patience

#traumasurvivor

In a land where all things look good and kept is a reality that something’s not quite right.

Enter the villain 🦹‍♀️ the Narcissist who married an Exho. Yet while the Echo was unaware the echo tried so many different things to make IT all work for the children and the spouse. Over the top adventures were agreed to reckless spending and debt was agreed to and in fact co signed the spouse’s University Student Debt.

All was good as long as the spouse was pleased and entertained. However the spouse would become board. Would even start to exhibit out of character behaviour and would go out with their so called friends staying out endlessly while the echo looked after the children.

Then the affairs and the echo would call out the Narcissist. The Narcissist would be confronted by family and would recline into a relationship with the echo again. The cycle continues yet the echo becomes more and more aware more and more watching absent and picks qualities from the narcissist to emulate.

Now there are two in the same house who’s placing their needs of self love over each other’s needs for one and other.

The bed grows cobwebs and there is no passionate connection only passive aggressive behaviour and malicious behaviour with manipulation. Everything is a game a dance of sorrows.

The children watch on as their parents transform from loving caring parents into separate souls who reject each other’s desires or needs.

This sounds horrible yet remember the echo has leaned. Agile and smart in order to survive. Abused neglected and abandoned by their spouse on a numerous occasions for affairs of fancy and inappropriate behaviour.

The echo unaware that the abuse was directed at them and the children becomes even more self aware. Therapy and counselling bring into the light the true situation. The echo sets limit’s expectations the narcissist plows over them the echo sets standards the narcissist prefers to do what they what when they want with who they want.

The echo mimics this behaviour the narcissist becomes unstable and physically aggressive with covert manipulation.

Long story short the echo becomes the villain based on the narcissist’s manipulation.

Now the victim becomes the villain and the divorce starts.

The victim and villain is treated well like the villain reinforcing the trauma and relationships traumas events CPTSD and other mental health related issues like suicidal ideation and dissociation.

The victim or villain becomes incarcerated only to find their true selves in the institution while recovering ❤️‍🩹 from the narcissist being separated from the narcissist and developing a sense of self reliance with spiritual growth.

The victim and villain returns to become the hero 🦸‍♀️

Not the hero to themselves no the echo is still growing underneath and realizing what has truly happened and why IT happened yet this person is not the same person that entry the institution. No this person is completely different. The hero is hero to observers and othe survivors. Becoming an inspiration and testimony to the people who come in contact with the survivor.

The survivor begins helping random strangers empowering their beliefs and self narratives to be self loving with compassion while healing ❤️‍🩹 in peer social and yes groups with others dealing with loved experiences.

The hero is no long an echo no the echo is now an emotionally awakened spiritual healer. Yet growing learning supporting and yes very much still recovering ❤️‍🩹.

This healer this shaman this foraged soul built in the depths of the despair is beyond comprehension to most and yet this story has a happy ending.

The hero continues their journey and helps others along the way while also developing healthy boundaries and relationships because they are now healthy and they now have self compassion for their own needs and the needs of thier children.

The book comes out and there are so many people that are touched by the story and illuminates other’s suffering that they begin to believe and become stronger than ever able to brake their own chains and set themselves free.

The story of one can effect others and empower others.

This is a true story name’s removed for protection.

If this story is happening or has happened to you or someone you are not alone.

You matter

You are important

You belong

You are valued

You are worthy

Please remember to be safe be well be loved 🥰 your worthy.

Don’t forget IT.

We hope this helps someone out there even just one. Don’t give up don’t give in don’t stop fighting. There are so many people depending on you.

You just haven’t met them yet or they haven’t read your store.

#LivedExperiance #Support #MentalHealth #Grief #PTSD #Depression #Anxiety #SuicidalIdeation #Survivor #DissociationDisorders #Healing #Recovery #restoration #Newlife #Empowerment #Hope #Joy #Love #peace #patience lots of patience.

Be well we hope this finds you well if you know someone struggling or suffering and situation, please help them. They don’t even know they need help.

I woke early this morning with typical questioning thoughts. I then thought of listening to a sermon on a Podcast, but changed my mind because those words typically lead me to more questioning thoughts filled with self reflection, self awareness, and sadly self-lead conviction. But today I want to hear and join in with speaking good words said about our Heavenly Father. So, I turned to #TheMighty to share words of kindness with my Heavenly family to our Loving Lord and Savior!

Loving Father, thank you for sharing your Son with us. Your Trinity is so loving and giving. Thank you for being faithful. Thank you for bending and extending yourself to reach us on our level. As my tears drip because of some challenge I face on this broken realm, Father, your Great Comforter seems to caress my wet face as a gentle wind cools the feverish emotional energy my anxiety sweats.

You are love. You are NOT the voice I often hear in the racing thoughts in my mind, for they are fueled by fear or panic. No. Lord, you are the voice that tells me “peace,” as you add, “Be still.” There is no panic in you. There is no rushed decision expected of us, those who trust in you. Your timing is perfect. I can wait in you.

And in our times of uncertainty, we run to you as our fear mounts. But you allow us to almost disturb you as you reach out to another in their distress. You take the time to whisper to us, “Your faith has made you well.”

I drop before you sharing my accusations of yet ANOTHER time I caught my self cheating, an betraying act unlike you. But you simply push the dirty soil of such internal anguish away. My words begin to fade, for no one is without sin. You stand by me. I hear your whispered words, “Where are your accusers?” All thoughts disappear. With confidence, I know I can “go” and “sin no more.” My actions are exposed. I then drink in Your Living Water. And I go out and I declare to all I encounter in my world, “Jesus speaks! And he knows EVERYTHING ABOUT ME!” Your Truth has set me free!

May we all gather together to boast and proclaim each of our encounters we have experienced with our Heavenly Father, his Son, and the acts and guidance of his Great Comforter. As the song Agnus Dei plays in my ears, “You are Holy…Lord God Almighty…Worthy is the Lamb…Are You Lord God Almighty.”

#Anxiety #Fear #PTSD #CPTSD meet #peace #patience and #Love !

❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️❄️ #Kindness #patience #Quotes #willbeokay #doingyourbest #quote #wisdom #SelfKindness

An Evening Reflection:

My anxiety is reducing as I learn new tools. My guilt has subsided as I embrace compassionate care from deep within myself. Yet the ringing in my ears is ever so near. I thus cannot forget that there is a disruption deep inside my head.

I have an injury that is taken more time to completely heal. I am now therefore learning, I can conquer my mindset. With acceptance and truth. I accept the fact, I have a traumatic brain injury, and that’s worth resting so it will reduce.

#patience + #time =
#Acceptance & #peace

:) I am at a new job and usually struggle to find or keep employment, so far everyone is nice and the training is better than at other places, but guess don’t want to feel alone in my struggles hiding my mental health at the workplace, maybe eventually I can reach out for help if they are accommodating, they offer some mental health supports partnerships so I’m incredibly lucky. Thanks for any tips and sharing your own story or struggles with work anxiety.

😊🙂🙂💕🙏 💼
🌻🌷❤️🌸☺️🙂

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#Newjob #Anxiety #coping #Trying #Hardwork #DoingMyBest #Hope #New #Life #struggles #Selflove #patience #growing #selfImprovement #resillience #Work #WorkAnxiety #Job #Brave #fears #Journaling #tryingtoovercomefears #SocialAnxiety #Coworkers #Nice #positive #positiveexperience

This new nurses aide at my pain doctor's office was really intrusive. And not very friendly. She was barely talkative or making eye contact. She seemed like she *really* didn't want to be there AT ALL.

I asked to go to the bathroom, she said to wait, because the doctor might want a urine sample. Ok. No problem.

Then we get in the room. I say if we're going to need a urine sample, can a get a glass of water?

Here's where she gets weird.

"Why do you need water if you just said you need to go to the bathroom?"

"I just want a glass of water."

"Didn't you just say you needed to go to the bathroom? Why do you need a glad of water?"

I was pretty taken aback.

"Never mind why I want one, will you just get me one?"

After a few rounds more of this she agrees to have the other aide get me one. The other aide. Yeesh.

She takes my vitals, some history questions, etc., then she finished. I'd been irritated the whole time about the bathroom/water incident, so as she finished, I felt like I had to say something ...

"You know, you might want to not ask people questions about their bathroom habits, I have to say, I really didn't appreciate that."

Anyway then she tried to explain-argue, repeating the BS about "you just wanted to go to the bathroom then you asked for water"... and finally I just told her, "Look, the issue isn't any of that -- it's that it's none of your business what I do in the bathroom or why, so please just stop!"

Finally she left the room with an attitude of "okay I'm stopping this conversation now, crazy person," even though, well, you know.

So on my way home I started thinking about how you truly never really know what someone is dealing with what they've been through or how much they're struggling to interact with you at the moment.

Remembering that years ago I used to be so incredibly anxious, insanely and brutally self-conscious, profoundly insecure, and often just a few steps away from a full-blown, crawling on the floor panic attack. To the point that a lot of the time I could barely finish a sentence talking to a person, especially if I didn't know them well, without being obsessed about what they were thinking about me, and how I was coming across.

Talking to people constantly put me on the edge of a panic attack, and often over that edge. And often that made me come across as being very awkward, very weird, "off" in some odd way, or even a little bit "creepy" because of it. Which of course sucked for me. I felt like people constantly misjudged me. I felt horrible about myself.

Ok, sure, I'm still weird and awkward, but at a WAY lower volume. And my anxiety, insecurity, self-consciousness, and panic is a tiny fraction of what it used to be.

So when I interact with someone who really rubs me the wrong way, I try really hard to remember how I felt, and keep in mind that I have no idea whatsoever how much they're struggling to interact with me in that moment and what sort of pain, anxiety, compulsive or horrible thoughts they're struggling with right then.

Who knows what was going on in that woman's life in her head in her heart. I certainly don't. And she definitely didn't seem happy from the first moment I saw her.

Of course I fail at this small kindness all the time, but I do try...

All that said, I still told the doctor about it though, lol. Not to be petty, but because this woman needs to know that that's not how you treat patients and that's not how you act professional in a doctor's office, regardless of your issues.

And that's some of what I learned for myself too. Is that it didn't really matter how I felt in a lot of situations, What mattered was how I was perceived, or what got done or what didn't get done, or how I made people feel.

And I learned that it wasn't fair but that's how life is. We may be damaged and hurting but the world doesn't resolve around us.

But also whenever possible, be as kind as possible. Because the world is chaotic and often cruel -- and our kindness can make a difference. Both to others, and to ourselves.

#MentalHealth #Kindness #social #jerks #patience #difficultpeople