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I had this dream last night where I'm supposed to be getting married, but in the days leading up to the day, I noticed something was off. On the day, I found out that the guy had bad habits similar to my step-father's and I called off everything on the spot. After making the announcement of the break in the plans, my mom applauds me for my strength to not subject myself to a troubled marriage, but my step-father says nothing. It's strange to me that I was strong enough in a dream to stand up against a narcissist with secrets. #MentalHealth #Depression #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Blacksheep #NarcissisticAbuse

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Feeling like all my family are against me

#BorderlinePersonalityDisorder . Hi please help, I'm really struggling with thinking, I'm sensitive to everything people say and absorbing the mood of everyone else especially at work. I just need some help I'm usually good at sorting myself out. I am not reacting I'm breathing thro it. I feel like black sheep in work and family (not my partner he's good) #BPD #MentalHealth #Blacksheep

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Schizophrenia VS Narcissism

For years I have battled with my Mother who has suffered long term effects trialling medication for bipolar schizophrenia that in large has proven negative effects specifically the incapability of thinking for oneself, incognizance of self, deluded reality, and the causal factors associated with mental illness itself. Here I struggle as an adult in my 30’s slowly concluding my own personal ideas and beliefs of psychological and emotional abuse. What has been tremendous effort trying to maintain some level of understanding and building a relationship with my mother I am yet disappointed by her crusade in creating divide between me and my half siblings, two older brothers and one sister to her first husband. In the past something as simple as a phone call to her, the conversation soon turns into her complaining then directs the focus to me “oh, your brother called me the other day, he was gossiping about you, so I told him to shut up, oh, I hope I did not upset you, did I? I am sorry darling you know you are my favourite; I want you to know that when I die you get everything in my house and assets, ok, the others will get nothing. I’m sorry darling but they don’t like you they told me”. Later when confronted of what she said she denies ever saying any of it. It dawned on me some years ago the persistent cruel intentions were heavy on the agenda, instinctively I have known some of the fact to be true as I am treated differently categorized as the ‘black sheep’ of the family and in this case have now completely rid of any means of contact. This of course results reaction and further manipulation demanding my attention via social media blackmail, emotional blackmail, endless voicemails and the list goes on. I do not particularly voice my thoughts aloud as in the past I have immediately been shut down so i write- a lot. My support system relies solely on therapists and close friends. Moving forward unscathed is utterly impossible.
#narcissism #Blacksheep #scapegoat #Brokenfamily


When your the only progressive in your family

I'm no one special. I have my issues just like everyone else. But I do know that I am a progressive person. I care alot about people and sacrifice much of my time and energy on trying to help others and understand them atleast. I've always been one to speak up about this, about accepting and helping all people no matter their appearnce, ethnic background, money status, family just does not matter to me. But as i've grown older I have realized that even though my family/support system has always said they are not racist and judgemental...Their actions and words prove otherwise. I'm also realizing that much of my anxiety/depression has been a result of them shunning me whenever I would talk progressively about others and and the world. It's a hard thing to process when the one's you love and that you know love you are not able to love the world as much as's sad...and it's tareing us apart. But I will not be like them.

#Blacksheep #Judgement #familysucks


The black sheep in the family

Does anyone else feel like they’re the black sleep in their family? In recent days, I started noticing things about my siblings that I Always tried to ignore. Now I have a brother, a twin sister and a younger sister. The other day I noticed that I wasn’t in any of the picture frames in their rooms. I tried to not let it bother me. But I then started thinking about how close they all are with each other. And how they barely acknowledge my existence. And today, I looked at their instagrams. And not one post was a picture with me and one of them. Not a single photo. I don’t know how I should feel or what I should do. I’m so heart broken. I feel like I can’t even catch my breath. #Family #Blacksheep #insecurities #Depression #Anxiety #Pain #Heartbroken