insecurities

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    Depressed but always well dressed

    I’m Zoe
    I suffer from depression anxiety and ptsd. I guess I’m here because I’m alone on this journey in discovering who iam while I finally own my mental illnesses. I’ve spent over a decade self medicating and pretending that no one ever knew I was suffering. Now I’m in therapy and I’m sober but I don’t know who iam without pretending. I love decorating and fashion that’s my cover up yet deep down I feel so worthless and ashamed of who iam wishing I could be normal. I have a 10Yr old who is closer to his dad and I guess he should be given the fact that I’ve struggled most of his life. Idk I most days wonder if I wasn’t here would it spare him the pain to have to call someone like me his mom. I hate crowds, I hate fun because it’s triggering for me. I only like to hide away! It’s like I’m suffocating and fading away at the same time! I’m that women who looks so well put together but inside she’s in her own hell!!! It’s like I’m waiting for some miraculous change and suddenly I’ll be ok and feel joy again! When I’m in pain I have no one to call I just have to suffer in silence! #Broken #depressed #insecurities #whoami

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    Do you hate yourself?

    Do you ever hate your entire existence? Like you hate yourself for making bad decisions, you hate yourself for being not good enough, you hate yourself for having so much insecurities. I feel that always. Feeling so much insecure and comparing myself to others. I know it's toxic, but I can't help it. #Anxiety #insecurities #MentalHealth

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    Gym Milestone 🏋🏽‍♀️ - #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #BingeEatingDisorder #Depression #Anxiety #insecurities

    ***Eating Disorder Triggers***

    I’ve always had an issue with my body. Either I was too fat and needed surgery and lost 103 pounds- or I was with severe anemia with 7.7 hemoglobin. I ended up in a rehab clinic last year.

    So this time, I decided to face one of my lifetime fears- going to a mixed gym. My biggest fear. Being in a place where people were fit and I felt fat. With both girls I could compare myself to and guys to feel judged. I forced myself to attend otherwise, and it’s now been one whole week that I’ve gone there. I’m still nowhere near fit compared to the people there but at least I’m trying. I decided to document it and take a picture of myself to show myself some love, with my tummy and all. And this is thanks to years and years of therapy and trying my best to get by.

    Also, it’s the first time since years that I’ve worn shorts to the gym, always feeling so insecure and fat.

    Anyways, here’s to more accomplishments!

    Thanks to all my Mighty Fam for providing support when needed 🙏🏼.

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    #Anxiety #insecurities #ChronicIllness Has anyone else gotten really insecure since being diagnosed?

    I have a lot of insecurities, and they have only gotten worse after I was diagnosed with lupus, rheumatoid arthritis and other chronic illnesses. I always feel my husband is gonna end up getting tired of me and leaving me for someone, younger, healthier and full of life 😔 Since he started a new job its all I think about, he is gonna leave me, he works 10 to 11 hours a day and I never hear from him until he is on his way home. I have really bad anxiety, so he has several texts from me throughout the day that go unanswered ☹ any suggestions on how to deal with the anxiety or the insecurities?

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    Heading downhill from #triggers

    New meds make me nauseous but I have to adjust and adapt as we decrease the old and increase the new every 14 days for 8 weeks minimum.

    Lack of support from those who I need it most from has me reeling and spiraling downward. Teenagers are either responding to my #MDD and #Anxiety or their own or being just that, #teenagers .

    My own #insecurities about #Love , #Marriage , and #Relationships just keep #resurfacing . #Divorce seems like my best solution but do I follow my #yellowbrickroad and ignore the #talkofthetown (my mom-my biggest critic, my in-laws, etc)?

    Why does having #malefriends make it so much more difficult? Everyone expects relationships that may or may not develop, can't I just get through this 1st? #expectations suck!

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    Building #Selfesteem , ending insecurities, and taking control of #Anxiety that’s ruining my relationships

    I posted about finding myself. I’ve done a little research. Evidently to find yourself you must commit to #Lovingyourself by building your #Selfesteem and stopping #insecurities . #Affirm yourself by acknowledging what you do right. Find what makes you happy like truly happy, that doesn’t involve another person. #Selfcare , have personal or “me time”, learn a new skill or hobby. Challenge negative thoughts, forgiving yourself, writing down negative thoughts then challenge them with positive thoughts. Spend time with people that love you seeing yourself through the eyes of those who care about you because that will help you appreciate your own unique qualities. Stay away from negative people and bad situations, surround yourself with positive people and healthy situations. Reflect on the good by celebrating ALL successes, no matter how small. Start an appreciation list, every day write three things you #appreciate about yourself (like a gratitude journal, but for appreciating yourself). Find things that bring you and only you #Joy . Prioritize alone free time. Do what makes you happy, in all aspects of life. Learn a new skill or hobby you are passionate about. Talk with a therapist. And lastly, focus on baby steps! Finding yourself will not happen overnight! Baby steps grow into bigger steps and keep you moving forward! #loveyourself #findyourself

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    Learning to Cope ✨

    This morning thought goes out to all of those questioning themselves and their self worth just as I do. As I'm growing on my journey I am learning that no matter what we may be experiencing we should always try to find the humor in things. It helps keep the mood light, kills more calories, and does way more for the soul. I hope you all have blessed weekend and remember if you need a friend, you have many here. Please reach out. #Humor #Humorheals #SelfDoubt #insecurities #lost #findingmyway #Healing #learningtocope #Anxiety #SelfDoubt #SuicidePrevention

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    #FearOfAbandonment #insecurities

    yeah...

    i feel guilty having this fear when my friends have bigger issues than i do

    idk

    i just feel really insecure about my place in my friend group

    wonder if they really do want me around or are just faking it

    ive been there

    i dont want to go through that again

    ive been trying my best to be the best friend

    but it seems im failing

    i feel like they dont want me outside our group chats and shared interest

    i feel like they dont like the innermost me

    idk

    maybe i just crave too much validation

    sigh

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    How should I start working on my confidence? Help me w a roadmap, maybe?

    I have been having issues w social anxiety-conversations.. eye-contact.. walking in public. Body insecurities. Discipline issues. Loneliness. Self-esteem issues. Confidence issues. Inferiority complex. n a lot more. What should I do to fix things. How do I go about w it? Is there an n-step plan for dealing w insecurities n overcoming em? I tried therapy... Just wasted money. Don't have more of it now.
    Thanks for trying to help. It means a LOT.
    #MentalHealth #Confidence #Insecure #insecurities

    10 comments
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    My friend hate me and I don’t want to exist anymore #alone

    So today is the birthday of one of my friends and since I’m really bad remembering birthdays I forgot, like seriously I’m so bad I don’t even remember my mom’s, anyway another friend reminded me of that and invited me to Skype to celebrate her birthday online, the problem is I really REALLY cannot stand seeing my face on a screen or knowing how my voice sounds through the phone, it’s something I’ve always hated to the point of crying when I see a picture of me because I end up feeling bad for how ugly I am. Anyway I told him I would join the call but I wrote my birthday friend a message telling her how much I loved her but she blocked me, and now I feel like the worst person ever and I don’t think she’ll ever forgive me, and I don’t want to exist anymore because I know I’ll always end up alone because I’m incredibly insecure and I hate myself so much #Friends #Depression #Anxiety #insecurities #alone

    7 comments