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    Therapy Session.. not feeling good at all

    Today has just been a icky day. I can't deal with these emotions I've been left with. I just want to hide myself away. I'm angry and frustrated, I really don't even know why. I feel like I'm losing it, I need help #Childhood Trauma #Trauma #Need #Depression

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    Depressed

    Feeling very sad today because my boss said she had some concerns about my job performance.#sad #depressed #anxious .
    #Need prayer.

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    I need help # distresscall

    What do I do now? #Need help
    I constantly review my failures up to 50 years ago and they bring me to tears. Also I have nobody to talk to

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    I don't want to live nor die. #MentalHealth #SuicidalIdeation #Depression #Anxiety #TriggerWarnings #EmotionalRegulationDisorder

    Tonight I found myself typing into the search bar on the internet "I don't want to live but i don't want to die" and within the articles I read to what I am feeling like I came across this platform.

    In the past (I will speak more in the future on this, maybe?) I have tried killing myself but someone above told me, no, I have plans for you. Stay. I am glad I survived every attempt do not get me wrong. I appreciate a lot more things - nature wise and some "accomplishments" - but the feeling of wanting to die just never simply leaves my mind. I don't want to be here nor do I want to be there. I don't want to die, the aftermath hurts, mentally and physically. Not only to myself but others. I also cannot let my furbabies down. They are the reason I am here today and I owe them the world and more... It's just the thought is always there and the possibilities of the least painful way to go. Yet I don't want to go... I just feel lost, broken and very tired from these thoughts tonight as well as my "melt down" as everything just becomes "noise" around me and in my head. I cannot escape the up and downs i experience within a matter of seconds. I feel worthless yet very superior, I guess it depends on which me is "in control" at the time. I hate it. It gets too much and too stressful. I just cannot keep up with myself...

    I never thought I would be in a safe community posting like this but I am now. It may be a positive start within myself to air what goes on in my mind, real life and provide almost a "comfort" to others that they are not alone, weird or *insert regular hurtful name here that you hear a lot*. It sucks. Mental health sucks. I wish I didn't type them words into the internet but at the same time I am glad because it was, lets say, a cry for help. Though I know no one will see nor hear that really... that's what hurts the most I guess, no one is really here or there in my world... its all "noise".

    I also don't want my posts to come across like I #Need validation, to be felt sorry for or anything else that you could say "attention seeking" (I use this term very lightly and will only use these words towards myself) I just want to raise awareness of my daily life and I know I wont be the only one, which is why I feel the urge to type all this, which is also a comfort to me knowing "I am not alone" yet I am behind this screen...

    Within the posts I will start of slowly and cautiously to what I put online as I acknowledge others potential triggers, and that's okay! I know I will be careful myself as I know I am an extremely emotionally sensitive person and feel all too much at once and it gets heavy on the mind. I have shared on my profile a few things I do personally suffer with and the things I am following to try and benefit from others as well as educate myself on other(s) struggles mentally and physically as I will admit I am intrigued to know what others go through.

    Lastly I just want to thank The Mighty for this place.

    Question

    I am not getting the support I need here.#Need help #please #ican 'tdothisanymore

    #CheckInWithMe

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    See full photo

    Why do I sometimes feel like a defeated warrior ? #Fibromyalgia

    I m a fighter, I never give up trying to find ways to improve my condition. I m on a new diet, excuding dairies and gluten, I take homeopathia and do acupuncture sessions that seem to relieve my pains, so far. I also go Nordic walking as I was told to move, that sport was the best way to make your muscles more supple. I fight.
    I was told by the doctor who diagnosed me that carrying weights had nothing to do with the pains procured by fibromyalgia.
    Yes, today I feel like a defeated warrior.
    Yesterday, I did some shopping and carried some bags. In the past few days , I did some gardening, which I enjoyed.
    Today I m a wreck. I feel like I m wearing a burning coat of arms. My body is shouting with pain and I can t even stand up properly.
    What is it I am supposed to do, then???
    #Need HELP! 🙏😤😫

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    Feeling invisible

    Do you notice that nobody notices you or you can't even smile at anyone even though I find myself doing it because of my manners and I have a accent and now nobody can understand me with the new normal.im glad for masks but they make me a bit sad.Anyone else# bipolar#chronic depression#radation disease#Need fake bladder but have to put weight on to survive the operation.its in God's hands

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    Feeling invisible

    Do you notice that nobody notices you or you can't even smile at anyone even though I find myself doing it because of my manners and I have a accent and now nobody can understand me with the new normal.im glad for masks but they make me a bit sad.Anyone else# bipolar#chronic depression#radation disease#Need fake bladder but have to put weight on to survive the operation.its in God's hands