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My Life of Cycling
Boy has this week been a humdinger! Fits of rage, the highs of mania, and the pit of depression and back again. Actually, this is my norm but it just felt more intense than usual.
I had an appointment with my psychologist yesterday. I told her that at the beginning of my mental health journey, the highs and lows would seem to come out of nowhere and I was pissed off. It took me several years to come to terms with the fact that the rollercoaster is always going. There is no off-season. It never shuts down.
She and I talked about how to sort of go with the flow. Know that it is going to happen and be okay with it. I told her that I ride the high as long as I can and take advantage of it.
She suggested that I have some ideas of what to do to when I fall into the pit of despair.
The one thing I know to be true that no matter what, Jesus is with me. Whether I am high as a kite or as low as I can go, He is there walking beside me.
The funny thing is that the ultra-rapid cycling is almost a blessing. I know that sounds crazy, but hear me out. I have more highs than I do lows. One of my dearest friends has severe major depression. She is in bed more than she is out of bed. When she has a good day, she hangs onto it with dear life because she knows it is fleeting.
I say my ultra-rapid cycling is a blessing because I could be on the flip side where the depression is more frequent and lasts longer than the hypomania or mania.
What about you? Do you experience more mania than depression or is it the other way around? What do you do to cope with cycling?
#bipolarcycling #Bipolar #Depression #Mania #Hypomania #mentalhealthawarenss #Jesus #god
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