Cantsleep

I'm so anxious about tomorrow's appointments. I mean toxic levels of anxiety. I'm getting physically sick from it. And I can't sleep. Part of me says if I don't sleep I won't sleep thru the alarm and will be awake for my virtual appointment. Now realistically I know thats a bad plan, I need sleep to heal, but arguing with the voices in my head never gets me anywhere productive. Like right now I'm seriously contemplating making tea. No Giddie, its sleep time, not tea time. But tea is one of the few things that calms me down. UGH

I understand! The longer I’m awake, the more awake I become, and the more impossible to sleep it is. I get more and more passionate and productive at night… i love not being tired while
like this, though I guess I’d rather be able to go to sleep normally and wake up still ready to take on the world, with the same passion. But because once my insomnia leads me to something I’m passionate about, I begin to feel like sleep would only kill my productivity anyway … I usually will stay like this maybe napping an hour here or dozing once in awhile for about 3 weeks, when “ lucky” ; then I go to the total opposite end of the spectrum and can’t keep myself awake, if for no other reason, the depression that comes with having to try and find
Productivity again. A week or so I find it again while laying in the dark, eyes wide….and the process repeats.
I know this isn’t healthy but … I guess it kind of has a positive side?… and a down side :/
Is anyone else..
Similar ?😅 #Sleep #Nightowl #Insomnia #MajorDepressiveDisorder #CPTSD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #PTSD #Trauma #Caregiving #Caregivers #Burnout #Cantsleep #Upallnight #Sleep

I would love to read a book that features a fictional character who has fibromyalgia. Please comment if you have read any good fictional books whose characters have fibromyalgia.

I would also love to see a recommendation for a motivational book for people with chronic pain/chronic illnesses. If it's a book specifically about fibromyalgia, please make sure that the author has fibromyalgia themselves before recommending. I know that that sounds nitpicky, but I have heard enough BS for a lifetime 😅

For those of you who don’t know, I have a really hard time sleeping. I don’t know weather to laugh 😂 cry 😭 or both lol

Laying awake for over 7 hours to get some rest. Physical pain (weather changes ) racing thoughts of self-doubt , overthinking and tears. Reading is not helping. Had a great day with friends & family. Old dark thoughts of being a burden or annoying to everyone. Fighting the impulse to not do something I’ll regret later. Feeling like a kid when aniexty caused stomachaches. When it comes to self-image I am disgusted with myself. Overweight and looking rundown doesn’t. On the up side most my face is finally covered by a mask.

Sooo there I was going about life, feeling happy about me. When one conversation with a friend triggered me when she asked what happened to my ex...like why did we breakup. I shared w/ her the story and was fine. Until I got off the phone and started thinking about my ex...and his words..and I looked in the mirror and felt bad about myself because my stomach was no longer flat. So I felt down about myself began feeling like no guy would want me if I am not a flat stomach size small female (which by the way I haven’t been since I had my daughter). And so the next day and the day after that I vigorously started an ab workout...no stretching no warm up nothing...stupid article on get a flatter stomach in 7 days...and now im suffering from a musculoskeletal problem that will take weeks to heal....pulled muscles, pinched nerves, just....yea...all because I allowed that mans comments to stop me from seeing my own beauty. I guess this is just a 5am rant... since I can’t sleep due to muscle discomfort... 😔. #Loveyourselffirst #rant #Cantsleep