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Hi everyone,

This is my first time posting. I'm having a really hard time with the holidays and notice my symptoms with bipolar depression are getting worse. I've tried medications but the side effects were worse. I'm still open to medication, called a new Dr but haven't seen him yet. I'm ruminating big time. I had two situations at work that I ruminated about for weeks and got myself sick over when in reality it turned out I was completely wrong about both situations. Today I opened a gift from someone that was rude and insensitive and I'm ruminating again. I feel all over the place and even though I'm aware of my feelings and trying to deal with them, I was hoping maybe someone who understands could give me some helpful advice. I've pretty much cut off all my friends for various reasons, but mainly because they didn't understand or support my bipolar diagnosis. My family is no longer living and I'm feeling super alone. Thank you for any advice you could give. #Bipolar #Depression #ineedhelp #HolidaysAreHard

75 reactions 24 comments

It's a madhouse!

Today I found out that my friend Naomi lost her job at the (forgive me the name is withheld) company that does upholstry for busses and limos. They're a busy business and she's barely there over a month and already terminated. This is because she made only a few mistakes that were not devastating, but fixable clairical errors. I feel so bad that she had that happen to her. She went through a lot today, as I could hear her crying over the phone. I do not know exactly what time it happened, but it seemed to have occured early in the morning upon her arrival to work. She said it was not the best environment to work within and that there were some things that happened there that were not very good.

One time, she was on the phone with someone who called and was saying he was making a complaint about something (as this is the company's corporate headquarters) and the other lady asked who was on the phone to Naomi. Naomi put the client on hold and said to her who it was and then the lady said to Naomi "HANG UP RIGHT NOW," as it was someone who was trying to sue the company for something that they were dissatisfied with. Ugh. Then there was a time a lady manager got pissed off and slammed her hand down on the desk because she heard Naomi answering a question in spanish that was asked to her by the other girl who spoke spanish about a work related task. She said that they are not allowed to speak spanish, and that they were only allowed to speak english. WOW... That was a huge WTF moment.

Lets just say that things are tough all around for a LOT of people out there. My friend Natalie in NJ has also told me that she was hired for a job, and she bought the clothes required and have all the paperwork signed, but was not given a start date, or a call when she is supposed to start. She contacted them, but management said that they would contact her back. Um.. that's just fucking weird. THIS is what companies are doing to people these days. It's insane. Absoloutely insane.

Valerie Climenhaga
Sent from Yahoo Mail on Android Tablet

1 reaction

Somebody please read this. Please be there for me.

Wow, it's been awhile Mighty, three years. I'm not even going to bother talking about all that has happened in the last 3 years because I need help right now. Please comment something to breathe hope, clarity, anything into my evening other than what I'm feeling as I type this.

It's been almost a year since I lost the love of my life in a nightmare breakup that left me hospitalized over #Suicide attempts. My #MentalHealth dipped so badly that I lost ALL of my friends, including my best friend since childhood who turned his back on me after deeming me as an #Anxiety -source he no longer needed to entertain.

I tried to pick myself back up. I walked away from my career despite loving it due to mistreatment. I took a few months to try to right my medications that might help bring my confidence and purpose back. I went to therapy weekly. I accepted the loss of everything, got a new job and blocked all the people in my life that had made a hard time in my life so much harder.

But the new job was even worse.. the new guy I started dating turned out to be abusive. For the last month I have found myself experiencing a deep sorrow, longing for something that's long gone, aching on a level that I can't rightfully put into words. I stopped going to therapy, the meds don't seem to be helping and I feel that the universe is repeatedly trying to tell me to stop pushing for happiness because it is just not in the cards for me in my life.

But as it's either die or keep clawing away at it, I've just given my two weeks notice to the toxic new job and officially ended the abusive relationship after multiple failed attempts. I'm starting a new job soon, have sworn to stay away from dating for awhile and tried to pick up my old hobbies to keep me distracted.

You can see I'm trying SO HARD not to give up. But it's not working you guys... I'm constantly sad. I feel like I'm in permanent #greif and #PTSD mode. I keep trying to fool my brain into thinking this is ok but any and all happiness has been sucked from my soul.

I want to text the abusive ex just for someone to talk to or share the night with. I recently unblocked my old best friend as well as the love of my life to feel some kind of release of anger, a step forward in maturity. I noticed that the ex watched my story yesterday, then blocked me immediately after.

I seem to be wildly unlovable and destined to keep coming back to this defeated place. I'm not sure what the point is to continue trying. I have no friends. No family. No one to talk to so please talk to me tonight.. #ineedhelp

100 reactions 21 comments

How do you know when to get help #MentalHealth #Anxiety #Depression

Apologies if I ramble. How do you know when to get help or what help to get?or How? I've had anxiety all my life and was getting better being in groups of people still rather observe and be invisible, but still better. Since I started this journey of #EhlersDanlosSyndrome my anxiety has gotten worse and depression has joined the fun. Last year I was given an as needed anxiety med after breaking down in a drs office. That hasn't really helped anything. Later I was given a depression med that I thought may be helping but I've also gain 20 plus pounds and don't really care to do anything but still depressed. Leading up to having surgey and after my anxiety is running wild pain is making me have anxiety attacks and regretting surgery and ever finding out I have EDS. I've only seen mental health when I was little and I hated them. I'm terrified that they will want to dig up thing, I have current thing I don't have energy for past things. I'm afraid I will just shut down or make everything worse .I don't know how to do this. What happens I if you and the person dont click am I stuck with them #MentalHealth #MentalHealthAwareness #ineedhelp

5 reactions 5 comments

Completely heartbroken #bpdis me #ineedhelp #feelabandoned

Hello, I’ve been contemplating writing my thoughts down. I am going through a terrible, heart breaking, depressed event. My therapist of 8+ years died. I had been trying to get in touch with her for several days because she never misses and appointment without reaching out to me. I spoke to her via text the night before our appointment. I was stalking her BFF’s peg on FB and she posted about her dying. We were so close, she was a great, fantastic therapist. She promised she would never abandon me. I also am having issues with wanting to know what happened? When did she die? I feel that her clients have been left in the dark. I’m so hurt and heartbroken. I promised her that I would never attempt suicide again unless I talked to her. I promised her and I keep my promises even though she is no longer with me. I need to find a new therapist. Oh, I now have Covid!

1 comment

Advice needed

My #Depression is severe, has been impacting my life for nearly a decade
I'm treatment resistant, probably because I've only just been diagnosed with #AutismDiagnosis so nothing was ever changed to help me understand it and of course meds don't work
I cannot take this anymore
Every single time I ring to speak to a doctor they say there's nothing else they can for me
They won't try anything


#Autistic help me get people to honour my boundaries

I've been diagnosed with #ChronicDepression and #Anxiety for so long, I've tried to put boundaries in place, tried to honour my needs like alone time and rest days and not doing things that makes me uncomfortable
But it's really hard because my family refuse to respect what I say, or even my diagnosis or just me
Recently I've been diagnosed with #Autism
And I know it's more important than ever to reflect and focus on my boundaries and needs
I cannot do what I used to do hears ago
I need a lot more rest
And I've realised, I will no longer do what causes me harm
#AutisticBurnout is no joke
And if I'm going to survive I need my family to help me honour my needs
So when I say I can't do something, they need to respect it

At the moment they do not, and it's causing me a lot of pain
How do fellow autistics cope
How do they get family to #Respect their needs!!!

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My soul is broken Daily suicide thoughts.

Every day I live with very heavy thoughts, it’s don’t get any better. Every day I live with a big wish to die or being at the endive to jump out the window. I suffer a lot from chest pain. It’s burning me. It’s heavy. It’s hard to breathe, hard to read out it’s so hard to stand it. This pain killing me. I am so much worried and so much afraid of people. So much afraid from my own self that I won’t be able to hold down my impulse and suicide this life. I can’t get professional help, I got all insurances possible and they refuse me , I went to many countries and places organization and all without result , because I can’t afford treatment or DBT by my self. I feel too much broken to work and being able to process and deal with all life alone . I don’t get any support from family regarding BPD issues. I feel so lost in this life ... # BPD life #BPD #borderlinegirl #fellheavy #ineedhelp #Suicide #suicidal #chestpains



What could it possibly mean if you eat something and not even 10 mins passes and you have sharp pain in the abdominals? #Stomach #abdominals #ineedhelp #questions

1 comment

What are ways to help people you love out of their dark place? #helping #ineedhelp

My boyfriend is really struggling with wanting to stay alive. I don't know exactly what is going on because he says he doesn't know how to describe it. But I, myself, have been through a good amount of unfortunate events and I know it was scary. I didn't have much help so I don't know how to help him. If you have any suggestions I would appreciate it. #whatdoido

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