##fore I was diagnosed with BPD, my diagnoses were Bipolar2, depression and anxiety. During one of the rare times that my daughter chose to communicate with me she told me she had been diagnosed with Bipolar, severe depression and BPD and that it was all my fault. I wasn't familiar with BPD nor its abbreviation. So I defensively said she had made it all up and BPD was Bipolar. I'm filled with such shame and regret for that stupid comment. I became all that I hated in others when they invalidate my feelings. They're the last words she has to remember me by. #Children #Bipolar2Disorder #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Family #Kids #regrets
Today was a very hard day, my 15 year old daughter told me it is too hard to see me in person because of my health stuff (respirator, braces, splints, cane, etc), it is a reminder of what she lost, she just wants the old me back. Me too. She wants to do video chat, texts and phone calls because then it’s just like the old me. 😔 I get it, I can see her perspective, but it still hurts. I have also lost several friends over the last few days. I spent 38 years putting everyone else’s needs ahead of my own, but now that I am being “selfish” by literally taking care of my health and choosing not to die people are cutting me out. I am a reminder that life is fragile and if this can happen to me, it could happen to them. I did not choose to be sick, I did not choose to have my endocrine system fail, have genetic disorders or autoimmune diseases, but I am being punished for them, treated as if I must have done something wrong to deserve them. I cannot live without my respirator and distancing. Bloodwork shows my immune system is seriously impaired and even if infection doesn’t kill me a mast cell or adrenal crisis could. It also means I can’t get immunized. This is my reality, likely forever. I have been asked why I would even want to live. But… this popped up on my watch today, a reminder of how hard I have and continue to work to stay alive and as healthy as I can. I do 1 hour on the trike, 30-45 min dog walk and 45 mins of stretches everyday. For over 550 days in a row now, it would be over 1000, but I missed my goal by 40 calories one day a few years back. lol. I’m really proud of this. Despite chronic pain, dizziness, exhaustion, surgery and other challenges my physical health has always been a priority. Being physically active has helped me manage my pain, keep as much mobility as I can and keep my mental health good. I’m choosing to focus on this win today, not my losses. Life is always more good than bad. For 1250 days I pushed through and made my health a priority and that is a warrior. #AddisonsDisease #PosturalOrthostaticTachycardiaSyndrome #MastCellActivationDisorder #RaynaudsDisease #Asthma #MitochondrialDisease #EhlersDanlosSyndrome #PTSD #CeliacDisease #Kids #Abunchofrarediseases
The moment I realized if not me then who, I knew it was my calling to bring together experts in the different areas in our lives to help us so that we can help our kids.
The topics are as diverse as the lineup. Everything from meals, to creating an online business, to unschooling. If you're interested check it out. The event is free and I'd love to see you there!
#Depression #help #Kids #Hereditary #Worried
Anyone here a parent? Probably haha. But I'm asking because I am a parent of an 8 year old girl and a 6 year old boy.
I am so very concerned about my daughter. I worry when she won't talk to me. When she randomly cries and when I ask her why she says she doesn't know why.
I don't want her to go through what I go through but I don't know how to help her.
I feel like my heart is breaking. I have severe abandonment issues, especially with my kid. I went to this place where I have come to think of her as a friend. She’s 14, and when she doesn’t want to hang out I get so depressed. Or feel left out. I hate this. I want to make my own friends but I was in 2 back to back abusive relationships where I was not allowed to have friends, and it’s been 25 yrs since I had my own friends. I made on my own, I don’t know how. I don’t want to put this pressure on my child that she has to take care of me. And be my friend. It’s lame being friends with your mom, I remember. I’m trying to make friends online. But it’s not working out to well having BPD. I don’t know what to do. SOMEONE PLEASE HELP. My mom has done this to me and I’m still living with her, feeling guilty and not being able to move out. I feel trapped. I do not want to do this to my kid. So please, please help. I resent my mom so much to the point of almost hating her. I love my daughter so much. I do not want this to happen to us and it is headed that way.
Honestly all the effort, money and energy wasted on me, to grow into this useless, unworthy monster who wishes she wouldn't get up the next morning every night she lays in bed. My parents should've adopted a dog, I'm sure they'd get more out that dog. At least it wouldn't talk back and piss into their soul.
#BPD #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #Depression #Kids #Parenting
I've deleted all my social media accounts, my mother's following some of the people I know on instagram, and I know her password so I sneak in to see how everyone's doing, and god let me tell you how ANNOYED and pissed off I get when I see all my friends happy, moving forward, living their best young lives, working out, eating healthy, going out everyday... Meanwhile, I've been in my bed since forever, the highlight of my day was making a shitty lunch for my sister, and YES I am raising my sister on my own, and no my mother is still alive and completely well, she lives in another city, but still I don't understand how she'd let me keep her with my mental condition, anyway ... I know it sounds really horrible and it makes me a shitty person, but I genuinely hate seeing other people happy. I feel left out, and miserable ... I'm 20 but I feel like I'm constantly switching between 98 and 3. Everything's falling apart, I am losing my SHIT ...aaaand you're welcome for the update, have a good day