alienated

#Suicide #ChronicDepression #ChildLoss #Anxiety #alienated #PTSD #EmotionalNeglect

Does anyone else talk to themselves? Is it just me that finds myself telling my son Jacob who committed suicide "please honey let mommy have peace in my heart and mind, even if it is only for a little while"

I used to love being alone, in fact I enjoyed my own company over others at times. I'm an introvert and extrovert. When I go to the store I talk to everyone. I love meeting people and hearing their story. I planned to go to a bar/restaurant that has trivia tonight. I'm not a drinker but do enjoy being around people for a limited time. Now I just want to climb into bed and cry. I heard the following on a TV show I watch "life isn't meant to be solved, sometimes it's a tragedy that you endure" (not exact) but it's tragic but somewhat true " I'm not sure I can endure it any more. #sad #Hopless #Depression #ComplicatedGrief #estranged #alienated #alone #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder

So...my psychiatrist told me that it sounds like I have BPD. She didnt think it was "necessary" to put it down on my medical record. I'm thinking this is because of how people, even professionals, look at sufferers of BPD as being bad scary people??? Ofcourse i've questioned myself as being both those thing for most my life...I don't have any serious friends now because (obvious reasons lol) I just suck at keeping friends. I wish i had a friend that was aware and accepting of me and wouldn't hate me after showing my emotions--but it's like everyone runs away. My last "friend" ended up alienating me (just like so many before) and when I asked her about it she said that we were just two different people in two different places in life??? It is so frustrating. I feel like an alien. Maybe aliens would be more acepting? 🤔 lol #BorderlinePersonalityDisorder #frustrated #hypersensitive Personality Disorder #alienated #Emotionaldisregulation

This morning, I’ve seemed to be full of ‘why’ questions. Many of which I feel don’t have answers. I feel totally frustrated, angry, hopeless, among other things. Why should I hold on to anything if nothing really stays? Why should my life be looked at as valuable if all I feel is invisible in a world full of people? Why do I hold such hope and compassion for people who only care about what they can get out of life for themselves? Why do I create space for people whom I feel don’t care for me as much as I care for them? Why should I keep showing up for people who only care when I’ve stopped coming around? Just... Why? And I keep putting myself through hell every time. Maybe it would be better to close myself off from the world... I’ve become soured by life. I’ve given up looking for signs of good because my heart has been broken enough times while looking for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and always finding fool’s gold. My life, among other things, don’t seem to have the importance it once had, and all I want is to vanish into thin air. #Depression #MentalHealth #whybother #why #hurtandangry #frustrated #alienated #questions #angry #Lostmyjoy #hopelessness #isolated #aloneinlife #givingup #Lossofcontrol #ivehadenough

It’s been 3 years since my daughter has lived with me, he enrolled her in a school without me knowing, I don’t see her for months. I thought that things would go back to the way they were which was shared custody, I was in huge denial, I never thought anyone could be so mean. I’m not perfect, but one thing I can tell you is that I followed all the judges rules each and every one, and raised my daughter the very best that I could, never said a bad word about her dad, or tell her how mean he actually is to me. And he has bought her love, and told her many lies. He has $$$, and I don’t! #Talkingtohimdoesntwork #Hetellsmeconstantlysheisjusttobusy #Heputherineverysportimagineable #Wantmydaughterback #Ifeelsodown #Hehaswreckedmyselfesteemandselfworth #Somedaysiwishiwouldjustdie #Thepainistomuch #Ilovedbeingamom #IwantmybabybackHELP #dontknowwhattodo #Mydaughterneedsamom #Shehasnosparetimetoseeme #Ilovehermorethananything

#Depression #Loneliness #alienated

I shared some deep emotions and things I was going through in what I thought was a safe space and it resulted in being shamed for bringing it up at christmas time. #BPD #Anxiety #alienated #noonewantstolisten #Noonewantstounderstand

Today my thoughts weep
As they always do
As we draw further away from each other
My hell grows nearer

My hell is a warm place
It comforts me so
So I will turn away
From the pain I know

It’s a pain of Others
How I am a discarded soul
Not worth anything
From a society so cold

So do not weeps
Just turn away
It’s the easiest thing to do
Just pretend I am never here #Depression #Isolation