any benefit.
I have cut ties with nearly all of these hypocritical relatives. They are not part of my present, but I am personally quite offended by their utter hypocrisy, rejection, and social climbing with which they viewed a relationship with me to begin with.
I think I have a Hero complex, does anybody else feel this way? Whenever things go arwy, I have this compulsion to want to rush in and save the day. Even if it means me loosing myself in the process. It's almost as if I feel pieces of me being cut out like a dessert or a steak. How do you move past that?
Just had to tell someone. I’ve had an unhealthy relationship with my mother and stepfather for years I’ve just put up with but this week it got to the point I can’t take anymore, so we stopped talking. I feel relieved. I may reconnect with my
Mother down the road, but they haven’t been supportive of my health issues and I’ve been a great daughter. They never appreciated me. They’re going through another toxic separation and maybe divorce and at 34 yrs old I want no part of it. I was part of the last one and it sucked. My mom bombards me with constant negativity each day through texts I wake up to. She got rid of the dog I gave her after complaining no one visited enough so she needed a dog. She doesn’t examine her own behavior when truthfully both her and her husband are wretched. They never supported my journey in getting better and just acted like I was in the way. I’m finally done with the abuse and toxicity. I don’t really care if I ever see them again. #ToxicPeople #Toxicmom #toxicfamily
Not everyone we are surrounded by are there for us during our Low points in life. Indeed, some just want to be around you when you’re their definition of successful. It doesn’t matter if you’re sick, you’re going through loss, or have been a bit depressed. They just want to be near you when you’re successful.
I discovered this about people I had been close to and regarded as trusted relatives for several years now. It is and was a massive let down to me personally. I had thought that they would be much more supportive of me during my tough times, but they weren’t, alas.
I am constantly looking to weed out fairweather persobs from
my social circle and many are a little easier or unsurprising to let go of than close relatives. But having a close relative let you down like this makes you feel as if they are a Jekyll and Hyde personality.
They feel foreign and alien, as if you never knew them. As if you had only been in their life because it was convenient for them and not because they wanted to forge a healthy, stable and lasting bond. It was sad to see them this detached from healthy connection and this attached to material success. I found it deeply, utterly, extremely sad. It made me realise that even the closest and most trustworthy people can let you down bitterly, with very little success in the ability to recognise their true nature in time for you to avoid being emotionally hurt by what happened.
I felt shamed, let down, ignored and generally cast aside. It made me realise that they weren’t concerned about me. They were concerned about my labels, and nothing more. I didn’t matter to them when I was depressed, exhausted and tired. I mattered to them when I had what they considered to be successful.
It was sad and pathetic watching them glue themselves to materialism rather than genuine connection. It made me see how empty they have become and how sad it is that they, on the inside, have no real self worth and self empowerment.
It was also clear that their ability to be a helpful, kind and extremely healthy relative has disappeared. It wasn’t there. There was attachment to qualities and not definitions of relationships, but definitions of success.
They remain attached to these things as if they are long lasting. As if they are immune to distress, failure and challenges in life. As if they won’t have life throw a curveball their way, which they can only resolve by unpacking everything they had kept repressed and silent for years. They remain attached to success despite being less than successful, and not even close to worthy in their own eyes.
They remain selfish and self obsessed, without being people that forge healthy bonds with others. It is only clear and fair to say that to build the highway towards authentic self worth and self empowerment, such people need to pack up from my life.
I've decided to cut toxic people from my life and in that list is my brother and my mom is mad at me because of this.
She keeps playing the hurt card and how we should all be a happy family, and even though I try explaining that no, I'm not going to acknowledge him until he stops being an asshole and apologizes for everything he's done until now, and changes for real this time.
Because I've tried several times in the past being the bigger person, but it only ends up with me having anxiety attacks and my depression getting worse and I'm not willing to sacrifice any more of my mental health just for my brother to be part of my life if he doesn't want to be.
I'm pretty sure now, if my parents are toxic people. I thought my mom full of drama (always want to be right, don't wanna know about her fault/don't wanna criticise, she was very ashamed if my father wanna angry at public/fight at the public but i remembered when i was child, she let my father beat me but when i told her again about that, she was angry and then said "you must know, every parents wanna give the best for their child and that is good for you". I gave her a lot of criticise even the religious words when i was religious person but she many many times refused. My father was abusive physical and verbal person. But i was trying to understand cause he has diabetes.)
And me, i was trying to get into university &institute this year but 3 test failed. But then my third test for get into institute succeed but as a Reserve participants and i didn't read that massage from another my phone almost 1 month, but my third test is indepent way to get into that one instotute, i choosed this institute again when the first test done. The second test forced by my mom. The first test we must write two kind of university&institute or just different major. My mom was angry because the first choice was far from my hometown.
Actually, i have chronic illness, my last doctor said i'm not spondyloarthropathy but SLE. And i thought i have mental illness too but still didn't reach the psychiatrist. But my parents agreed and wanna bring me there after a long time i discused about this.
But if i get into college this year i'm still skeptical. Although i got diagnosed Autoimmune, i'm still flare and i thought i didn't match with the doctor. And my mental issue still mystery cause i still didn't come to the expert. But what if i go to the mental expert, and then they can't fix like my rheumatologist?
#toxicfamily #toxicparents #ToxicPeople