MyHeartHurts

Today I am lonely, sad, and lost.

How are you?

This problems with my job and marriage made me feel like a failure
Today's mental health goals are to try to find some positive
These are the reasons why I'm proud of myself: I haven't given up yet
I've been thinking a lot about my faith, trying to connect more with God
I'm feeling unsuccessful today...
I want to find peace, find joy, have a stronger connection with God
I hope I can overcome what I perceive are my failures
I love my children, my family, laughing
I will continue to try #struggleisreal #MyHeartHurts #depressionsucks #Feelinglikeafailure

It’s been 3 years since my daughter has lived with me, he enrolled her in a school without me knowing, I don’t see her for months. I thought that things would go back to the way they were which was shared custody, I was in huge denial, I never thought anyone could be so mean. I’m not perfect, but one thing I can tell you is that I followed all the judges rules each and every one, and raised my daughter the very best that I could, never said a bad word about her dad, or tell her how mean he actually is to me. And he has bought her love, and told her many lies. He has $$$, and I don’t! #Talkingtohimdoesntwork #Hetellsmeconstantlysheisjusttobusy #Heputherineverysportimagineable #Wantmydaughterback #Ifeelsodown #Hehaswreckedmyselfesteemandselfworth #Somedaysiwishiwouldjustdie #Thepainistomuch #Ilovedbeingamom #IwantmybabybackHELP #dontknowwhattodo #Mydaughterneedsamom #Shehasnosparetimetoseeme #Ilovehermorethananything

My mother send me a nasty message today saying that I don’t take care of myself and thats why I have mental health issues. She said stop advertising that it’s mental health when your making it worse for yourself. I feel so defeated.

#MyHeartHurts #Anxiety #Depression

Long story short... I’ve struggled with severe depression and anxiety for about 8 years now. It hit me hard the very last year that my husband (of 20 years) worked overseas (war zone) as personal security. He did this line of work for a total of 6 years. Eight years later, here I am, still struggling with my depression and anxiety. It was a really tough time in my life, especially with two young children. And as many of you know, with it comes horrible insomnia.

Some nights are better than others. My husband works on a 2 weeks on/2 weeks off schedule. So when he’s away it’s just me, therefore I just deal. And when I talk to him on the phone he’s so understanding, says how sorry he is that I have to deal with it on my own, wishes he was here to help me out with it, etc. Now when he’s home, it’s a completely different story. Had an episode the other night where I woke up at 2 AM and could not go back to sleep to save my life. So I tried waking him to let him know and see if he could just help me to get back to sleep, but nothing he just kept sleeping away. Eventually he did awake but just got angry with me saying the same ‘ol “just go back to sleep”. Then proceeds to say things like “here we go again” “it’s always something with you” “here, I’m awake, now what do you want” but all of it in a very angry or sarcastic tone. So of course all of this for me is just heartbreaking and so hurtful that I just start to sob. And try my best to just lay there and cry myself to sleep. While he lays inches from me and just goes back to sleep as I sob. No hug, no empathy... NOTHING. I can’t even imagine ever being like that toward him if he had an episode like that. I would stay up all night and just hold him. My heart just breaks more and more each time he reacts that way. And yes, I understand that I am not always easy to deal with, but to me it’s just so cruel to act the way he does. It’s one thing when he’s away and I’m truly alone and it’s another when he’s inches from me, yet I feel more alone than ever. Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? #MyHeartHurts #noempathy #Insomnia