Fourth of July

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July 6, 2022

Really struggling with the fact it's truly over with my ex

I've come back to this site from a very long hiatus because the people around me in real life don't really care about mental health and know her well, I can't talk to my online friends about it because I'll be ridiculed and told to go to someplace like this instead.

I was really happy and content with my life until about an hour ago now. My ex of sorts broke everything off for good. A good few years relationship and a couple months of leading me on, me thinking she wanted to get back together but was just a little scared, and it's finally over. She told me she led me on like that because she's a people pleaser and "saw how in love I still was with her". I just wanna know, why would she do this? I asked and she won't tell me. I could have moved on completely by now if she just didn't do that. She wasted hours of my time doing this. I'm just so angry and disappointed I hardly know the words to say. I don't think she knows just how negatively she's affected me with all of this. To think you're loved but in reality it's all a sham. I just wanna block her. I wanna tell her I never wanna see her again but I don't have the guts and I promised her I wouldn't. Just why me man? I've already gone through enough breakups. I really thought she loved me and cared for me. I feel a bit used. I feel like I can't be loved and all of this happening is my fault, and all of this happened because of the incident that broke us up. #breakup #FourthOfJuly #Depression

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Super Contributor

Conor Bezane

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@conorbezane

July 5, 2022

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My City is Beyond Unsettled by the Fourth of July Shooting

I’m angered by the 4th of July parade shooting near Chicago yesterday. I live in Chicago, about a 40 minute drive from there. I go to Highland Park in the summer sometimes.

There’s this great music festival there called Ravinia that hosts concerts all season. Last year I saw Willie Nelson there. Previously I've seen Blondie with Garbage and X. When I was a kid, my family used to go see Peter Paul & Mary there. Beautiful setting for a picnic and music. Highland Park is a very affluent suburb of Chicago. Goes to show you no one is safe from gun violence and mass shootings that are continuing to happen every other day. #Dosomething They did something but it was not enough.

The photo is Blondie on stage at Ravinia.

#HighlandPark #Chicagoland #FourthOfJuly #BanAssaultWeapons #BanHighCapacityMagazines #UniversalBackgroundChecks #commonsensegunlaws

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Mel

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@melohm417

July 4, 2021

#fireworks #FourthOfJuly #Anxiety

No I do not have PTSD, no do I not have past trauma but yes fireworks give me so much anxiety. The loud noise. The unexpectancy of when they are going to go off. The Fourth of July isn’t fun for me. Do I like seeing them yes, but I tend to hide. Not sure why. So here I am laying in my bed with black out shades on having a racing heart from the constant booms happening outside. Thankful for my cat who can sense the anxiety and is laying with me. Anyone else?

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Group Leader

Mely G99

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@melyg99

Living with RA July 3, 2021

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Fourth of July Weekend

Hi everyone! I hope you all get to do something fun for the Forth of July! My fiance and I are visiting his parents for a grill out and a few friends will be joining us. I'm not excited to work on Monday but I'm the only other employee who was willing so hopefully I can fall asleep during the fireworks. Anyways, here's a picture of my fiance's cat Binx. I may post additional 4th of July photos later. Have a great weekend everyone! #FourthOfJuly #FamilyAndFriends #Celebration

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July 4, 2020

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#Weekend #FourthOfJuly #celebrate (@ home) #AloneTogether

Happy 4th of July to everyone. Today is "Independence Day" & I know I, for one, feel(am) dependant concerning a lot in my life. I think I realize I always kinda feel bad about that. Well, 🎊🎉🎈Celebrate🎈🎉🎊 whatever degree of "Independence" you have achieved. Give yourself credit.

( that's what I'm gonna try to do. I want to feel good today, & I'm trying my hardest to relax & enjoy it. )

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July 4, 2019

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Rough night last night.

Sometimes going to bed is hard for me especially when I’m feeling really down and anxious. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep until about 4:30 this morning and then I was wide awake at 10 am. My mind was racing. I’ve been having to take Ativan here and there to help me sleep but I’m trying to stop doing that because I don’t want to be dependent on it and sometimes it puts me too far down and makes my depression worse. Usually I can pray while I’m falling asleep and it helps me feel better but even prayer has been hard to do lately because I feel so anxious about everything and guilty at the same time. Since I’ve been really depressed lately, it’s also been hard for me to be around anybody including family. I’ve pretty much kept myself isolated in my comfort zone (which I know doesn’t help anything but it’s hard to face people right now) and today is the 4th of July and we’re having friends and family over. I’m nervous, I don’t want anyone to see me this way and I’m super tired so I know my anxiety and depression is going to be very heightened today. I’m not a faker and usually when something is wrong, my face says it all. I’m just not sure if I can put on a front long enough. Nobody really knows how bad my depression is besides my boyfriend because we live together and he sees my mood swings and my meltdowns. I feel bad that he has to see me this way. Normally I would clean my house and gets things ready for company but instead I’m watching my boyfriend clean.. I just keep thinking “I should be doing this”. But I’m so tired mentally, even simple household tasks have become overbearing for me. I want so badly to be around everyone today but I’m in such a dark place mentally and just starting on meds, I’m afraid I’ll make a fool of myself or that everyone will know something is wrong or I’ll have to fake it for too long and have a massive break down later because I feel guilty for having to pretend like I’m having a good time around friends and family whenever they should bring me happiness but right now nothing seems to bring me happiness or comfort. Depression is so ugly. And anxiety fuels it. It sucks. But the verse I posted is one that I firmly believe in, there may be pain in night but joy comes in the morning. I know this is only a season, a really hard, tough, soul draining season, but it’s only a season and I know God in combination with meds and baby steps in my recovery process will get me there. Happy 4th everyone, I hope you guys have a great day. ❤️🇺🇸💙 #Depression #Insomnia #Anxiety #UnquietMind #FourthOfJuly

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July 1, 2019

Fireworks and Anxiety / Sensory Overload #Autism #ASD

With the 4th of July coming up, I am interested in knowing if there are others here, particularly others on the spectrum who do NOT get excited by this “holiday” (I am Native American & do not see this as a holiday to celebrate anyways for obvious reasons) due to being scared of/ made anxious by fireworks. My autism diagnosis is fairly new, but obviously I’ve been autistic my whole life, but I also have many other diagnoses, so I’m always curious as to how such things like being terrified & overwhelmed by fireworks play into my autism. Every since I was a child I loved how beautiful fireworks looked in the sky, but to hear the loud bang when I am close, along wt the fear of fire just sets me off! I completely freak out! As a child it was screaming, crying, begging to go indoors; as an adult it’s fidgeting, pacing, instructing everybody where they need to stand, how they need to safely use fireworks, screaming every time a little POP goes off, covering my ears, etc. It’s so stressful. This year my 2 sons are going to be In Oklahoma wt their grandparents for the 4th & I’m miserable wt anxiety about their safety, but also glad I don’t “have” to be around fireworks myself this year, although I may drive to a parking lot where I can view some from afar.

So, sensory overload/ anxiety caused by fireworks for anyone else out there?
#FourthOfJuly #fireworks #Autism #Anxiety