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Completely and utterly exhausted

I really can’t fathom this beyond selfish, uncaring, disappointing, disgusting world we live in. I try to stay as POSITIVE as possible; however day by day it’s just becoming basically impossible. In what kind of a world do you go see your GP for an underlying condition that’s been going on for months now and is just getting worse and more severe and get treated as if you don’t matter, you’re not important and rudely get rushed and rushed when you’re trying to explain everything that’s been going on due to being scared shitless and ridden with anxiety 24/7 that something is most def wrong. What kind of a world is it okay for a Dr to not listen to your lungs or heart, doesn’t check your ears, throat or lymph nodes under your jaw when everything needs to be ruled out due to the symptoms you’re experiencing. No bedside manner, no empathy not even a care in the world that I’m in constant excruciating pain 24/7 legit hysterically crying to him due to the pain I’ve been dealing with for 4 straight months now. I went in with the hopes of being treated like a human being, instead it was like I was just a number and a code to be paid for. How is it right for your own Dr you’ve been seeing for years now is just talking crap under his breath saying “I have to leave” and rushing me out the door when I was in the middle of a conversation. I completely understand how busy Drs can be, I am a board certified Ophthalmic Scribe; so I know how a patient is supposed to be treated. He also interrupted me abruptly and said that I was on a medication that I don’t take lightly and I haven’t been on it for over 8/9 years, what an INSULT that was!! So what you can’t even look at my chart to see what meds I’m on?!? What are you doing the whole time your back is turned to me then?? Mind you, an assistant brings you in first and is supposed to go over your meds & history and she couldn’t even do her job, like what?!? I was being belittled the entire time and he didn’t “like” the questions I was asking, WTF? Hello, it’s my body and I am the one that has to deal with it on a daily basis, I DESERVE to ask as many questions as I want, how dare you say or act otherwise?!? Since he was I guess “aggravated”at my questions, he abruptly kept answering with only yes or no answers. I asked if there was anyway I still had an infection that didn’t go away and he again said abruptly “NO” without even examining me?!? How is this right in any way, shape or form? It’s NOT!! I asked him for a refill on a medication for my migraines that mind you in the past year, I’ve only received 1 prescription with 15 tablets, not even a months worth, just 1 all year!! It’s the only medication that decreases my pain and allows me to get some stuff done, instead of being bedridden for days on end. He “didn’t” like that I asked so he kept rushing & rushing me out the door, got up like a damn CHILD basically running out the door, what is that s***?! There was no ending to our appointment, no “I’ll call you when the labs come in, or do you want to make a follow up appointment, no goodbye NOTHING!!! I went in deathly scared and left even more scared than I’ve ever been. It could be my heart, my kidneys, my circulation or vascular. That is not to take lightly at all!! I am so beyond frustrated and hurt, mad, sad, dissatisfied, disappointed, misunderstood and filled with many unknowns. I was grown up with the “Golden Rule”; you treat people the way YOU want to be treated & I live by that and it’s absolutely disgusting that even a Dr can’t give you the time of day or the care and help you desperately need. These Drs are getting away with way to much unacceptable, inappropriate and unprofessional behaviors and actions. Yes I will admit I was running 10 mins behind due to traffic, however I called b/c it’s the right thing to do and was told “Don’t rush, weren’t not busy”. If there’s anything I’m guilty of is being to nice of a person and caring about people more then I should, I always give everyone the benefit of the doubt due to you never knowing what someone is truly going through and yet it slaps me in the face every damn time, it’s so sad to say the least. They say “reach out if you need help”, “Don’t hesitate, we’re here to help” or what have you. You do whatever means necessary to advocate for yourself and it gets you no where 😥. All I am trying to do is find out what is wrong with me so I can hopefully get my life back, I guess that’s to much to ask, idk anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️ #fedup #overwhelmed #BipolarDepression #MajorDepressiveDisorder #Anxiety #IBS #dontknowwhattodo #alone #ChronicPain

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21 Year Old Daughter

I'd like to start by explaining there was the time in our relationship when my daughter did not live with me. She was alienated from me by her father and his then girlfriend and lived with them approximately four years. This was extremely difficult for me and I ended up inpatient at that time.

My daughter and the girlfriend got into a very big fight when she was 18 and she moved back home. She had friends over drinking and smoking weed all the time. We clashed over it many times. Last year in January we got into another argument and she punched me in the nose. I kicked her out. I believe she has explosive disorder and possibly bipolar.

So then I was living alone and I do not do well alone. She was needing a place to stay and of course I'm her mom and have a big heart and I am a doormat so I welcomed her back in. We discussed how things would go and we talk about things after we have disagreements. We're very conscious of each other's feelings. And we really are making Headway. But now I have to move. She wasn't supposed to be living with me because I have housing assistance for one person. Most young people live at home still.

Now with us both scrambling to find a place she has decided to go to school and live on campus. With her dog. Wants to certify him as a support animal.
Normally this would be a good idea but she works overnights and is exhausted and moody and sleeps during the day. Then she picks up my grandson from daycare.
I truly don't feel she is in the mindset or has the motivation or energy to give School the attention in order to succeed. Also she is trying to get housing because she doesn't want to pay for an apartment and end up like me. In poverty.

I can see this becoming a failure but I guess I just have to let her figure it out? Idk....
#Daughter #confuses #stressed #dontknowwhattodo

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How to cope with regret? Guilt or what if thoughts 💭?

Recently going through a breakup, somewhat mutual but I brought up the fact that maybe we are going around in circles breaking up and getting back together, I had a bad panic attack/ crying I was stressed/ overwhelmed and they meant well to support me but were comparing me, saying I should be stronger, crying makes me weak etc, English isn’t their first language but they speak it well 🗣️, and I guess I was hurt because I know they meant well but it just made me feel more crappy and stigmatized, they kept going on and on and comparing me to other people etc. I know they loved me and were just concerned, but it sucks i feel regret though I feel in my gut it was problem for the best for both of us. But almost 3 years into a relationship
It’s still hard to let go. I’m proud of myself for doing a lot better than I expected but it’s hard when you get those emotional breakdowns and are just overwhelmed by everything and life in general.

#breakup #recovering #MentalHealth #Hurts #grieving #relationship #Ex
#healthybuttoxictoo #help #kindreminders #helpme #sad #Crying #Upset #Disappointed #regrets #dontknowwhattodo #isolated

21 reactions 7 comments

In A New Relationship With Someone Boarder Line Personality

Hi everyone im looking for some advise. Im in a new relationship with a guy who has boarder line personality disorder. Im looking for advise on how I can help him with his trust issues.

Everything has been going well but on a regular basis now im being questioned if I really want to be with him, if I want to walk away from him & If im talking to any other men. Im trying to reassure him as much as possible & be understanding but at the same time it's getting frustrating. Could anyone please give me some advise.


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Not feeling so mighty..

First day of work, was excited and proud of myself. Everything was perfect, I had been planning it for two weeks so nothing could go wrong. Right? Well.. I guess my mental health had other plans for me.. I'm on the other side of what I would call a crawl in a hole attack (panic of being alone but being a disappointment to those around you), which gets severe enough for an ER trip normally.. thank goodness for Mobile Crisis Lines.. I guess my PTSD and anxiety wasn't ready.. I have another job (different) lined up so I don't feel too bad but.. I let everyone down on what was supposed to be the best day ever because my stupid head couldn't handle being alone.. (The work I would have done would have been in a client's home, 1-1 care).. #Anxiety #PTSD #Disappointments #lost #dontknowwhattodo


Can anxiety meds be causing my depression?

When I get my intense anxiety, which is everyday.. I take a Valium and it eases it a bit but I feel like maybe it’s causing some depression. I’m also on tramadol but very low dose, 25mg at night and not sure if that could be causing anxiety and depression or if it’s the Benzo. Thinking of switching to Klonopin and see if that helps me..? Anyone have experience with these meds?
#alldayanxiety #dontknowwhattodo #Depression ? #lost #notmyselflately



Trigger warning!
I've been diagnosed with Bpd, anxiety, for over 10 years. And I self harm also. I've been separated from my ex for 6 years. I've got 4 girls 13 ,10 ,7 ,and 2 .
I got evicted from my private housing on 13th March as was in arrears. Because I was think I was self sabotaging myself and spending some of the rent on my girls birthday presents, school uniforms and Christmas presents etc . I feel so bad now . I'm in temporary accommodation at the moment but I had an email to say I've basically made myself intentionally homeless. I've got to write an email before he makes his final decision other reasons why . So I phoned up cab thet told me to write about my mental health and how it effects me . I'm finding it hard as I keep on crying .I've let my girls down . I really want to self harm but I know I cant because last time I did I had social services. It's hard to keep on fighting my thoughts. If I lose my girls I will have nothing to fight for .😪 I just dont what to do anymore. I've got till Friday to write Email . Then after that if I made myself homeless then I got 28 days to find a place . Ive got bad credit so cant rent private . . I dont know if I can do this anymore.
Sorry about long post .

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Losing the Partner I Love? Thoughts? Advice? Valentine'sDay?

My partner is the love of my life. In my mid-30s, I'm old enough and wise enough to know what that means, and I know how blessed I am with him. He is so much more than I ever would have hoped for or asked for. He's the most wonderfully supportive and understanding partner. For the first time in my life I feel loved the way I've always hungered to be loved, and we've both been hoping to share our futures together. I've never loved anyone more, or with more joy, or with more hope. It was surprising to discover that there's nothing I want and desire more than our relationship, our love, and our future together... Nothing at all, and that's saying a lot for me. This is the most important part of my life.

I've been sensing that my partner is pulling away from me, losing interest in me, frustrated or overwhelmed by my current needs, and preparing to leave me. But he's been insisting otherwise, and I tend to have anxiety around romantic relationships, so I've been trusting his word instead of my intuition. We live several hours apart, so it can be difficult to gauge emotion through messaging from day to day.

Last night he admitted some frustration, demonstrated disinterested, and finally admitted that he frequently hides his feelings to spare mine.  I'm more worried than ever that he resents me, has lost interest, and wants out.

I would be beyond devastated -- absolutely crushed -- if his feelings for me changed or if he left. I don't have another round of heartbreak in me... After 7 years, I was still healing from my last deep heartbreak when I met him.

Mighties, I'm not really sure what I need from this community right now. Prayers for our relationship, if you pray. Advice. Thoughts or support of any kind. I have no one else to talk to about this, and it's eating away at me, making it difficult to concentrate on a very full day of work.

If you have any Valentine's Day ideas appropriate to this situation, I'd very much appreciate them. We aren't going to be seeing each other, and I'm not sure if he wants to do anything at all, of if he feels obligated. I was working on a surprise for him all of last week, and then he ended up doing that for himself on Sunday. But in spite of all we're going through, I still want to do something, for the man I love so much.

Thank you, Mighties, for reading my post and listening to my sadness and fears. 🙏🏼

#Relationships #relationshipanxiety #Anxiety #Sadness #Depression #Valentines #ValentinesDay #ChronicIllness #MentalHealth #heartbreak #dontknowwhattodo #CheckInWithMe #Support #Advice #encouragement



So, for those of you following, it is now T-minus 16 days until I move out. And unfortunately, he (my soon to be ex husband) keeps making plans and talking about the future. He wants to move to another house in our neighborhood, and we're looking at that house on Monday. I want to at least let him know not to count on me and my best friend for rent and such since we are most assuredly not going to be there. Also, I have no idea when an apartment will become available, even though we are approved for one. Hopefully, it's before my husband decides to move to this other house. If not, then what do I do? If I do tell him that I'm leaving him, when? And how? I don't really know how he will react, given his narcissist and manipulative ways. So, do I even tell him? Help?? #dontknowwhattodo #help


Does anyone ever have trouble keeping appointments?

So I have been forgetting doctor appointments or sleeping past appointment times, is this the depression, ptsd, and anxiety? Or is it laziness? Could it be my dyslexia? FeFealing pretty bad about myself....
#appointment#appointments #PTSD #MajorDepressiveDisorder #GeneralizedAnxietyDisorder #missed #Doctor #dontknowwhat #dontknowwhattodo