AnxietyDisorder

I saw a psychiatrist , the best I’ve ever had in my 30+ years of Major Depression with Anxiety disorder. He retired 1 year ago, it was difficult but I found a pHD nurse practitioner who continued the same medications for 6 months. Suddenly she decided it wasn’t good for me to be on Clonazepam 0,5 mg tid and Ambien 5 mg hs. I was doing well with some antidepressant adjustments over those 18 years.
She has tapered me off Ambien and I still have insomnia. She has tapered me down to Clonazepam twice a day, with resulting increased social anxiety, a terrible habit of picking the skin off my thumb until I have sores. I am fearful and anxious. Decreased appetite.reclusiveness to my apartment, no interterests…..I used to read, do crafts. Now all I am interested in is my 2 cats, and my Chihuahua. I was an advocate for wolves and animals that couldn speak for themselves, used to foster kittens and volunteer at an animal she,yet. I no longer drive because of decreased vision and lack of spatial awareness. I have no family living in Denver. I am at odds with my entire family because of the election. I live with my husband in a senior living retirement. My husband is very supportive but he is gone most of the day because he is very involved in activities here.
I need to find a psychiatrist who will allow me to stay on Clonazepam and Ambien, plus my Paxil and Wellbutrin….therapuetic medications that help me maintain some sort of normalcy in my depressed state.
I desperately need help. Her suggestion was to make friends, get out more…which I have tried. All of my best friends live in the Midwest or Northwest, including my two children an 3 grandchildren. Help me please.
#Depression #MajorDepression , #AnxietyDisorder
, #fearful ,#reclusuve ,

I keep having ruminating thoughts about one of several of the women my husband was talking to and "seeing" last yr....I try to put these things out of my head but they come back some days like the biggest, darkest monster and it takes parts of my soul just a little more.... #PTSD #AnxietyDisorder #Trauma

Why did I wait to give up on relationships?, I should have walked out at the first name, hit, disrespect yet I stayed and it turned me into a monster....time lost, heart broken, part of my soul already to dust... don't think I will ever trust again idk anymore. #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #ADHD #AuditoryProcessingDisorder #PTSD

Today I found out that my friend Naomi lost her job at the (forgive me the name is withheld) company that does upholstry for busses and limos. They're a busy business and she's barely there over a month and already terminated. This is because she made only a few mistakes that were not devastating, but fixable clairical errors. I feel so bad that she had that happen to her. She went through a lot today, as I could hear her crying over the phone. I do not know exactly what time it happened, but it seemed to have occured early in the morning upon her arrival to work. She said it was not the best environment to work within and that there were some things that happened there that were not very good.

One time, she was on the phone with someone who called and was saying he was making a complaint about something (as this is the company's corporate headquarters) and the other lady asked who was on the phone to Naomi. Naomi put the client on hold and said to her who it was and then the lady said to Naomi "HANG UP RIGHT NOW," as it was someone who was trying to sue the company for something that they were dissatisfied with. Ugh. Then there was a time a lady manager got pissed off and slammed her hand down on the desk because she heard Naomi answering a question in spanish that was asked to her by the other girl who spoke spanish about a work related task. She said that they are not allowed to speak spanish, and that they were only allowed to speak english. WOW... That was a huge WTF moment.

Lets just say that things are tough all around for a LOT of people out there. My friend Natalie in NJ has also told me that she was hired for a job, and she bought the clothes required and have all the paperwork signed, but was not given a start date, or a call when she is supposed to start. She contacted them, but management said that they would contact her back. Um.. that's just fucking weird. THIS is what companies are doing to people these days. It's insane. Absoloutely insane.

#WhatIsHappening
#BipolarDisorder
#Depression
#AnxietyDisorder
#Working
#keepgoing
#ineedhelp
#PanicDisorder
#ADHD
Valerie Climenhaga
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android Tablet

It has been a while since I've just been held...and as I lay here tonight and think of the very things I miss the most that would be it... obviously u would have to have some sort of connection with a person and know them for awhile first but the simplicity of being in another's arms or just snuggling together and just a knowing u can trust that person at the end of the day and the intimacy doesn't need to go beyond that is all anyone can ask for ....well atleast in my book.... #ADHD #BipolarDepression #AnxietyDisorder #PTSD #AuditoryProcessingDisorder

See if that works, then if they persist then you can do the necessary to protect yourself, rather its call the authorities etc. Sometimes living with bpd / ptsd can put us a bit over the top or on edge. Meaning we think everyone is out to traumatize us. But that's not always the case we have to sympathize with non mentally ill people as well, and they may just be showing a nice gesture. We've all seen the YouTube videos.. the "Karens" we don't want to have an extra label put on us just because we reacted incorrectly towards another person and we didn't realize they meant no harm to us. So be cautious around strangers but not so cautious that we get ourselves all worked up over nothing. Living with BPD, we lack what you call emotional balance and we fly off the handles very quickly.... So lets practice having a balance.. in our lives as much as possible we no that's almost a no go but practice makes perfect so lets give that a little effort on our part. (The use of the word Karen is just and example not meant for any other purpose)#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #MentalHealth #AnxietyDisorder #Depression #PTSD