Got really scared and cried because I think my current psychiatrist has been lying to me. We have the consultation via video call weekly, and he has been promising me a memo for weeks. I requested the memo as a written explanation of why the hospital banned me from seeing my previous psychiatrist one year ago. He’s aware that I wrote a complaint to the ministry for the ban. I intend to use the memo as supporting document in case the hospital twist their words again. Maybe I sound schizophrenic or delusional because I talk suspiciously about the hospital and doctors, but many of their actions have really made me unable to trust them again. It’s difficult to list out everything they have said and done because the issue has been throughout a whole one year. So two weeks ago, he read the memo to me in the video call, and said he would get his assistant to email me a copy. I broke down and cry because the reasons given are so ridiculous and I felt scared and bullied by them. I told him I would still proceed to pursue the case with the ministry. Last week, I told him I did not receive the email for the memo and he claim that the service quality department have took over the case and mailed out the memo to my address. Nope, I didn’t receive it at all. I have a feeling he’s just trying to delay things. It’s worrying because I read about an online feedback about this particular psychiatrist before, the patient wrote that this psychiatrist kept changing his words about the treatment plan and refuse to admit it. There are many reasons in my head about why he and the hospital would have such behaviours towards me, but at the same time I don’t understand why they would treat me those ways because I’m just a nobody and there’s nothing to gain? And I thought medical staffs are kind people? I’m even more worried because he diagnosed me ASD, after I told him and laughed about another psychiatrist giving me the ASD diagnosis. He immediately stopped all my other medicines and only left me with 25mg quetiapine for sleep, and I have been having break downs a lot. Yes, he did let me fill up the autism related questionnaires and I got 29 out of 50, and he said it meant ‘strong autistic traits’. But I’m not confident in him or the questionnaires, and he mentioned this diagnosis can explain why I was so persistent about going back to the previous psychiatrist. Are they trying to label me with Autism so that they can use it against me, to explain to the ministry that I’m complaining because I’m autistic and unable to adapt to changes? To make my complaint look irrational and ‘just a symptom of ASD’?
#depression #anxiety #SocialAnxiety #AnxietyDisorder #socialanxietydisorder #dependentpersonalitydisorder #paranoidpersonalitydisorder #avoidantpersonalitydisorder #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #delusionaldisorder #autismspectrumdisorder #mentalhealth #selfcare #memes