traumatherapy

Anyone else start anticipating therapy days in advance and become debilitated by the thought of having to talk about what broke you?

I could use a little love and reassurance right now :(

#Anxiety #traumatherapy #isanyoneoutthere

wouldn’t it be nice to have a hotline for everything we face in regards to our illnesses and the unwanted pain that has been inflicted upon us. we didn’t ask for sickness, pain, confusion, rape, unhappy childhoods, or the many scars on our bodies or in our minds. I believe in a Higher Power because He/She/It is doing mighty healing works in my body, mind, and soul. I am so grateful that I am being shown Light in the Darkness. Everything that has been done in the DARKNESS WILL ONE DAY BE EXPOSED THE LIGHT. I’m believing/knowing that this, too, will one day help all of us. The work is tiring to get up and be healed but IT IS WORTH IT!

10/02/2020
I had my first EMDR session today! it was really good. i have known the therapist for a few years now and she is absolutely lovely and i feel very safe and comfortable with her. I have installed my ‘safe place’ this morning and I didn’t think it would work but I felt so safe and comfortable and relaxed. I know this was the nice week and it is just going to get tougher from here on in but I am excited to get going with it.

#Anxiety #Depression #PTSD #PersonalityDisorders

I started exposure therapy. I relapsed with self harm after 92 days. I’ve been really struggling with how much I’ve been eating or not eating. And now tonight I purged. I see my therapist tomorrow and I’m nervous to tell him all this. What if he puts me in the hospital? I do not want to go, but at the same time maybe it would be the best thing for me. #ExposureTherapy #traumatherapy #EatingDisorders #Selfharm #Stress

I was sexually assulted when I was 13 https://y.o by a teatcher. At the time I didn't tell anyone. 2 months after the first insident I was gang-raped by at least 5 of my "friends". There was a party and a lot of alcohol and people so there could have been more guys than 5. i just don't know/remember.
A little over a year ago I was commited to a psych ward after I got diagnosed with #MajorDepressiveDisorder for 2 months. While there I told my now therapist about my traumas. I'm still working with her. #traumatherapy sucks but it has helped me come to terms with the flashbacks and constant nightmares.
I bad been released from the hospital for a few weeks when I got a call from my sister-in-law that my husband had died in a car accident on his way to her house on the 18th of December last year.
So I'm really struggling right now. All the intense trauma flashbacks, nightmares every f*cking night, the anniversary of my husband's death and m*therf*cking Christmas holidays coming up. All of this just sucks balls and I'm tired of it all. I feel like I've been done wrong and all I need is my husband by my side. I need him to be okay and at home with me.
I'm just so done with everything. I don't want to do this anymore, live like this.
#Depression #CPTSD #PTSD #Anxiety #Mourning #tiredoffighting #exhausted

New here...Does anyone else suffer #Dermatillomania and/or #Onychotillomania /compulsive nail picking 😩😩 my left pointer finger..I'm so embarrassed and try to hide my hand all the time so others don't notice it, I've picked it half way down the nail bed and until it bleeds and hurts 😭 I can't stop and sometimes don't even realize I'm doing it...depression and anxiety and in #traumatherapy due to unresolved long-term #ChildhoodSexualAbuse 💔

Has anyone been through this for trauma therapy? My therapist wants to try hand buzzers but says it will be intense and I’m unsure what to expect and wary to try it... #traumatherapy

This one is going to be hard for me to get through. Up until recently my struggles have been dealing with being abandoned. Dealing with my parents addictions and as a result their inability to keep me safe. I thought that was all to my story. I thought once I started make peace with their addictions and the abandonment that I would be whole again. But for sometime I have been struggling with my appearance. Am I fat? Am I ugly? Trying to find a balance between being happy and being healthy. But always feeling that my worth is somehow tied to my appearance, to my sexual appeal. I want to say I am the kind of person who has confidence in myself, but I don't. I often find myself asking those around me to compare me to other woman and their shapes because I am unsure of mine. I am not sure what I look like. I had a photo taken of me recently, and immediately I hated it. I revisited the photo a few days later and saw it differently.  I didn't love the photo but I liked it much more. It looked different.

This happens often. I just don't know what I look like. I look at myself in the mirror and sometimes I am not sure what or who is looking back at me.

Ever heard the saying, "I didn't know what I didn't know." This sums me up in so many ways. I didn't know people didn't feel this way. I didn't know to mention it because I didn't know that it was important or worth mentioning. I didn't know that people didn't know what they looked like. I don't know when I am hungry until I am starving. I don't know when I am tired until I am exhausted. My systems only alert me when they are in the red and all alarms are going off. I didn't know that this wasn't normal. 

Walking into therapy today, I wanted to address my confidence in my appearance. I never thought that we would talk about how my body was violated. Today my therapist said, "a lot of people who were physically and sexually violated as a child have difficulty seeing themselves." I immediately said, FULL STOP, that wasn't me. But that's not true, I was. That was me. This body I live in was physically and sexually assaulted. This same body. I may have shed some skin, hair and nails, but this body, this body has endured sexual and physical assault. And ignoring that hasn't served me. It's time for me to give my body love and praise for enduring pain. I must try to be aware of my body. Be in my body. And realize that when I am feeling powerless that it is no longer true. I am in my body now. I have all the power over my body. I can run away, I can hit and punch and defend myself now. It may be the same body but I am no longer in danger. And I am in control of this body. 

#Anxiety #TraumaSurvivors #traumatherapy #Abuse