bp2

I’m doing pretty good
I’ve been treated for depression for about twenty years but recently was diagnosed with bp2
I’ve taken mood and depression meds for a couple of years now and am feeling better #bp2 #BipolarDisorder #Depression #vrylar #prozac

Have you ever been in a place?... a dark and scary place? One where you feel trapped and maybe the walls are closing in on you; or the air just keeps getting thinner? A place that however much you scream for help; no one ever hears you? A place that no matter how far you run; you can never fully get out of?
Imagine that this place is your own mind.

How often do you find yourself doubting that those around you really want to be there? That no matter how hard you try, you will never be able to create a stable life for yourself? Do you fear the constant dread of knowing that you could go off the deep end or crumble into dust at any moment? And for no reason other than you are sick?

Do you always approach opportunity with caution because last time you screwed it up really bad? That all your graces are taken with a pinch of salt because you are just waiting to see how you are going to f**k it all up? Imagine you felt like you couldn't control it but always feel like you should have tried harder?

Imagine the fear that you must feel; always wondering if you'll break down again. That you'll spend months going through new cocktails of medication to find what helps; even though many of them can make it all worse. Having to go to therapy and possibly being admitted... Again!

Imagine that every time you swallow each one of your various tablets; that you are terrified. That any one of them could be the reason for you to develop liver disease, an under or overactive thyroid or maybe cause your kidneys to fail. Imagine feeling that fear every day; every tablet for the rest of your life.

This is the big one..
Imagine choosing to live with that fear because you know what you would have to live with if not for the medication and terrifies you even more...
Because you've already been there!

This is a glimpse of what living with Bipolar is like for me.
I am medicated
I go to therapy
And I am what is considered 'stable'.

Mental illness is real, it is serious and it can be debilitating.

We always preach about breaking the stigma.
If you really care about someone who suffers because of mental illness and are trying to support them.
Then please do your research... Understanding is difficult without knowledge.

I used to struggle a lot with self-harm in my early teen years but after several years of not doing it, the urges are coming back. They’re different, though. Now it’s a severe urge to hit myself in the head as hard as I can over and over, and it leaves bruises. I know it’s not healthy. I think part of me thinks it’s ok because it’s not cutting so it’s not really self-harm, but I know it is and it’s not good. If y’all have advice for releasing tension and getting the relief without doing this, I would love to hear it. #Selfharm #triggerwarning #TW #Bipolar #BipolarDisorder #bp2 #bpii #Anxiety #Advice

I am going to my psychiatric nurse practitioner this afternoon. For the first time ever. I’ve been with him I’ve been on the depressed side. on the depressed side , It’s been over 10 years I’ve been hypomanic + Never with him. in fact,the only diagnosis discussed was PTSD, the whole reason i chose him. He had working in a VA PTSD unit.
How do I explain to him the symptoms, especially the hypersexual behavior? How do I look him in the eye, this young thing. Wh’ve never talked anything about sec, I assume he thought (correctly) that this was handled by my therapist. He is the meds guy.
I am really uncomfortable with this. I’m afraid my behavior at his office out of shame will be misinterpreted as a symptom, therefore must be treated by messing with the meds. We did that. Didn’t work. In fact,
my hypomania started right after I had a severe allergic reaction to Abilify, and had to stop taking it after 3 days. I don’t want to change meds, I’m very sensitive to them.
I’m sorry I even called now.

#BipolarDepression

The Mighty walk with
their head held high
their head held low
Their heart is breaking
and you will never know
Their brain is storming
and they don’t know why
It just won’t stop
But all you see
Is their sweet smile

#mentalhealthawarnessmonth
#TheMighty #NAMI
#MightyPoets #EDS #ChronicPain #bp2 #aprilsucks

I have bipolar 2 and my depressions tend to be bad. This is the one time I could describe it.

Darkness closes over me in waves, like a drowning man I fight against it.
But it entangles me with its tentacles, I struggle to move and it tightens even more, soon I can't feel any air getting into my lungs.
I open my mouth to try and breathe or scream and the darkness rushes in and my mouth clamps shut. I feel it running down my throat and filling up every space inside. It begins to suck the life out of me, there is no more light only darkness.
I give in and give up no one can help me now and it suffocates the remainder of life out of me.

#Depression , #bp2 , #keepenitreal #trigger