Alwaystired

Yesterday I saw my PCP and after 5 years since I heard term, I am being sent to Mass Gen to meet the genetics team about #EhlersDanlos . You never hope to be sick for a diagnosis but man, what a relief it will be to have a name for all the crap I go through on a daily basis. #hopingforanswers #Alwaystired #alwaysinpain

Hi everyone! I’m new to this group and so happy I found it. After all, being a “beddie” is so isolating for many of us. My cat Jerry keeps me company much of the time, but I’ve never really had a community of people that understand what it’s like.

A bit about myself, I have struggled with depression and anxiety much of my life (I’m 30 year old female). My family and home environment growing up was a major contributor as I always felt I needed to fend for myself and didn’t have unconditional love. Later in life I’ve learned the extent of the emotional abuse I endured as a child and that continues to this day. I went no contact with my parents to in 2020 and have since lost all 3 of my siblings.

At 25 I was assaulted but I don’t talk about it often. It was date rape, someone I had been seeing for a couple of months. The violence of the act itself is too graphic to describe. I’ve found that many people just don’t believe me or think there is some kind of “catch” to the story where it was my fault. I also am very sensitive about it and almost any sexual reference is triggering to me. Since that time I’ve started suffering from PTSD symptoms and was finally diagnosed about 6 months ago with complex PTSD.

Also at some point growing up I started experiencing gastrointestinal issues. It’s gotten progressively worse as I’ve gotten older. I’m pretty sure it’s IBS C (irritable bowel syndrome with constipation), but haven’t had a doc diagnose me. Much of the time I’m just that, constipated. Other symptoms are feeling nauseous (not sure if this is more ibs or anxiety?) sometimes I have diarrhea, but mostly just bloated, gasy, or having painful cramps. (Yay so fun!)

Another fun tidbit, I also believe I have undiagnosed adhd and/or may be on the spectrum. These things were never caught by my parents growing up (neglect, self absorption idk) and it’s been extremely isolating trying to fit into society… just never quite have. I’m looking forward to official testing next month to get some answers.

I’m here because I want to tell my story and to understand myself better. For me, I think sleep is a coping mechanism? I’m not sure. There is so much shame associated with it that I haven’t been able to get past that to the true root. Mostly I just always have low energy and/or feel completely overwhelmed. Everyday I struggle with waking up and getting out of bed. It’s been like this for years.., I’d say since high school but it got bad in college. Sometimes I’m productive for a few hours but seem to return to bed in the afternoon and then again at night. Some days I don’t leave my bed at all. I’m not sure if it’s a conscious choice or not. Some days it feels impossible to do anything, others it’s just a dull dread that I can’t seem to shake.

I’m excited to connect with you all and learn about your stories. I’m curious what this group has taught you or helped you through? Can you relate to my story and help me understand what’s going on? Most of all I want community who understands me.

There’s a lot more to my story but for the sake of an introduction I’m trying to keep it shorter. Looking forward to healing, learning and growing with you all.

High five,
Kelsey #CPTSD #daterapesurvivor #ChronicDepression #Anxiety #ADHD #Alwaystired

#iihmemes #IIH #Fatigue #ChronicFatigue #Alwaystired #tired #Medication #meds #Meme