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A Positive Update 5 Months Post Relapse

In February, I took an extremely high dosage of Xanax and I almost (unintentionally) killed myself. The scare and the blessing of waking up a day later was enough to make me never refill my prescription for Xanax again.

Since then, my life has done a complete 180 and I wanted to share it with you guys because I would've never imagined my life going in this direction.

I overcame my social anxiety with exposure therapy.

I participated in a 6km walk and finished in 9th place.

I applied to college and got accepted.

I found part-time employment that I genuinely enjoy and works with my schedule and mental health.

I finished my 1st "official" painting and found a home for it.

I bought tickets for my 1st ever heavy metal concert (I'm gonna see Sepultura).

I built a recording booth from recycled materials I collected from my job.

I'm getting better at budgeting and managing my money.

I'm comfortably and openly exploring my sexuality.

I've made moments of solitude and loneliness more comforting through artistic creation.

Though I did write in my journal my goals and ambitions, I don't feel I "worked hard" to do any of this. Being so close to death brought back a genuine love for life that I lost a while ago. So now, I find myself doing things with joy and that naturally lead to these outcomes.

I'm going to be 30 years old in October. I remember being 20, at the worse point in my Xanax addiction and overall mental health. I would've never imagined myself being alive at this age and yet I'm overjoyed to be here. I really really hope you are too.

#Bipolar #Recovery #Addiction #Relapse #LifeUpdate

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A Life Update - Where Have I Been #CheckInWithMe

I was going to start this off by apologizing for not posting and for not being as active, but something I say to others and that I believe in very strongly, is that health should come first. And that’s what I had to do for the last week. I took some major steps to (hopefully) sending my health down the right path.

As some of y’all know, my pressure headaches and neck and back pain have been increasing for a short while now. They ended up getting so bad that I couldn’t lay down for very long without the pain getting unbearable (this is a normal symptom of a major high pressure headache). So the Thursday before last I was directly admitted to neurosurgery and plans for a shunt was made.

However, the next morning, they came back to me and said I was a candidate for Venus Sinus Stenting, which is much less invasive and could also help me drain csf fluid from my head. So for the next four days they helped manage my pain, prep me for surgery using specific medications, and introduce me to the team that was going to operate on me.

Tuesday late afternoon, the procedure happened on my right side. I honestly can’t remember all the fancy scientific names, but basically they stuck a small metal tube in a vein in my head to hold it more open and to allow more cerebral spinal fluid to be drained.

As of right now, I am home, still recovering, but excited to see how much this can help me in the long run!

#stent #IIH #iihwarrior #IdiopathicIntracranialHypertension #IntracranialHypertension #IH #CheckInWithMe #LifeUpdate #Hospital #hospitalstay #Surgery #Headache #Operation

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Hi there EVERYONE! #checkin #LifeUpdate

It's been a long time since I last visited the site. How have you all been? Hoping you all are doing things that bring smiles to your faces. What things have you done for yourselves/others that you are proud of? Please share your stories in comments if you like!

I've been pretty well (so long as no one FORCES me to leave the house, wear masks or get vaccines). I'm really content to be a shut-in. I've been enjoying watching a lot of livestreaming events, Kitty cuddles: when she's not too wrapped up in being outdoors: Either in the outdoor kitty enclosure or a brief escape into the backyard (hopefully supervised),to chase insects. She will be 2yrs old in August(5 days before my birthday) ALREADY! At her recent checkup last month, vet didn't have anything bad to report. Yay! My petite little girl weighed in at just over 7lbs...A little shocking!

Somethings I'm kinda proud of:

I've been doing pretty good SURPRISINGLY, with controlling my impulsive spending habit these last 6 months. Although yesterday, I did splurge & buy my self an EARLY birthday gift.

A tk for a zoom event... ABC soap opera fan here! ALL MY CHILDREN- CAST REUNION! Yes, FT. the fabulous Susan Lucci! WOOHOO! I'm excited Haven't seem these guys since AMC went off air over 10 yrs ago! My momma & I watched together(mid 90's-2001) when I was home from school. I miss you MOMMA XOXO!

Also wanted to share, I've been writing a bit- amateur, but do enjoy writing freely-what wants to come out...MY EXPRESSION! Posted my first piece 4 week ago: A mother's day/birthday gift for my mom. A poem/letter to her! Now working on part 2 poem piece _which will be my 6th piece hopefully... I'd like to share here with you( If allowed) when I'm done with it.

Untill then, Be Well. Take care of YOU!

Please do as many things you can that make you smile....Dancing For JOY!