This is the 3rd night on Cymbalta. Last night wasn't quite as twitchy or shaky as the first night, but still there. Same as right now. Crazy hot flashes. I was having them occasionally before, but they have been constant these last three nights within 30 min of taking it.
Slept fine. Waking up wasn't as horrifying as normal. Normally I wake up and 30 seconds later reality hits and then automatic anxiety, depression, and pain (mostly emotional, but I am having some physical pain, also). So that is better.
I'm not feeling any other positive changes yet, but it could be weeks before it is my system enough to make a difference.
#patience #Medication #cymbalta #Hope #effort
Is it a beautiful thing? Yes, for sure it is. Does it feel comfortable? Yes. Does it feel like finally someone is understanding you and willing to listen to you? Yes. Does it feel like you’re safe and secure? Yes. Does it feel like you wish if this moment could stay forever? Yes, yes, and yes.
Until you get hurt. Then all of a sudden they stop putting effort as much as they did the first time which made you that comfortable to jump into the next level. They stop appreciating all of what you’ve told them. Instead, they start avoiding you, and if you really want to call it the real name it’s “ignoring you”. Why? Because you opened up, you showed them the true colors, you showed them your real self and life.
Is it your fault? No, 100% no. Because you were taught and grown into loving and putting 100% into something that would give you a comfortable feeling. Because for the time you lived, you didn’t find anyone who is willing to listen to all of the things that you were afraid to say out loud.
#comfortzone #comfortable #Openingup #deepemotions #Emotion #yourself #effort #caring #hurt
I literally couldn’t have said it any better. I feel sad the minute I text someone and doesn’t get the same effort in the text as much as I put. I feel sad when I make effort to fix things between my friend and I, and all what I get is being ignored. I feel sad when I communicate my emotions and all what I get is “ok”. If I start loving someone, I will love them with all what I have. I don’t care how much effort they’re putting in, I will always give excuses, always. Because my love and attachment for someone won’t stop even when I don’t have high expectations and even when I expect the less and worst from. I just can’t handle my caring self anymore. I can’t. I’m tired. I seriously can’t. #attachment #effort #MentalHealth #Anxiety #anxious #overthinking
Why do I try
When you say I'll fail?
Why do I lie
When I can't prevail?
Why do you hit
Only when I'm frail?
Stealing each bit
Of air I inhale?
Why do I try
When effort feels hopeless?
Why do I cry
When my pain is noticed?
Why do our lives
Seem filled with purpose
When in our minds
We feel so useless?
Why do I try?
Because I cannot fail
Why do I cry?
I expect to prevail
Why do I lie?
You hit when I'm frail
Why do I try?
My effort is hopeful
Why do you try?
Your effort is noticed
#Depression #Anxiety #Emotions #BipolarDisorder #Trying #effort #Motivation